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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten this chicken?

165 replies

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:23

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

OP posts:
Ribena20 · 14/10/2023 20:17

I'm with you OP and I've never thought there was anything weird or unreasonable about my behaviour until I read the replies on here. However, probably explains why COVID was rife if this is people's attitudes to handwashing!

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 14/10/2023 20:20

If ds3 wandered in from the garden with dusty hands and touched my sandwich...I'd brush it off and keep eating 😂

That's not the same.

Normalsizedsalad · 14/10/2023 20:23

I would eat it.

You do seem to have general issues not just with OCD but about food unless the gluten is medical reasons. I loath "cheat meal" term...
So yes YABU, but in some way understandably

I also taste grapes and stuff in markets. Immunity building🙈

Inertia · 14/10/2023 20:27

He needs to go out and buy you another one.

ittakes2 · 14/10/2023 20:27

I have OCD but I would have cut a piece deeper into the chicken that his dirty mitts had not touched.
But I don't think you are being unreasonable. After years of OCD therapy I think the rule of thumb with hand washing is wash before you eat!

PurpleChrayne · 14/10/2023 20:29

Grow up, OP.

BeetleDeuce · 14/10/2023 20:30

I’d feel the same but I’ve worked in kitchens and hygiene is drilled into me. YANBU!

AutumnCrow · 14/10/2023 20:31

FarEast · 14/10/2023 20:08

What an extreme overreaction. And such a waste. Just carve the chicken and re cook your portion - get it up to the heat you’d use to cook it in the first place. That’ll kill off bacteria.

But really, get some help for mental illness.

It's OK. Her husband will eat it all.

The OP is well aware of her 'mental illness' as you put it.

jannier · 14/10/2023 20:32

So are you saying he doesn't wash his hands after the loo or just not before cooking....which is not great but in the scheme of things not likely highly to give you a bug as a once off.
Do you wash your hands every time you touch your face etc?

AutumnCrow · 14/10/2023 20:32

PurpleChrayne · 14/10/2023 20:29

Grow up, OP.

She has OCD.

AutumnCrow · 14/10/2023 20:33

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

From the OP's opening post ^^

PlasticineKing · 14/10/2023 20:35

I think if he knew this is how you would feel about it, he was v U and you’re not. Also if he fibbed about it.

In the bigger scheme, you probably do need to het some extra help with this.

Catusrusty · 14/10/2023 20:35

No I would eat a cold chicken if it had been manhandled by someone with unwashed mitts. If he's dirty enough to do that, did he bother to wash his hands after going to the toilet?

You're not being at all unreasonable, we carry all sorts of bacterial on our bodies, it's seriously poor hygiene to not wash your hands before prepping food. Or frankly before eating food.

Mind you, I see lots of people leaving toilets without washing their hands. Clearly lots of people are pretty lax on here, but no you must be mentally ill if you don't fancy a dose of coli, c difficile or salmonella. Or perhaps a nice dose of h pylori

Cheeesus · 14/10/2023 20:37

I’m confused about what you want from this thread. You have a germ phobic OCD. Are you trying to find out what people without OCD would do? Eat the chicken in most cases.

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 14/10/2023 20:40

Yabu but you have ocd so it isn’t easy for you to be rational about it and isn’t your fault

MumblesParty · 14/10/2023 20:40

I’m surprised you’re asking if YABU, when you know you have a psychiatric illness that affects your judgement in these situations. Given that you have fairly severe OCD, then it’s not surprising you won’t eat it. But by non-OCD standards, it’s very strange.

poorlyarm · 14/10/2023 20:41

Isn't it your DHS germy hands that are the prob? Do you let them touch you?

Seems a waste. You could blast it in the microwave/oven to kill any 'bugs'?

bonzaitree · 14/10/2023 20:45

You’re sniffing peoples hands woman. That’s not normal.

junbean · 14/10/2023 20:47

Well it's true. It's a probable fact what we pick up on our hands. I can't imagine any adult not washing their hands since Covid. How?? If anyone disagrees they are disgusting. It doesn't take OCD to realize this.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 20:55

@DrinkFeckArseBrick he works with prisoners. Hands on. But he hasn't been at work today. He's been to the gym and we've been shopping.

@FarEast & @Garman Why would it go to waste? DH will eat it all.

You're absolutely right @Garman , I'm very fortunate generally. I've been through it previously, this particular week is a remembrance week which often sits heavy on me.

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 14/10/2023 20:57

You obviously struggle with germs and OCD. That is your battle and I can understand why you would be reluctant, however this is disproportionate. You actually made your DP hold out his hands to be sniffed like a toddler! I'd have serious thought about continuing that sort of relationship if I were him, how infantilising.

NoHeavenNoMore · 14/10/2023 21:02

YANBU I couldn't eat it either. I won't eat anything my other half passes me nor will I let him pass our daughter food unless I know he's just washed his hands and not touched his phone in between.
I antibac my phone every time I get back into the house having been out and wash my hands before I eat anything or touch any food, or if I touch a bin, or the front door handle, etc. Maybe I should seek help too.

IrritableVowel · 14/10/2023 21:06

I would have eaten it, DH touching it wouldn't have bothered me.

However, if my DH had issues around food and OCD and needed me to wash my hands, I would like to think I am considerate enough of his mental wellbeing that I would do it.

It's not like good hand hygiene is an unreasonable request, or a bad habit to have.

So I think he wasn't being kind to you OP

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 21:07

@OrlandointheWilderness but he did actually lie about having just washed his hands, which is really childish from him I think. I'd be less likely to sniff my DCs hands as he's very pro hand washing.

@jannier I do generally yes. I wash my hands a lot, enough for other people to occasionally notice and comment.

@Normalsizedsalad I think a penny has just dropped for me. I do have "control issues" with food for myself. I'm now wondering if it's an arm of the OCD tickling me.

Thank you everyone, I can't tag you all. I do really appreciate all the replies. I have diagnosed OCD but it's been a while since I've had a very visceral reaction to something, but I'm rarely challenged with it. I suppose I was wondering what non-OCDers would do, or how they'd react. It's been an education.

OP posts:
AnotherCountryMummy · 14/10/2023 21:08

I'm sorry you missed out on your chicken that you were looking forward to, OP. I hope you manage to tame your OCD.