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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten this chicken?

165 replies

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 19:23

Long story short, I'd bought a deli chicken for tea. I'd had a really busy day and haven't had anything to eat yet. We got home and I nipped next door to collect a package they'd accepted while we were out.

By the time I got in, DH had opened the chicken and had his mitts in it. I said "have you washed your hands?" He initially tried to say he had earlier, but admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in. Bleurgh, bleurgh and bleurgh again.

He KNOWS I'm funny about hand washing, he knows I'm even funnier about hand washing and food. I accept this is a me thing, but I say I now can't eat the chicken.

As far as I'm concerned, it's contaminated. It's germ infested chicken now. He gets mildly miffed with me refusing to eat the shit chicken, this is more because he feels bad about (as far as I'm concerned) smearing poo on food and expecting me to eat it.

I'm moderately precious about what I eat anyway, having recently lost a not insignificant amount of weight. I was looking forward to this chicken. It was part of a cheat meal, I really wanted some chicken skin.

AIBU?

(I'm writing this and realising that I'm clearly having a bit of an OCD flare up.)

OP posts:
Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:25

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 22:20

Did he actually smear poo on it? Or does op just believe he did?
I'd have to seriously consider my relationship if dh purposely smeared poo on food!

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Of course he didn't. I don't believe he did.

But in my brain, he's been around a shopping centre, to a toilet, washed his hands, but then touched the door of the toilet (many people don't wash their hands at all after going to the toilet) touched the road crossing button, touched the car keys, the car etc.

It's just touching too many things that other people have touched. It feels like, to me, I would be eating food that all those people have touched.

OP posts:
blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:26

cardibach · 14/10/2023 22:22

Well that’s not entirely relevant to a thread about what would generally be ok with people then, is it? If you had said ‘I wouldn’t eat it because I have a weak immune system’ I might not have responded. You didn’t. So now it seems a bit ‘convenient’ (ie I’m not sure you really have).

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I wouldn't eat it anyway! No one should be eating it. It's really bad practice.

And I am a person!

Thelmsie · 14/10/2023 22:26

This reply has been deleted

This post has been removed from the site at the user's request.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:27

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 22:20

Did he actually smear poo on it? Or does op just believe he did?
I'd have to seriously consider my relationship if dh purposely smeared poo on food!

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OP's OCD is exaggerating and they know this. But yes there was potentially poo from the public loos on his hands if he didn't wash them when getting home.

Gowlett · 14/10/2023 22:28

I worked in a supermarket once, and some of the kids who worked in the deli never ever changed that glove…

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:28

This reply has been deleted

This post has been removed from the site at the user's request.

Yes, I understand that - it makes sense to me. Just unfortunately that is the answer here, some people would and some people wouldn't.

Marmalady75 · 14/10/2023 22:30

I completely get the disgust you feel about people touching food with dirty hands.
I’d also be annoyed that he couldn’t even wait 2 minutes for you to pop next door and back.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:30

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:25

Of course he didn't. I don't believe he did.

But in my brain, he's been around a shopping centre, to a toilet, washed his hands, but then touched the door of the toilet (many people don't wash their hands at all after going to the toilet) touched the road crossing button, touched the car keys, the car etc.

It's just touching too many things that other people have touched. It feels like, to me, I would be eating food that all those people have touched.

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I imagine this wouldn't have been helped by all the covid "don't touch anything, wash shopping" etc. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds tough.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:30

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:19

I don't think it does sound like the poster thinks it's an honor I think it's that their OCD is so bad that there are only 3 people who they trust enough to eat the food they make. I mean I wouldn't be surprised if DH is now not seen as "safe" and I really hope this doesn't set your OCD back OP.

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He's not been "food safe" for a while. I usually do all the food prep. We generally eat at different times anyway so it's not usually an issue that comes up regularly.

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 14/10/2023 22:30

Yes, YABU.

OCD is, by definition, unreasonable.

lifeofsty · 14/10/2023 22:31

Where does the poo come in in relation to the chicken?

Of course YANBU, it's your decision to eat the chicken or not. I just feel sad for you that your life is limited by this.

I totally get the hand washing - I do this when I get in and I make sure my kids to it too but it wouldn't stop me eating food they'd touched with unwashed hands.

JamieFrasersBitOnTheSide · 14/10/2023 22:33

I don’t have OCD but hand washing before touching or serving food is BASIC hygiene.

admitted shortly after that he hadn't washed them since he got in I wouldn’t have touched the food either, that’s just vile. If he can’t be trusted to wash his hands before handling food I wouldn’t be eating anything he cooked. However, you never know how the hygiene is with pre prepared food either. It’s absolutely nothing to do with OCD to know basic food hygiene.

anon0007 · 14/10/2023 22:33

I couldn't eat it.

