To pretend to drive off and leave 3 year old

[Floatinginmycanoe]

My DD (3 next month) is being a bit tricky at the moment.

Today she refused to leave the park, and I had her baby brother in a carrier so would have struggled to pick her up. I left thinking she’d follow but she didn’t, so I got in the car and started it. She then came running over. It didn’t feel like a very good way of dealing with it but I’m not sure what else to do when she refuses to leave.

3 in school uniform ?

Exactly 🤣
It does make me smile sometimes

I wouldn’t have my 3 year old in a car park without my hands physically on her. That sounds really dangerous.

What happens when leaving her doesn’t work?
Drive down the road a bit? Hide behind a bush?

OK theres a viral video of someone doing exactly this doing the rounds on Facebook so I don't believe this is actually real (unless you are the person so desperate for internet fame that you risked your childs life).

The child ran onto the road where the car was driving away, anyone thinks thats anything other than stupid or attempts to defend it shouldn't be allowed around children.

Why did you bring this back up from two days ago?

Why do you say it isn’t real because you saw a video of someone doing something I haven’t described (as it didn’t happen?)

Sorry - not wishing to be argumentative or horrible but it’s an odd thing to do.

I completely understand your frustration but I wouldn’t recommend this. For a child of that age the thought of being abandoned or left behind is one of the most terrifying things she can conceive of. I would worry it could fundamentally alter the bond of trust between you, and leave her with the understanding that your love and the safety you provide is conditional on her behaviour. She has no way of knowing you wouldn’t really leave her.

You need to focus on a practical solution that enables you to physically remove her - buggy / sling / carrying etc. Whatever works best for you. She may well scream about it - that’s ok. Tell her you understand it’s really hard to leave something you’re enjoying, that it’s ok for her to be angry, and nonetheless you still have to leave. Then hold that boundary.

Like all things, it will pass. You just have to find a practical means of getting through without using fear of abandonment as a weapon.

You need to make it clear that if she doesn’t listen to you then you won’t take her to the park at all.

OP luckily it did work you got her home safe and sound.

We had a willful toddler who is now a very impressive grown woman whom I am very proud of. But I realise that advising you to wait 20 years and all will be well doesn't solve your immediate problems.

Ours threw herself on the ground by way of protest. If you touched her she screamed blue murder. The only things that worked for us was threatening to put her in the buggy or putting her into it. Either the threat quietened her or she was strapped into her buggy, restrained but screaming for all she was worth. Happily when winter arrived, she found it less pleasant to throw herself on the wet, muddy, cold English ground and her behaviour improved.

Things are more difficult for you because you have a baby too. We had an older, fairly well behaved son who couldn't quite believe the fuss his little sister was making. He used to copy his patient father's exasperated tone: 'Oh come on Gerty, don't be so blooming difficult.' But she didn't listen to her brother any more than she listened to us.

I wouldn’t personally… what if she panicked and ran out into the road?

That’s a very traumatising thing to do to a 3 year old.

She’ll remember you doing it to her for the rest of her life.

I’m sorry but that isn’t true. I haven’t seen the video, and from what you’ve described the child was in a road. There wasn’t a road when I did this. I genuinely have not seen this video (and I do spend a fair amount of time on social media) but it really doesn’t sound the same at all.

I done that with my daughter and she laughs about it now she’s 22. I’d love to see those saying be patient bla bla bla deal with my daughter. She was stubborn as a mule and screamed blue murder etc. I work in childcare and no amount of degrees etc teaches you how to get a stubborn child to do what’s needed lol