Page 8 | Parent missing last day of primary?

Knickerbockergrolia · 2023-10-16T14:08:25+00:00

I have a week away with friends most years, which I love. This is usually towards the end of the summer term before schools break up. When my oldest left primary a couple of years ago, I made sure I was back before his last day of school. Now next year's is being planned and it looks like it will fall over the last week of term, so if I go I would miss DD's last day of primary. My instinct is to not go - finishing primary will be a big thing for her, she'll likely be going to a different school to lots of her friends, and I want to be around to see her in on her last day and give her a hug afterwards. DH thinks I'm being daft and should go. AIBU to not go? YABU - yes, she'll be fine, go on holiday YANBU - no, be there for her on her last day I know some people wouldn't entertain going away for a week from their primary aged DC at all - so the question is really aimed at those who would, since the former would consider it BU to go in any circumstances 😊

theleafandnotthetree · 17/10/2023 15:58

It looked like a very important work thing was going to fall on my daughters 'graduation' ceremony (day before last day) from primary school. I was fully prepared to miss the work thing if I had to, though it would have been very awkward. As it turns out, a few parents didn't go at all and in most cases it was one parent (my ex was also going)..But I'm still glad I went, I think it is so important to show up for these moments, even if my daughter doesn't remember it in 20 years time, the fact that I was there - and for the last day - is embedded in how she feels about the value we place on her and the things which are big in her life at a given moment. And I wanted to be there. I missed both my children's birthdays once when I was abroad for work so I am not adverse to the idea of missing things occasionally. But to miss something like end of primary for a holiday is not something I personally would do.

NumberTheory · 17/10/2023 15:59

If you really enjoyed your older DD’s last day and want some of the same memories with younger DD, then I would prioritise it over the trip. But it sounds like DH is perfectly capable of being what your DD needs to make the day special for her (and others are right that she probably won’t remember it by the time she’s doing GCSEs

newamsterdam · 17/10/2023 16:02

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Why. What does it add to have mother there? What FOR?

I can barely understand the question, tbh.

Withnailandsigh · 17/10/2023 16:14

I turned up to my DD last day of primary. She was far too bothered being dramatic with her frenemies and buggering about with the tat they’d given her to even notice I was there. I stood there for two hours doing my best to avoid having to make small talk with the other incredibly bored parents as they all took selfies of one another and piled into a limo to go to a restaurant. Last day of secondary was similar. They all have phones now, they just message each other and meet up so it’s not like they lose touch. DH will do just fine I’m sure!
I was so happy to leave my primary school I’d bloody hated every minute of it so I remember dancing through the gates singing summer of 69 ( it was infact summer of 92) by then I was a full time latchkey kid too so I went for a lovely walk and swim in the sea before heading home. Sadly of course, secondary was even worse but it was a beautiful summer believing life had just got better 🤣🤣🤣

Cosycover · 17/10/2023 16:21

I wouldn't miss such an important day for a holiday. Not a chance.

mamaduckbone · 17/10/2023 16:24

I wouldn't. But then I'm a soppy bugger and wouldn't want to miss the leavers service etc.
Surely you can talk to your friends and make the date work?

newamsterdam · 17/10/2023 18:46

Cosycover · 17/10/2023 16:21

I wouldn't miss such an important day for a holiday. Not a chance.

Why is it even vaguely important?

crumblingschools · 17/10/2023 19:04

@newamsterdam my DS played the piano in his leavers’ assembly. First time he had ever had the courage to do that. Had one of the leading parts in the Y6 play, again something out of his comfort zone. Teacher paid a lovely tribute to him and his friends. Would I rather go on holiday with my mates (which I could do another year) or watch my DS do those things. Maybe not important to you, but definitely important to me and his dad

NumberTheory · 17/10/2023 23:25

crumblingschools · 17/10/2023 19:04

@newamsterdam my DS played the piano in his leavers’ assembly. First time he had ever had the courage to do that. Had one of the leading parts in the Y6 play, again something out of his comfort zone. Teacher paid a lovely tribute to him and his friends. Would I rather go on holiday with my mates (which I could do another year) or watch my DS do those things. Maybe not important to you, but definitely important to me and his dad

This sounds like a very different scenario.

Unless OP has left huge details out of her post, she wouldn’t be watching her DD in a leading part in the year 6 play or playing piano for the leaver’s assembly, or any other staring role. Her DD will just be leaving school along with all her friends. And it will probably be emotional and fun, but it isn’t really an achievement where her parents witnessing would likely be a big deal for her.

crumblingschools · 17/10/2023 23:36

@NumberTheory OP mentions an assembly, and most leavers’ assemblies have personal touches for all the leavers

newamsterdam · 18/10/2023 09:45

crumblingschools · 17/10/2023 19:04

@newamsterdam my DS played the piano in his leavers’ assembly. First time he had ever had the courage to do that. Had one of the leading parts in the Y6 play, again something out of his comfort zone. Teacher paid a lovely tribute to him and his friends. Would I rather go on holiday with my mates (which I could do another year) or watch my DS do those things. Maybe not important to you, but definitely important to me and his dad

That's a very specific scenario. Special to you, but if my kid isn't also doing a special performance (and they wouldn;t be) why would that be special for me?

crumblingschools · 18/10/2023 10:33

@newamsterdam as stated above most leavers’ assemblies have something personal for each leaver, it’s not your average assembly. Your DC might not be doing a separate performance but may be part of a group thing or get mentioned by members of staff. It is usually a very personal assembly and I wouldn’t be dismissing it out of hand, and would certainly prioritise it over holidaying with mates (especially as that holiday is not a one off)

newamsterdam · 18/10/2023 10:35

Not in my experience they don't.

