To not have eaten this chicken?

[ShitChicken]

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

I grew up in an era where we made mud pies (and ate a fair bit) and spent a lot of time outdoors. I am not germ phobic

However, I would not have eaten that chicken either

YABU in that your reaction is over the top as you acknowledge driven by your OCD and food issues. Those aren’t normal responses to food and hygiene

YANBU to be mad at your DH because he must know all of that, that this is an issue for you, and as a loving and supportive partner he should be doing everything he can to support you. Which means washing his hands before touching your food.

I wouldn’t eat it. Hands washed before touching any food I eat.

I would eat that, no problem. I have never ever had food poisoning from anything I have prepared/eaten at home. When I was having an anxiety flare-up though, I would have been anxious - it was my anxiety talking.

This says all I need to, plus you sound controlling

I think he has the patience of a saint. Asking can you sniff his hands???!!!! I would never allow this. I feel for you, as you are obviously struggling, but this is not appropriate behaviour.

Why am I controlling @LorraineBainMcFly? I'm not stopping him eating the chicken. I just wouldn't eat it myself.

I knew he was lying about washing his hands. If he hadn't been lying, I'd have apologised and been suitably shamefaced. As it was, he was lying, which is problematic for me with food,.some times.worse than other times.

The names are clearly hyperbole. He agreed with me once I explained why I couldn't touch the food.

@Snugglemonkey Even though he was lying? He could have just said "no, I've not washed them since we got in, sorry" and I'd just not have eaten the chicken. He was lying, tried to fluff it and failed.

Completely understand, I wouldn't eat it either. And also I totally get that real feeling of disappointment - when you're really looking forward to something and then realising that it's now shit is hugely disappointing!

Honestly I think it's a tricky one because Mumsnet hygiene standards are another level, so I really think if you asked people on the street you might get a different answer. I would absolutely eat chicken my husband had his hands in with the daily life germs on it, in fact I have and all was fine.

Your reaction is completely over the top but you know that. Your DH told a white lie so that you could enjoy the chicken.

Yes. The very action of asking to sniff someone's hands is not OK. I would not put up with it. I think it is controlling behaviour.

Now, lying is another thing many will not tolerates and you do not have to, but I would consider why he lied.

Slightly OT, but what is CRB for OCD op?

id have eaten the chicken, but I don’t have OCD so I can see it from your side.

I feel so sorry for you as I can hear the OCD talking. I would have happily eaten in and have never had food poisoning from anything I’ve eaten at home. Indeed I might kiss DH or my DSs hands, noses etc without thought of where they’d been!

I wouldn’t call you unreasonable because it’s your ocd but you should get some more therapy if it’s still controlling you to this extent- also your dh shouldn’t lie to you but maybe he’s exasperated

Why did he even need to touch it? I use a carving knife and fork when cutting chicken.

NB I too would be uncomfortable about it (although I'd still eat it after heating it sufficiently). I always wash my hands and also wear gloves if I need to touch raw meat (eg making koftas, marinades etc)

@BakedTattie it's autocorrect 😂 it's supposed to be CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) I've been filling in DBS (CRB as they were previously known) checks this week.

, I made him let me sniff his hands. They didn't smell of soap and the tap water was still cold so I knew he hadn't.
However mentally unwell you are this is off the scale abusive.

Behave. Abusive? I know I need to get a grip, but having been in a genuinely abusive relationship, saying, in jest, let me sniff your hands, is not abuse.

(He didn't need to actually let me sniff his hands, I knew he was lying already)

You don't think telling someone (who isn't your toddler) you need to smell their hands is controlling?! You do you, however with your caveat there's only 3 people you 'let' cook for you, it sounds like you think it's an honour and that you are special?

From your other posts I doubt it was 'in jest'! And also from them I imagine the people around you are on eggshells with your rules and demands.

This!

That's what happens when you can't trust people not to poison you - I trust DP, a mate who is a chef and one restaurant (where the owner is coeliac).

You can't even trust things labelled gluten free, so, no, it's not being special/bestowing an honour, its self preservation.

I'm not vegetarian but I'm sad a chicken has died for you to not eat it and throw it away