Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent missing last day of primary?

283 replies

Knickerbockergrolia · 16/10/2023 15:08

I have a week away with friends most years, which I love. This is usually towards the end of the summer term before schools break up. When my oldest left primary a couple of years ago, I made sure I was back before his last day of school. Now next year's is being planned and it looks like it will fall over the last week of term, so if I go I would miss DD's last day of primary. My instinct is to not go - finishing primary will be a big thing for her, she'll likely be going to a different school to lots of her friends, and I want to be around to see her in on her last day and give her a hug afterwards. DH thinks I'm being daft and should go. AIBU to not go?

YABU - yes, she'll be fine, go on holiday
YANBU - no, be there for her on her last day

I know some people wouldn't entertain going away for a week from their primary aged DC at all - so the question is really aimed at those who would, since the former would consider it BU to go in any circumstances 😊

OP posts:
HelenTherese2 · 20/10/2023 18:52

I’d go away.

No wonder kids are so anxious and have FOMO all the time when so much fuss is made nowadays about normal things.

When do kids get to do anything without their parents helicoptering and needing to be involved in literally everything they do?

RampantIvy · 20/10/2023 18:55

I agree that too much fuss is made about milestone changes these days, but it is what it is. If your DD wants you there for her last day at primary school can you get an earlier flight back?

Wickedmum · 20/10/2023 19:33

I could quite happily go away and leave the kids with their dad (my husband), I couldn’t go away the last week of term of P7, as our school has leavers assembly, afternoon Tea for the parent/P7’s leaving and they make a big deal of the P7’s coming out of school on their last day, I couldn’t miss that, most parents turn up on the last day of school pick up time.

At the end of the day you’ve got to do what you’re most comfortable doing as it’s you that’s got to live with it for ever. My ds wouldn’t have been bothered if I was there or not but I did.

Blondebrunette1 · 20/10/2023 19:42

saraclara · 16/10/2023 16:24

It goes without saying that none of the school staff will be able to go to their own kids' last day of primary. So this whole 'you have to be there or you're a selfish parent' is ludicrous.

@saraclara not the case at ours, they have leavers service, awards ceremony and party all in the evening outside of school hours specifically so parents can all attend. Most parents make it, personally I would've been really upset to miss it and my kids would notice/care, maybe others don't.

Blondebrunette1 · 20/10/2023 19:56

@Knickerbockergrolia do you what they do at school during your daughter's last week of school? For us there's a performance, an awards ceremony, a church service and a party all in the evenings, I guess if there's nothing like that it's less likely your daughter will mind. I personally wouldn't have missed it for anything. My kids would've cared (I think). Down to the individual but I know my mum can tell me about these moments in my life. I guess it depends if you think a holiday that you go on every year is more important than this once in your daughter's life time event? To you and her.

Singleandfab · 21/10/2023 13:57

Can you not explain to your friends ‘is being planned’ suggests there might mean there’s still room for negotiation - can you just say, ‘if you go for these dates, there’s a chance I can’t come but go ahead and I’ll be there next year!’ so they know and then have a conversation with your DD and DH and gauge it. You, too, might want to be there to see the other parents and the children leave if your DD is going on to another school to most of them.

NancyJoan · 21/10/2023 21:05

We had a leavers’ assembly in the last day, then all the kids and their families headed to the park with picnics/balls etc. it was lovely and I would have been sad to miss it. Any way you can change just your flight times, and go away for a shorter break?

Zoda8 · 22/10/2023 08:55

Perhaps it needs a flowchart:

  1. Will your DD be sad? If yes, stay. If no, go to 2.
  2. Even if answer to 1 is no, will you regret it more than you regret cancelling the holiday?

I am guessing the answer to 1 is no. Saying goodbye to her friends has very little to do with you. Her dad’s got this.

So it’s a tough one for your own personal preference. As a mum, you don’t want to miss a moment. As an individual, you look forward to your holiday all year. Whatever decision you make will be the right one because that’s life - you can’t not make decisions! Just don’t make decisions based on what you are afraid other people will think of you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page