Megifer · 18/10/2023 10:49

What does that even mean? In my experience schools don't serve pizza but I imagine most others probably do 🤔

newamsterdam · 18/10/2023 10:50

It means that I don't recognise your description of the last day in primary, and I think you're confusing your very specific experience with reality.

crumblingschools · 18/10/2023 11:17

@newamsterdam I have been a parent at Y6 leavers assembly and I have been a governor at other schools leavers' assemblies, all of them have been personal to the children involved. If it is just a bog standard assembly it wouldn't be badged a leavers' assembly. Most schools will have a Y6 play/performance (depending on size of school may include other year groups). Usually start rehearsing once the joy of SATs is over

I would have thought it is much rarer for a Primary school to carry on with a nothing to see here approach in the last few days of the last term for Y6

Megifer · 18/10/2023 11:34

Because you've never experienced it everyone in this thread who has is confused with reality? Eh? 🤣

Megifer · 18/10/2023 11:39

crumblingschools · 18/10/2023 11:17

@newamsterdam I have been a parent at Y6 leavers assembly and I have been a governor at other schools leavers' assemblies, all of them have been personal to the children involved. If it is just a bog standard assembly it wouldn't be badged a leavers' assembly. Most schools will have a Y6 play/performance (depending on size of school may include other year groups). Usually start rehearsing once the joy of SATs is over

I would have thought it is much rarer for a Primary school to carry on with a nothing to see here approach in the last few days of the last term for Y6

I think its rare too tbh.

You only have to go on Facebook from about January to be blasted with "anyone know a DJ who can do a y6 leavers party in July" "anyone do hoodies please let the PTA know" "any parents who can volunteer to set the hall up after the buffet" "need a hummer for a y6 leavers DM me with prices plz xoxo" 🙄

Girlontherailreplacementbusservice · 18/10/2023 15:39

DS's leavers assembly had a photomontage of their 7 years at the school that had a personal section for each DC plus general pictures of the all the trips, special events, sports day etc.
A video that featured each child talking about their favourite memories, teachers etc. The head teacher read a little reflection about each child that had been written by the staff and there was the handing out of awards.
After school parents had arranged an activity, food and then a party.
It seems to be a fairly standard for all of the primaries around here.
There was also a y6 production the week before and year books after the leaving party and hoodies that were done in time for their residential trip
Unlike 35 years ago when we just left it was a special day. All but two of them were off to the same secondary so it wasn't a hugely emotional parting of the ways but it was a lovely day.

Doteycat · 18/10/2023 15:41

Girlontherailreplacementbusservice · 18/10/2023 15:39

DS's leavers assembly had a photomontage of their 7 years at the school that had a personal section for each DC plus general pictures of the all the trips, special events, sports day etc.
A video that featured each child talking about their favourite memories, teachers etc. The head teacher read a little reflection about each child that had been written by the staff and there was the handing out of awards.
After school parents had arranged an activity, food and then a party.
It seems to be a fairly standard for all of the primaries around here.
There was also a y6 production the week before and year books after the leaving party and hoodies that were done in time for their residential trip
Unlike 35 years ago when we just left it was a special day. All but two of them were off to the same secondary so it wasn't a hugely emotional parting of the ways but it was a lovely day.

Holy fuck, id book a holiday just to miss that tbh.

00100001 · 18/10/2023 16:12

Girlontherailreplacementbusservice · 18/10/2023 15:39

DS's leavers assembly had a photomontage of their 7 years at the school that had a personal section for each DC plus general pictures of the all the trips, special events, sports day etc.
A video that featured each child talking about their favourite memories, teachers etc. The head teacher read a little reflection about each child that had been written by the staff and there was the handing out of awards.
After school parents had arranged an activity, food and then a party.
It seems to be a fairly standard for all of the primaries around here.
There was also a y6 production the week before and year books after the leaving party and hoodies that were done in time for their residential trip
Unlike 35 years ago when we just left it was a special day. All but two of them were off to the same secondary so it wasn't a hugely emotional parting of the ways but it was a lovely day.

Sounds boring

newamsterdam · 18/10/2023 16:15

Doteycat · 18/10/2023 15:41

Holy fuck, id book a holiday just to miss that tbh.

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Same. I'd have to take the kids though, because they would hate such OTT mawkish nonsense.

Vom

Girlontherailreplacementbusservice · 18/10/2023 17:31

Why do you all assume it was mawkish? It wasn't particularly sentimental and as is the case with 11 year olds most of their memories that they brought up were far from twee. (Blood, vomit and animal poo all featured fairly prominently.) It's a small school so the whole thing lasted about 30 minutes - not sure I'd want to sit through it for every kid in a year with 5 classes but for 20 kids it was fine. If you picture it being 3 hours of unstinting sentiment then you are way off the mark.

SpudleyLass · 18/10/2023 17:32

I left primary school in 2004 and the only memory I have is of leaving the school at the end of the day, non plussed by some children crying.

I was more anxious about going on to ''big'' school than the last day OP so if you DH can be there for your 2nd and you go on holiday, I think a nice sit down with DD to talk about any fears and worries about the next few weeks would be helpful.

Last day at primary was a non event, as imo, it should be.

Megifer · 18/10/2023 17:49

It might, just might, be possible that other parents and kids like things that others don't? So those that aren't into this sort of thing can choose not to take part?

Might be something to do with things moving on from 20 years ago and people being individuals maybe? It's a head scratcher.