To comment on being ‘airbrushed’ out of girl weekend IG post

[Readytoplay]

Last weekend, my friend organised a ‘girls' weekend’ for her birthday. In attendance were me, friend’s GF, another friend of hers from school and 4 of her Uni mates (that I hadn’t met prior to this trip). Yesterday friend who organised the trip posted on IG some pictures of the trip and tagged everyone but me. I really want to comment something along the lines of ‘it’s almost like I wasn’t there’ but not sure if I should. I haven't literally been airbrushed from the pictures, but It feels like I have been airbrushed from the event itself.

For context, I am autistic and really struggle with feeling valued as a person, due to the stigma that being ND has especially when I was a teen. I am just really hurt as it is bringing up the scars from school of no one wanting to be associated with the ‘SEN girl’.

AIBU to put a sarky/PA comment: mostly because I want to project how I feel. But at the same I don’t want to be meet the stereotype of Autistic= difficult/confrontational.

YABU: don’t put a comment
YANBU: do put a comment.

It’s always unreasonable to put a sarky or passive aggressive comment. Just say what you mean.

Personally I wouldn't because they already knew what they were doing when the left you out of the photos. It's not like a public shaming will make them value you more. It will acheive nothing other than possibly having them laughing behind your back. I also wouldn't regard them as friends though and would distance myself from them going forward.

A quick message, hi x, hope you are well and recovered from a great weekend. You have missed my tag on photos, do you have my instagram/Facebook details. Lovely to meet you.

Talk to your friend privately.

It might have been a genuine error, it’s a lot of people to remember to tag.

Don't put a comment.
I would recommend letting it go. But if you want to discuss it, message your friend directly and ask her why you weren't tagged in the pics.

Are you actually friends with this girl? Does she even follow you?

Either way, no don't post this comment under her photo.

So you haven’t been removed from any pictures, she just didn’t tag you in the post? If so you are really making something out of nothing.

This is someone who you'd never met before that weekend? But they knew everyone else? So they've tagged their own friends?

Definitely do not put that comment unless you want to lose a friend.

I think you're probably overthinking this tbh, it was probably a mistake.

Maybe she forgot your name if you don't know each other that well. I assume you're in the photos? Just tag yourself!

What? What on earth is the point of the thread title then?

Unless I've misunderstood, you've just not been tagged?

If you don't know her very well, maybe she didn't feel able to tag you or didn't know your instagram name.

I assume she didn't remove you from the pictures.

Don't go in with the PA remarks, you'll make yourself look like a tit.

I actually wouldn't tag someone I didn't know all that well, in case that person might not like it. I'd try and check with them first, but if I didn't know for sure that they were happy with it, I wouldn't tag.

are you in the pictures but just not tagged?

I’d comment! But then I can be a bit of a cow about things like that

Sounds hurtful but no good will come if it if you do OP. If you want to say something just be direct and honest about how it has made you feel but do it privately. Otherwise it will get flipped back on you to make you look like the bad/unreasonable one. Also - you can't exclude the possibility that it might be an oversight, so better to check first before causing a rift.

Just don’t!

Are other posters missing that it was your actual friend who posted the photos and didn't tag you, or am I getting it wrong?
If it was your friend, then I would say something. Its hurt you and your feelings are valid. I assume you are actually on the photos she's posted. So why didn't she tag you?

I thought you meant you’d literally been airbrushed out of the photos. But to not tag you? I hate being tagged in photos without prior approval. I often un tag myself. It’s a minefield. Maybe she just tagged a few of those she knows better/knows they want to be tagged.

I think you’re overthinking it. Unless they have actual cut you out of the photos.

I can understand why it feels hurtful but try not to jump to the worst conclusion. She wouldn't have invited you if she didn't want to include 'that SEN girl'.

I would give her chance to rectify it by messaging and asking her to tag you in too as you cant see yourself there and would like to have the pics on your feed as it was such a lovely weekend. Bright and breezy. With this sort of thing, give a friend the benefit of the doubt first before worrying. There may have been some sort of glitch.

I voted don’t put a comment, but as a fellow autistic I get it. You did well to even attend, not knowing anyone, being out of your comfort zone and (I’m guessing) knowing that, try as you might, people don’t particularly warm to your personality/vibe straight away. Or is that just me?

I would feel the same way as you but try and resist and don't put the comment. It will probably make things worse.

Christ don't comment or read anything so extreme into this. My apps often don't let me tag everyone - they play up in all kinds of ways and sometimes I can't remember everyone's insta handle and things get missed. Ridiculous to take this so personally and make it about being airbrushed out of history.