Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

It’s called ‘compromise’?

Why does just he get to decide?

Anyway - he’s apologised, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think sometimes in the heat of the moment things can get blown out of proportion. Today's pasta could be saved for tomorrows dinner for your DH vice versa the pizza for you.

What I don't get is eating before DH gets home. If it's a time factor feed DD and wait for DH. Bottle of wine and a pasta dish - what's not to like?

Erm because its his dinner.

Its not compromise is it if you get your own way about what he eats?

Of course he's apologised, probably wants a quiet life. But as others have said, if my OH acted like OP I'd be out like a shot.

Same. I couldn't eat my evening meal at 5pm. Od be in the kitchen scouting for crisps by 7.30.

If he cooked once or twice, I might agree with you. But he literally never does.

The OP’s even cooked the next night. More fool her, to be honest.

@Chocolatewarerfalls

I cooked myself tea tonight. It was a burrito bowl. It looked OK tbf. I served it up and was like ugghhhh and ordered myself a pizza feast. Sometimes it happens.

Tip for pasta not going dry (so you can reheat in the next day), run any leftover pasta through cold water before putting it in the fridge. Makes a big difference.

@Chocolatewarerfalls In this description of the run of event I would be very annoyed at him undermining you.
Kids need to learn that plans change & we can’t always have what we want even if it had been promised.
Also her having a melt down will pass but giving in to her to prevent a melt down will set a president which will just lead to more & more extreme melt downs.
You & dad need to be on the same page or she is going to walk all over you both.
Your partner is also teaching her disrespectfulness by his attitude to you already cooking & him being unwilling to back you up & tell 5yr old you will have pizza tomorrow.

You went nuts at her?

To be fair this is correct. The father handled it right. The op went nuts at her small child. So the op had the melt down and the husband didn’t give in to her. Good for him. No idea why he’s apologising now, I guess to make it go away,

I hope he made his own dinner. And next time he makes a snide comment about enough money for Christmas you can snap back one of us is trying, one of us is just ordering takeaway and wasting the food I’ve just cooked, not to mention I didn’t even get to benefit from the takeaway since dd & I had eaten. You could act like you want money saved for Christmas instead of just thinking it’s a useful reason to snap at me.

@Janieforever I’m not responding to any of your comments as they’ve been deliberately attacking me-I’m not opposed to a different point of view, but the way you keep going on seems weird, it makes
me uncomfortable to be honest. He didn’t apologise to keep the peace, tbf he never apologises for anything, he sounded sincere with it , which was a surprise.
Dont dare say I’m abusing my daughter! I’m a very gentle, easy going parent normally and the way she shouted at me was really rude and unacceptable, so yes, I did tell her off as she needed to be and she knew that as she rarely gets told off

@Janieforever Erm, no!
Adults communicate.
OP communicated.
Dad overruled mum, to placate child he had caused issue with, because he didn’t want to deal with the issue he had caused.
Then he allowed the 5yr old to be rude & disrespectful to her mother & gave said 5yr old praise for doing so!
Dad is an ass hat!!!!

So it really wasn’t about money then?! Why even mention money if you can afford to throw away good food 🤦🏽‍♀️ no need to bring out the there are children starving in Africa line…there’s probably children starving on your street 🙄

Honestly I think this is such an over reaction and really can’t see the issue. I’m a very laid back wife so possibly that’s why. But honestly this would not upset me in any way shape nor form and has actually happened many times. I think what a waste of energy to get upset over such small things. But if it bother you so much you’ll have to explain that to him so he doesn’t do it again.

So if your husband fancied a pizza he’d be out ? I think you’re all very highly strung and overreacting. Honestly never seen anything like it. She ate her daughter ate now he’s having a pizza and little girl having a bit. What is actually the big issue, poor guy is probably dying to get back to work on Monday 🤦‍♀️

Start communicating. Stop going nuts at your child and stop sulking at your husband and stop winding yourself up on here. This is the Mumsnet vipers nest, remember? Not a place for calm contemplation.

Climb down.

He's apologised, that's great.

Now you apologise to your daughter and see if she thinks of apologising to you - it's unlikely, she's probably forgotten all about it, being 5, so don't insist and make her go through the motions, but role modelling calm quiet conversations and considering other people's feelings is a great move.

You said you went nuts at DD.

I suspect her behaviour might be more closely linked to that than the pizza; if I'm honest. Kids copy what they see.

@YouveGotAFastCar It was nuts for me as in as I said I’m very laid back and easygoing in general normally, but yes I was cross

I find it incredibly rude when someone has cooked dinner for someone to go out and get a takeaway. This happened with my friend she spent £60 on food to cook the family a special dinner and her Granddaughter insisted on mcdonalds and her daughter gave in to her. So disrespectful.

It's not dinner, it's a plate of kiddie pasta. Heated up. Yuck. It didn't even cost £6 let alone £60

I assume you quoted me by mistake!!

@Valerianandfoxglovesoup How do you know it was *Kiddie pasta? What even is that? It’s pasta I used to make even before Dd came along 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, I'm sure it was absolutely lovely, especially when reheated 🤢

@Valerianandfoxglovesoup It wouldn’t have had to have been reheated for his dinner? It was warm in the oven, only needed reheating if we needed to eat it the next day
Have you never had a nice, homemade pasta dish for your dinner or in a restaurant or in Italy? Plenty of pasta dishes are very nice, not just *Kiddie dishes…perhaps try some? Branch out a little