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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten this chicken?

165 replies

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:23

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

OP posts:
msssm · 14/10/2023 22:07

PurpleChrayne · 14/10/2023 20:29

Grow up, OP.

Nasty

AutumnCrow · 14/10/2023 22:08

Salvagehunter · 14/10/2023 22:05

I'm not vegetarian but I'm sad a chicken has died for you to not eat it and throw it away

aaaaaaagh

Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 14/10/2023 22:08

You sniffed his hands ???!!!!!

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:09

cardibach · 14/10/2023 19:28

So do you never eat a picnic? Never grab something out when you are busy?

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I use hand sanitiser if I really can't wash my hands or use a napkin to hold the food

cardibach · 14/10/2023 22:11

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:09

I use hand sanitiser if I really can't wash my hands or use a napkin to hold the food

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I never used sanitiser in this country before t(e pandemic (used it in India at the advice of the tour company) and haven’t used it since the end of lockdown. I don’t usually have napkins with me when I just buy a snack. I’m not dead yet.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:11

Garman · 14/10/2023 20:11

You haven’t much to be complaining about if you’ll just leave perfectly good food go to waste for a reason like this. He didn’t rub his (relatively clean) hands on every inch of the chicken I presume, unless he has a cooked chicken fetish.

I don't think you understand OCD

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:11

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 21:59

You don't think telling someone (who isn't your toddler) you need to smell their hands is controlling?! You do you, however with your caveat there's only 3 people you 'let' cook for you, it sounds like you think it's an honour and that you are special?

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😂 I think lying about washing your hands (when not a toddler) is more childish.

No, it's not an honour. But why do you use the idea that "I think I'm special" as a put down? Is it that you mean you think, that I think, that it's special to let someone cook for me? Not really, it means I (irrationality) trust their cooking/food prep/hygiene. It's not helpful to me at all.

I cook for myself (and others) because I like to cook, I like to make others happy and it avoids the issue of my food hygiene issues. Which I accept are real problems, I know it's entirely unreasonable and hold my (freshly washed) hands up to it. 😂

OP posts:
LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 22:12

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2023 22:05

That's what happens when you can't trust people not to poison you - I trust DP, a mate who is a chef and one restaurant (where the owner is coeliac).

You can't even trust things labelled gluten free, so, no, it's not being special/bestowing an honour, its self preservation.

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@NeverDropYourMooncup if you're coeliac I'm surprised you're putting someone with irrational fears alongside the significant risks to cross contamination of serious allergens.

18yr · 14/10/2023 22:12

Op, it always goes this way whenever someone posts about their OCD. I think because so many people say 'I'm a bit OCD, I like my X to match' it's seen as a trivial thing. Reality is it's a serious mental health condition. I really wanted to kill myself last year because of it. The support available is near non existent.

Darkmode2 · 14/10/2023 22:13

I have pretty bad ocd myself but I'd never treat my dp like that

SarahLKelp · 14/10/2023 22:14

Why did he smear poo on it? Of course you can't eat it if he's done that!

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:15

I am genuinely surprised at how many people think it is ok to go out and about to a shopping centre, use the toilets there and then come home and start preping food without washing your hands.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:16

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2023 22:05

That's what happens when you can't trust people not to poison you - I trust DP, a mate who is a chef and one restaurant (where the owner is coeliac).

You can't even trust things labelled gluten free, so, no, it's not being special/bestowing an honour, its self preservation.

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Yep! I've got a few mild intolerances (mild in that they don't cause a large allergic reaction, but they cause me discomfort and irritation that can last for a week or so each time.

I've been gluten free for the best part of a year now, DH asked me yesterday why I wasn't having any toast. I've not eaten bread since February 😂

OP posts:
blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:16

cardibach · 14/10/2023 22:11

I never used sanitiser in this country before t(e pandemic (used it in India at the advice of the tour company) and haven’t used it since the end of lockdown. I don’t usually have napkins with me when I just buy a snack. I’m not dead yet.

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That's great good for you. I have a weak immune system.

TomatoSandwiches · 14/10/2023 22:16

I think your husband is disgusting for going at the chicken like that especially knowing you've bought it and how you feel about it.
YANBU, he's a selfish greedy bastard.

Thelmsie · 14/10/2023 22:17

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This post has been removed from the site at the user's request.

StarlightLime · 14/10/2023 22:19

How did he "have his mitts in it"? I'm imagining him tearing the whole thing apart with his bare hands and shovelling it straight into his gob like Henry VII.
But he surely just took a piece to eat and didn't actually maul the entire thing?

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:19

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 21:59

You don't think telling someone (who isn't your toddler) you need to smell their hands is controlling?! You do you, however with your caveat there's only 3 people you 'let' cook for you, it sounds like you think it's an honour and that you are special?

Show quote history

I don't think it does sound like the poster thinks it's an honor I think it's that their OCD is so bad that there are only 3 people who they trust enough to eat the food they make. I mean I wouldn't be surprised if DH is now not seen as "safe" and I really hope this doesn't set your OCD back OP.

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 22:20

SarahLKelp · 14/10/2023 22:14

Why did he smear poo on it? Of course you can't eat it if he's done that!

Did he actually smear poo on it? Or does op just believe he did?
I'd have to seriously consider my relationship if dh purposely smeared poo on food!

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:21

StarlightLime · 14/10/2023 22:19

How did he "have his mitts in it"? I'm imagining him tearing the whole thing apart with his bare hands and shovelling it straight into his gob like Henry VII.
But he surely just took a piece to eat and didn't actually maul the entire thing?

No he did, literally, both hands in the bag, one holding the chicken and tore the leg off. It was quite Henry VIII-esque actually 😂

OP posts:
Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 14/10/2023 22:21

Of course he didn’t smear poo on it ! It’s op’s ocd talking

WillyWonkaBlues · 14/10/2023 22:22

Sorry, no way I’d eat that.

cardibach · 14/10/2023 22:22

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:16

That's great good for you. I have a weak immune system.

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Well that’s not entirely relevant to a thread about what would generally be ok with people then, is it? If you had said ‘I wouldn’t eat it because I have a weak immune system’ I might not have responded. You didn’t. So now it seems a bit ‘convenient’ (ie I’m not sure you really have).

trampoline123 · 14/10/2023 22:23

I'm really fussy with food and won't eat something if it's about to go out of date, if it doesn't smell quite right or it gives me a bad feeling - I get how you feel, it's your thing.

I'd eat that though, not many bodily fluids me and my partner haven't already shared.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:23

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This post has been removed from the site at the user's request.

The answer isn't yes. It's some would some wouldnt.