Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

No she didn't! She offered it as an alternative that's all.

Off topic but you eat really early.

I would compromise and plan it for tomorrow. If you're trying to save money, make your own.

So he should have rang ahead and asked, not come home and announced he was getting takeaway when his 5yo had already eaten.

Tbh I think OP undermined dh first.

"I'm getting pizza" - "no you cannot"

Who made you decider of all things OP?

😂😂😂

Yeah, but once he did know, he didn’t backtrack. Presumably partly as he fancied pizza more than the pasta, and partly as he didn’t want to deal with DD tantrum.

@HipTeens Plan what for tomorrow? They went and got the pizza and it’s now just been finished

@SecondUsername4me absolutely with you on this, Christ I’ve made dinner before then dh has come home and said bugger it let’s get takeout and sometimes we’ve all said yes!

This exact situation would happen at ours, dh walk in say who fancies take out, kids shout yay even if they’ve already eaten, the difference would be I’d say oh I’ve eaten so just grab a small one! It’s not up to me to police him; the kids eat what I cook and if they want to squeeze some fun in there too why should I stop that?! I don’t think anyone was undermined, just no clear communication.

But did you not say you'd both eaten so ge was getting reheated lonely pasta?
Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.

Why? Why does he need someone's permission to buy himself a pizza? The only thing he could have done ringing ahead js say "thanks, put mine in the fridge, I'll eat it tomorrow I'm fancying a pizza"

So what?!

Well she’s 5 and if she’s been told she’s getting pizza and actually got her shoes on ready to go then I think if you then say no, it’s only going to go one way isn’t it. No harm in her having a slice and your DH can have the pasta tomorrow.

If you’re more concerned about how she speaks to you generally, then you and your DH need a proper chat about this when you’re both calm. I can see how he probably fancied pizza and didn’t want a massive meltdown as soon as he’d walked through the door, it’s not a nice way to start the weekend.

Here’s a radical suggestion: he could have asked the OP, who does all the cooking, if she’d already cooked something before announcing he was getting pizza.

Yes too late now, but next time I'd say, oh let's have it tomorrow, I've done pasta.

Thank fuck someone else is on the same page as me. We are all obviously entitled to our own opinion on this, but I was starting to wonder whether I was in some sort of twilight zone!

Exactly! It sounds like he has no say in what they eat day to day and the one time he decides to go off menu it blows up into a massive row.

But what does this achieve? He doesn't need to ask her permission to be allowed to buy a bloody pizza he js a grown man.

@HipTeens I did, which started a huge meltdown and Dd speaking to me like crap and then them going and getting the pizza anyway

But you said you told her off for speaking to you the way she did yes? So she shouted at you, and the punishment was a telling off. Done.

Now to pizza.

@Inkpotlover No say in it??? He can have all the say in what he wants and cook for once maybe

So why didn't you put your foot down and say you won't be spoken to like that and she shouldn't be rewarded for bad behaviour?

I don't see the issue - he is a grown up so can have what he likes for tea. Why is the pasta wasted? It was going to be reheated tonight so why not tomorrow?!

Your daughter sounds bratty though

@Inkpotlover Please read the post…I did and was totally overrides when Dh then took her to get pizza, so I was left feeling like a total knob who no one has any respect for

Dear God. This is an issue?

I do 90% of the cooking in our house and before we do the weekly food shop I meal plan and let my family know what I'm planning in case of any objections. It's called communication.

It's not about getting permission, it's about basic manners and common sense.

If he'd rung ahead, he would have known that his dinner was already on the table and, most importantly, that his 5yo had already eaten hers (and therefore wouldn't be able to eat a pizza). If he still really wanted one himself, he could have arranged to get it once the 5yo was in bed - avoiding a massive tantrum and OP looking like the bad guy.