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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten this chicken?

165 replies

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:23

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

OP posts:
Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:43

He had one hand in the chicken and the other removing the leg. Which is fine obviously, but I can't eat that if he's not washed his hands. He's touched shops, doors (specifically toilet doors), keys, his phone etc. @Letitgonowgr I usually do all th cooking. The deli chicken was a treat so I didn't have to. They come out of the rotisserie piping and go straight into a sealed bag. If its been done properly, nobody would be touching it with bare hands because it's too hot.

OP posts:
blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 19:44

I would not eat it. I would also never trust any food he prepared again. But my partner and I both have food hygiene certificates so that might be why

Jellycats4life · 14/10/2023 19:45

Be kind to yourself. Maybe it was the OCD talking, but it was still gross of him not to wash his hands.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 19:46

Your reaction may be stronger than others due to your OCD but no, no one should be eating that chicken now. That's basic food hygiene.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 19:47

Also, given that he must know about your OCD, it's very nasty of him to lie about it

DitheringBlidiot · 14/10/2023 19:47

I'm sorry it seems like you're having a really rough time of it at the moment, but your husband is has the patience of a saint for letting you sniff his hands.

This is obviously about more than the chicken, have you got any coping skills or mechanisms you can use until you are able to speak to someone about it?

Strugglingtodomybest · 14/10/2023 19:49

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 19:46

Your reaction may be stronger than others due to your OCD but no, no one should be eating that chicken now. That's basic food hygiene.

If we followed this rule in our house, no-one would ever eat!

Cowlover89 · 14/10/2023 19:49

Yabu

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/10/2023 19:49

Unless he is a bin man or spent the last hour cleaning toilets or drains then yabu.

I've been known to eat food I've dropped on the floor. In public places shock horror.

As a veggie I find the idea of eating meat far more repugnant than someone with unwashed hands having took a pick out of my food. In the nicest possible way, have a look at the conditions the animals are kept and slaughtered in and your DH not washing hands is literally nothing compared to that.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 14/10/2023 19:51

I don't have OCD, but I do expect food hygiene. He is gross.

Missingmyusername · 14/10/2023 19:56

Had he actually used /been to the loo and not washed his hands… yuck. He should’ve washed his hands.

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 19:56

Why would it have poo on it?!

But anyway as long as he eats it it’s not going to waste so do what you want. Maybe get some more help as your reaction is quite extreme and these things do tend to escalate.

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 19:57

Missingmyusername · 14/10/2023 19:56

Had he actually used /been to the loo and not washed his hands… yuck. He should’ve washed his hands.

No, she’s exaggerating.

silvertoil · 14/10/2023 19:57

I think you know this is a you thing. Sorry you're struggling but identifying this as an exaggerated response is important if you want to get better.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:59

@Missingmyusername as @theduchessofspork said, it's an exaggeration. He'd been to the toilet and washed his hands while we were out. But then touched many things...and then pawed my chicken.

OP posts:
7Worfs · 14/10/2023 20:03

OP you clearly are aware you have OCD inclinations, but tbh I wouldn’t eat that chicken either - I’d be quite disgusted.

I’m sure many relaxed posters wouldn’t eat it if it was some random’s dirty hands either, they only find it tolerable because it’s familiar dirty hands.

ahhmyhair · 14/10/2023 20:03

OP, I would absolutely NOT eat it either Envy vile

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/10/2023 20:07

What was your husband doing beforehand / what does he do for a job?

If he is a sewage drains plumber and hasn't washed his hands all day, or doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet then I'm with you.

If he washed his hands when going to the toilet / doing anything like cleaning out pets cages, and works from home all day, then yabu

FarEast · 14/10/2023 20:08

What an extreme overreaction. And such a waste. Just carve the chicken and re cook your portion - get it up to the heat you’d use to cook it in the first place. That’ll kill off bacteria.

But really, get some help for mental illness.

Garman · 14/10/2023 20:11

You haven’t much to be complaining about if you’ll just leave perfectly good food go to waste for a reason like this. He didn’t rub his (relatively clean) hands on every inch of the chicken I presume, unless he has a cooked chicken fetish.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 14/10/2023 20:11

So like a pp said.

If John down the road started pulling a chicken apart with his bare hands and feeding you, would you eat it?

Soubriquet · 14/10/2023 20:13

Yep Yabu.

MillieVonPinkle · 14/10/2023 20:14

It wouldn't even occur to me that there was a problem. I'd have been happy eating it.

I encourage the dc to wash their hands before eating but only because 'you should'. I don't actually care if that makes sense.

If ds3 wandered in from the garden with dusty hands and touched my sandwich...I'd brush it off and keep eating 😂

Your body needs germs 🤷‍♀️ I'm very, very rarely ill, same with dh and dc so my lax standards don't seem to have done any harm so far.

Dutchesss · 14/10/2023 20:14

I don't have food OCD but I wouldn't have eaten it either. I don't think communal food should be touched with bare hands and at the very least they should be washed.
If I was put off a food I wouldn't eat it. What's the point in forcing down food you won't enjoy.

Lotta0 · 14/10/2023 20:16

Yuck, he's come home and put his hands all over the hooked chicken without washing them.
That's gross. Not you. I'm not a big germ phobe but coming home abd not washing hands after touching all the door handles and escalator belts at a shopping centre and then touching communal food?!? Yuck