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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

wonder what has happened to couple who freebirthed in Carribean?

388 replies

StrangerYears · 19/10/2023 03:43

Clive and Iuliia Gurzhii were all over the news for 3 days in August, after idiotically going to give birth on a beach a long way from home.
The birth was unwitnessed and very odd circumstances.
I googled them and all I could find was a gofundme (never saw that one coming!!) - it raised GBP128 out of an ambitious target of GBP15.000.

Do you think they are still out there?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
SunsetBeauregarde · 22/10/2023 09:13

They personally prefer birthing parent because they feel ‘birth mother’ gives one of them a different status as a ‘mother’ vs the other. They find ‘parent’ to be a less loaded term for them that they’re happier to use to distinguish between them as they consider themselves bother to be equal ‘mothers’. Either does the job though, and neither would be offended if you referred to one as a ‘birth mother’, it’s just a preference they have much like I imagine other people prefer ‘mum’ or ‘birth mum’. As long as the language clearly communicates which one of a couple gave birth then it serves its purpose: ironically unlike the word ‘mother’ which doesn’t communicate who gave birth clearly at all.

WaltzingWaters · 22/10/2023 09:15

Wondering what morons gave these selfish morons £128. Very glad they didn’t get more than this though.

Sometimeswinning · 22/10/2023 09:18

SoupDragon · 21/10/2023 09:06

Probably because one was the mother and one was the aunt. Obviously.

where there are two female parents it is different - there are two mothers.

Yeah but surely the mum who didn’t give birth would just say “I didn’t give birth.” That would sort any confusion. Then the other mum could say “I gave birth.”

SunsetBeauregarde · 22/10/2023 09:19

In their case is isn’t even remotely obvious which one of them gave birth, seeing as they are both mothers and therefore their body language, reactions to the child etc are all the same. I imagine in your case, it would be very obvious because one of the people in your scenario is not the child’s parent.

In fact if you had to guess by looking at them, you’d guess the none birthing parent is biologically related to their little girl because they look so alike, it’s really strange.

SunsetBeauregarde · 22/10/2023 09:24

Usually, a medical professional when meeting them all together asks the question ‘who’s mum?’ Not wanting to assume they're a couple, and they’ll reply ‘we both are but I’m the birthing parent’ - no offence caused to anyone, simple language that communicates exactly what’s needed nice an efficiently. ‘Im the birth mother’ wouldn’t tell the medical professional that they both parent the child and both have PR, it could be a surrogacy situation, adoption, foster carer and birth mother etc etc. For them, this language works well and so because they prefer it, I and any normal person they meet and introduce themselves to uses it without comment.

CoffeeBean5 · 22/10/2023 18:15

SunsetBeauregarde · 22/10/2023 09:13

They personally prefer birthing parent because they feel ‘birth mother’ gives one of them a different status as a ‘mother’ vs the other. They find ‘parent’ to be a less loaded term for them that they’re happier to use to distinguish between them as they consider themselves bother to be equal ‘mothers’. Either does the job though, and neither would be offended if you referred to one as a ‘birth mother’, it’s just a preference they have much like I imagine other people prefer ‘mum’ or ‘birth mum’. As long as the language clearly communicates which one of a couple gave birth then it serves its purpose: ironically unlike the word ‘mother’ which doesn’t communicate who gave birth clearly at all.

Doctor: Which one of you is the mother?
Your friends: We both are.
Doctor: sorry, which one is the birth mother?
Friend: I am the birth mother.

Simple. Birth 'parent' sounds as though dads can give birth too when they can't. As a woman who has given birth, I hate the term birthing person.

MachinesOfGod · 22/10/2023 18:24

All these people giving birth in the sea…are they not afraid of getting a nasty endometritis from V. Vulnificus?! Or another nasty bacterial pathogen found in the sea?

Dwappy · 22/10/2023 19:10

MachinesOfGod · 22/10/2023 18:24

All these people giving birth in the sea…are they not afraid of getting a nasty endometritis from V. Vulnificus?! Or another nasty bacterial pathogen found in the sea?

No because its all natural and if you are at one with nature nothing bad will happen. Or something.

In the real would nature is full of infections and illnesses and horrible painful deaths. But for some reason some people think nature is always better than cleanliness and medicine.

