Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

Most nights my OH eats what he's given if it's my turn to cook but Friday nights feel a bit different so we always decide on something we both want which is a takeaway if we're feeling flush. Do you normally just cook whatever you want without checking with him?

I'd forget the pizza/pasta debate and work on being a united front to DD. A child shouldn't speak to you like that and then get rewarded for it.

Your DD is 5. Parent her. As I said upthread there’s no way a 5 year old would be shouting at me and behaving the way she did.

What disrespect? He didn’t know you had eaten! As to your child, well you just need to correct behaviour you don’t like. You really are making quite a fuss over something pretty small.

No me neither really. He's a big adult he can get his pizza and give a piece to 5 year old if he wants

Stop stressing...you can all have bit of both and still have left overs for tmros lunch or dinner 😋
I'll be glad If that happens it only means no cooking the next day.

Do you usually plan or discuss meals? Like who’s cooking when, when you’re getting takeaway? Did you not have a mutually agreed plan for this evening? I ask because on the occasions we haven’t pre planned meals, are those days when my DH might well walk in and suggest a takeaway. However once he knew you’d cooked, he should have graciously accepted dinner and told your daughter she could get pizza tomorrow instead.

Is he your husband or your son? If he's your husband surely you allow him to buy pizza if he wants it. End of the week, hard days work and then home to the fun prevention officer 🙄

He was absolutely wrong not to backtrack when he realised you’d already made dinner

I do agree you could’ve waited for him to eat though (not make DD wait but you could wait). Bit miserable to eat reheated food alone on a Friday eve.

Is this common with dh that he undermines you? If it's not typical, then I'd just leave it be.

If its something he does often I'd have a separate discussion about this another time with him.

When you put dd to bed tonight, maybe have a chat with her about how she should he speaking to people, and shouting at mummy or daddy is not acceptable.

@Valerianandfoxglovesoup We can’t afford it at the moment, at least if it was tomorrow or a day I hadn’t made dinner, we’d enjoy it more as we hadn’t eaten and wouldn’t waste a days food

Lying sulking in bed, not eating pizza you want to eat is just embarrassing. Don't go 'nuts' at your kid, especially over this non event.

Eating dinner at 5pm I'd be grateful for leftover pizza at 8/9pm

5pm is so early!

Lots of people appear to be missing the point.

DD threw a tantrum, was rude to her mother and was rewarded with pizza because the DH wasn't willing to back up his wife.

It's not really about the pizza or pasta.

@minipie He doesn’t eat it alone, he sits down with us, it’s just Dd has already had hers. He doesn’t mind that.

Oh don’t worry, eat your share of the pizza and drop it. All kids would have reacted in this way. It’s a Friday, it’s miserable weather and takeaway pizza is a lot nicer than hour old pasta, stuff your face and just enjoy the weekend, I can see why you’re annoyed, but just let it go.

I've had this happen, it's shit. Rule in our house now is either a text or call on the way home to see if it works for us all OP, might be worth a wee chat to implement something similar so you don't get a repeat cause meltdowns ain't fun.

@margotrose Thank you, that’s my point completely

Dh said it was his fault as he didn’t know we’d eaten, Dd continues to throw a fit, I say yo her firmly we’ll have it tomorrow night

Surely there's a bit of undermining happening in both sides here?

Dad walks in, not knowing Mum has made dinner and child has eaten. Says to child "let's go for pizza". Child is excited, runs to tell Mum who says a firm and final No. Undermining dad. Confusing the child. Child is then obviously upset as she was excited.

Mum's pissed off because Dad's acted on sorting a nice treat, she never told him about dinner, he never asked about dinner, a confused child is now being told "firmly no" for spurious reasons and frankly, it's Friday fucking night and Mum is now considering stropping off to bed.

I'm cross at it all, and I'm not even the baffled 5yo in the midst of it all.

Whaddaya mean, waste a days' food? Just put it in the fridge.

@SecondUsername4me It is early, pre Dd we’d eat much later, but she gets hungry and has already had a snack after school

LIKE FUCK would a five year old child get to speak to me like that THEN get rewarded by getting pizza with daddy. And how dare he undermine you!

Your DH should have presented a united front with you (ah, no DD, mummy has cooked dinner already, we'll get pizza tomorrow) or waited till your DD had gone to bed to eat pizza.

I'd be leaving them to it. He can put her to bed tonight.

Yanbu

Doesn't mean you need to eat at 5pm with her. Just sit with her with a cuppa and an apple or whatever.

The pasta will keep until tomorrow.

He can bring you back a pizza that you can eat tomorrow.

Where's the waste?