Most people rub their nose, face, have a scratch, pet the dog, etc.

TigerDroveAgain · 14/10/2023 22:34

just eat the chicken. If you're not ill, your fears were unfounded. if you have a dodgy tummy. they may have been. but this is too much angst.

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:36

TigerDroveAgain · 14/10/2023 22:34

just eat the chicken. If you're not ill, your fears were unfounded. if you have a dodgy tummy. they may have been. but this is too much angst.

Physically couldn't have done it. Couldn't even touch it. Never mind put it in my mouth.

Would it have made me ill? Highly, highly unlikely. Could I have eaten it? Not a chance.

OP posts:
MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 14/10/2023 22:36

ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:30

He's not been "food safe" for a while. I usually do all the food prep. We generally eat at different times anyway so it's not usually an issue that comes up regularly.

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Food safe or you safe?
I'm sorry that this is how you think, it must be exhausting. Did something happen to kick off all this irrational thought? Covid was a dick.

MumblesParty · 14/10/2023 22:36

Why did you post in AIBU OP? Are you genuinely not sure, and wanting the opinions of others? Because you seem pretty certain you were correct to not eat the chicken. In fact, you seem to be enjoying the attention and focus on your OCD. Most people with OCD are upset by it. You seem almost proud of yours.

blanketsmell · 14/10/2023 22:36

TigerDroveAgain · 14/10/2023 22:34

just eat the chicken. If you're not ill, your fears were unfounded. if you have a dodgy tummy. they may have been. but this is too much angst.

Of course it's angst. The poster has OCD.

Dedsec2023 · 14/10/2023 22:38

i usually prefer to wash my hands before eating,

Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:42

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 14/10/2023 22:36

Food safe or you safe?
I'm sorry that this is how you think, it must be exhausting. Did something happen to kick off all this irrational thought? Covid was a dick.

Show quote history

I don't like him touching my food. He brings me cups of tea and I can't drink them, he has no idea I don't.

He's a genuinely lovely bloke, we've been through a lot together and we're very lucky to have each other and our DS.

It's baby loss awareness week which has unseated me, I think. And I've got a lot on, responsibility and planning wise, in terms of work and also the voluntary roles I have. Although I've always suffered with OCD, especially during COVID I struggled intensely in the beginning. Its generally been manageable. I should have a bit of time to breathe out in the next couple of weeks so hopefully that will even me out a bit. Thank you for your kindness.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShitChicken · 14/10/2023 22:50

MumblesParty · 14/10/2023 22:36

Why did you post in AIBU OP? Are you genuinely not sure, and wanting the opinions of others? Because you seem pretty certain you were correct to not eat the chicken. In fact, you seem to be enjoying the attention and focus on your OCD. Most people with OCD are upset by it. You seem almost proud of yours.

Edited

Of course I think I'm "correct" not to eat the chicken. I'm also self aware enough to know that it's not a rational correctness.

You seem to think that my being able to make light of it is pride. It's a really debilitating thing to deal with, but it's a daily thing for me. But I'm not sat here upset about it, I have other things I could be upset about.

I asked because I wanted opinions, and it's been fairly split, lots of posters (without OCD).wouldn't have eaten it either.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2023 22:53

In fairness, I dont have OCD and I would have been a bit twitchy. Depends on what the day had entailed. Popped to my mothers, had a cup of tea, got into my car and come home? No problem. But a day out in a shopping mall, even worse if it involved public transport? Absolutely not.

I have no germ related phobias but washing your hands before touching or preparing food is a given surely?! I bet he wouldnt take the bin bag out and then eat without washing his hands, and he would have encountered more germs in the shopping mall than on your rubbish!

So many people dont wash after going to the loo, its disgusting. My sister is so funny though...if she is in the loo and she hears someone leave without washing their hands she will shout (from the safety of her locked cubicle) "Wash your hands your dirty cow!" Grin

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2023 22:58

I am also funny about who's food I will eat. Not funny in restaurants though, depending on the chain/company. I have worked in many restaurants and the hygiene level, thanks to the law, is higher than in most peoples homes. The companies that take it seriously REALLY take it seriously, and I have a list of those that do!

Generally speaking, consistently high hygiene ratings year on year is a good sign to look for. Peaks and troughs between a 2 one year and 4/5 the next, back down to a 3......not so much.

WeWereInParis · 14/10/2023 22:59

Yes, clearly you are having an OCD flare up as you say.

For context, I have severe emetophobia (fear of vomiting), which at times has been crippling so I do to some extent understand how you must be feeling about it. My emetophobia causes me to do plenty of irrational things, so even though in this case I'd have eaten the chicken no problem, I'm in no position to call you unreasonable.

LorraineBainMcFly · 14/10/2023 23:01

He brings me cups of tea and I can't drink them, he has no idea I don't.
what's he doing to your tea?

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