(Disclaimer before anyone starts saying that medicine can get things wrong. I am aware of this. I do know bad things can occasionally happen in medicine and with medical interventions etc as well)

SunsetBeauregarde · 23/10/2023 09:17

Also as a woman who has given birth i can’t for a second get wound up about use of language that SOMEONE ELSE uses to refer to THEMSELVES. No one is asking you to be referred to as a birthing parent, just to accept for some women, they prefer it. I personally HATE when medical professionals and health visitors call me ‘mum’ in relation to my child and don’t ask my name, but I recognise if it matters to me I can ask them to change their language if I want to just like everyone else can.

HJ40 · 23/10/2023 09:41

On the previous thread on this at the time, IIRC, there was a poster who knew them/knew of them through the older daughter who'd been left at home.

She's the one I felt for in the whole sorry mess.

It is odd how quiet it's gone given they were seeking funding!

But it definitely didn't add up.

EdHol · 27/10/2023 13:58

Anyone found them online?

Mrchadchad · 11/11/2023 14:20

Child has been taken into care, parents are conspiracy theorists

MadeOfAllWork · 11/11/2023 15:03

Mrchadchad · 11/11/2023 14:20

Child has been taken into care, parents are conspiracy theorists

Do you have any proof to back that up?

GoodnightGentlemen · 11/11/2023 15:22

CoffeeBean5 · 22/10/2023 08:33

The correct term is birth mother or biological mother, not birthing 'person.' If an egg donor is used then the woman giving birth is a birth mother, not biological mother (how confusing!). The birth mum's female partner will be a mum through marriage. Or maybe she has to adopt - I'm not sure how it works.

It's like when a heterosexual couple use a sperm donor. He won't be the biological father, but he'll be a father by marriage.

The birth mum's female partner will be a mum through marriage. Or maybe she has to adopt - I'm not sure how it works.

If they are married/civil partnershiped pre baby, and the baby is born via some type of artificial insemination then they both go on the birth certificate- birth mother as ‘mother’, and the other mother as ‘parent’.

There is absolutely no need to remove the term mother just because they are gay. I’m my child’s birth mother, my wife is also his mother. I don’t loose my status as a birthing mother just because someone else is also his mother, and she wouldn’t gain anything by us both being called ‘parent’- the biological facts are there: she did not give birth, she is not genetically related to our ds. Fannying around with words won’t change that- if there was going to be some sort of emotional upset about that just using the word parent instead of mother would not help, it would not change biological reality.

Mrchadchad · 11/11/2023 22:05

This reply has been deleted

We decided to remove this post due to privacy risk.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/11/2023 22:16

Poor kids, particularly the older one who must be starting to realise her parents are complete and utter wallopers by now.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/11/2023 22:18

Managed to hot foot it back sharpish to Sunny Ashton though didn't they? Or is it just Clive, and the Mum and the unfortunately new baby are still out there?

MadeOfAllWork · 11/11/2023 22:21

Thank you for posting that flyer.

That poor girl. I hope she is safe. Clive seems really rather unstable.

Catsmere · 11/11/2023 22:26

Am I reading that right? 7 September Clive is still trapped in Grenada due to immigration issues but 15 September he's back home and his daughter is kidnapped from his arms? Did he manage to sort his immigration issues all of a sudden in the space of a week?

I dunno, given Clive's history, I just feel very doubtful about all this.

TooBigForMyBoots · 11/11/2023 22:31

WTAF?

YouCanExfilNow · 11/11/2023 22:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Isittimeformynapyet · 11/11/2023 23:12

MachinesOfGod · 22/10/2023 18:24

All these people giving birth in the sea…are they not afraid of getting a nasty endometritis from V. Vulnificus?! Or another nasty bacterial pathogen found in the sea?

You sound so sure that everyone's heard of it! People aren't scared of things they don't know exist.

GetBackIntoBed · 11/11/2023 23:38

Who is Clive?

The flyer only talks about a Chris

Pollyannamex · 11/11/2023 23:47

GetBackIntoBed · 11/11/2023 23:38

Who is Clive?

The flyer only talks about a Chris

It mentions Clive loads of times

Catsmere · 11/11/2023 23:48

GetBackIntoBed · 11/11/2023 23:38

Who is Clive?

The flyer only talks about a Chris

Blow it right up, it isn't Chris, it's Clive - he's the dickhead with a long history of utter stupidity. If you look for the first threads about him you're in for a treat.