Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten this chicken?

165 replies

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:23

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

OP posts:
kopitiamgal · 14/10/2023 19:26

You need medical attention if your reaction is this strong. I don't even know if YABU or not because I have no clue what 'had his mitts in it' means. Was he tearing at the chicken with his bare hands?

'Shit chicken' , 'smearing poo' is a massive overreaction.

margotrose · 14/10/2023 19:26

Of course I would eat it. What a waste!

dementedpixie · 14/10/2023 19:26

Can you heat the chicken to piping hot to put your mind at rest that any bacteria that you imagine is on it has been destroyed?

cardibach · 14/10/2023 19:26

Yes I would eat it. It’s not ‘germ infested’, though obviously hand washing is a good thing. It certainly isn’t covered in poo.

CarpetLady · 14/10/2023 19:27

Yes YABU. Obviously your choice whether to eat it or not but it's not fair to blame your husband because he touched it when you know it's actually your own issue.

Let's hope the people at the deli never touch any of the food!

msssm · 14/10/2023 19:27

I couldn't eat it. I'm with you, clean hands a must when touching my food.

Littlefish · 14/10/2023 19:27

Your reaction is completely disproportionate.

Have you talked to your GP about accessing counselling for your issues around germs?

mollypuss1 · 14/10/2023 19:28

If he has poo on his hands it will be on everything he touches in the house, not just the chicken.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:28

I've had CRB previously for OCD @kopitiamgal but yes, he had his hands in the bag pulling a chicken leg out to eat.

It won't go to waste. DH will eat it all.

OP posts:
CesareBorgia · 14/10/2023 19:28

You are not being unreasonable by deciding what you do and don't want to eat.

Cooking properly would have killed any germs, but once you are 'put off' some food for whatever reason, it can be hard to contemplate eating it.

cardibach · 14/10/2023 19:28

msssm · 14/10/2023 19:27

I couldn't eat it. I'm with you, clean hands a must when touching my food.

So do you never eat a picnic? Never grab something out when you are busy?

theemmadilemma · 14/10/2023 19:29

Ah do you mean a hot cooked chicken from the counter?

Because yeah, I'd actually not be to inclined to dig in if he hadn't washed his hands.

Chicken I could cook, not so much at all.

NotAscoob · 14/10/2023 19:29

I make you right op. I would be exactly the same. Thankfully my husband is as fastidious as me when it comes to hygiene.
Washing hands is not difficult. How could people think it isn’t .

Nah . YANBU

Trampley · 14/10/2023 19:29

Yes I would eat it, but this is about you, and your very valid feelings. You mentioned OCD, what help are you getting with this?

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:30

@mollypuss1 I said that, and not even his shit, someone else's who hasn't washed their hands and held the same door etc..

OP posts:
kopitiamgal · 14/10/2023 19:31

theemmadilemma · 14/10/2023 19:29

Ah do you mean a hot cooked chicken from the counter?

Because yeah, I'd actually not be to inclined to dig in if he hadn't washed his hands.

Chicken I could cook, not so much at all.

This OP.
If he'd pulled a leg off he must've touched all of the chicken, he'd have to hold it down. Why not use a knife like a normal person?

In any case I can't stand people not hand washing before they touch common food. Your own food is fine but not what others are going to eat....

DitheringBlidiot · 14/10/2023 19:32

Even if he had washed his hands, would you have believed him when he said yes?

I'd have eaten it yes.

HarperMae · 14/10/2023 19:33

You've addressed that it's a you issue. It's definitely a you issue. If I had issues like this I'd also try and have some understanding that the people living with me are going to find that hard. What your DH done was totally normal.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:34

@msssm From a buffet, never.

I eat quite a restricted diet anyway (salad, yoghurt, chicken, granola, fruit, cheese.)

And I don't eat wheat, gluten, barley etc, so I'd never eat a sandwich or what have you out and about. And never if someone else had touched it. I have about three people who I trust to make me food.

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 14/10/2023 19:34

Sounds like you're having a rough time with your OCD x

GrumpyPanda · 14/10/2023 19:35

NotAscoob · 14/10/2023 19:29

I make you right op. I would be exactly the same. Thankfully my husband is as fastidious as me when it comes to hygiene.
Washing hands is not difficult. How could people think it isn’t .

Nah . YANBU

Pffft. I doubt anyone on here thinks handwashing is difficult, and of course he should have done it. But he's far more likely to infect himself by putting his hands near his face/eyes than to cross-contaminate the chicken.

18yr · 14/10/2023 19:37

I'v had treatment op and I'm still a bit like this in terms of hand washing and touching food! I just can't get past people touching lifts, doors etc then touching food straight away.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:37

@DitheringBlidiot He said he had washed them initially, I made him let me sniff his hands. They didn't smell of soap and the tap water was still cold so I knew he hadn't.

Sorry, I'm struggling to keep up. I have had CRB before for OCD.

DH usually isn't anywhere near my food so it's not a massive issue. We'd been to a shopping centre which I find over stimulating from a germ perspective anyway so I was already up in the gods for being twitchy.

OP posts:
Letitgonowgr · 14/10/2023 19:38

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:28

I've had CRB previously for OCD @kopitiamgal but yes, he had his hands in the bag pulling a chicken leg out to eat.

It won't go to waste. DH will eat it all.

I’d assume the bits he touched he ate! Given your reaction, you’d have been better cooking your own chicken as who knows if someone touched that chicken before bagging it up, or someone who hasn’t washed their hands touched the bag you then touched! Yes he should wash hands before eating but you need to work on your OCD.

Strugglingtodomybest · 14/10/2023 19:42

You've admitted in your op that it's your problem, so yes, YABU, but at least you know that and can work on it. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, it must be hard.