Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

Petty sure OP says he has eaten his alone before and sits with them while he eats so not exactly "alone" if that ever happens and he "doesn't mind!" doing that yet everyone acts like he should be aggrieved by it

she could have enjoyed it more and he’s now responsible for her diet issues?

Yes! He said himself "they" were getting pizza! Which means he intended for it to be a family thing, which you aren't gonna want pizza as much when you've had a bowl of pasta, that's easy to understand. And yes he should be supportive of his wife's diet. I feel like he lacks basic consideration and I feel like you are batshit too 🤷‍♀️

There are so many disingenuous posters here, on the one hand making out OP would not have been controlling or forcing him to eat something. On the other expecting that he message his intention for pizza

So he would have texted, lets get pizza tonight. She says no.

What other way can it go?

I’d be very pissed off about this. My partner would always call first to see what I had planned for dinner, and if he fancied something but I’d already cooked, we’d just agree to have the yummy food another night soon.

I'm not normally a one for wanting to imagine the sexes were reversed but reversing them here really is an eye opener.

OP gets home from work and suggests getting a pizza.
Her husband tries to overrule her and tells her she has to have cold leftover pasta instead, then "goes nuts" at a 5yo because he's been disrespected.

People would be saying LTB.

Talk to each other.

If cooking's your thing, then he should consult you as to what you've planned.

If he's finishing work at whenever then it's reasonable he's going to be hungry.

If you've already eaten it's reasonable he'll go and get something for himself.

If he'd known you'd eaten but there was a meal waiting for him he'd know not to start chuntering on about pizza.

Giving in to a tantrumming five year old is going to get worse. Decide how you're going to deal with that together and not take sides.

Agree how you'll handle her being rude together.

Decide what kind of budget you realistically have for treats (if money's an issue, then pizza is a treat).

TALK to each other and stop sulking. Set an example. How can she learn to behave when this is what you're showing her?

You are being under mind, and it is a PowerPlay from his part. It was completely unacceptable for him to do that.

You have every right to be pissed. And if this becomes a behavioral pattern, you need to consider whether or not if this works for you

Undermined!

I hear your issue and agree YNBU.
however YBVU to now just throw away ‘loads’ of pasta as you’ve described it. If you really wanted to save money food is often eaten the next day and the next. All leftovers are eaten in this house the following day, because we can’t afford not to. Pasta is literally one of the best dishes to eat the following day, and the day after that. I think you’re being very weird to now throw away good food for no good reason. When you should just serve it tomorrow night.
i agree your dh is a dick and your daughter doesn’t respect you. But you’re clearly able to afford pizza if you’re willing to throw away good food for literally no reason at all.

I am guessing that you aren't the parent who cooks dinner!

I don't think the pizza was such a problem as DH undermining her with DD. Parents need a united front, whatever day of the week it is - DH could have said "don't ever speak to your mum like that" and we'll get pizza tomorrow. If DH had a severe craving then he could get some after DD was asleep.

No problem. He eats the pasta warmed up for tomorrow's dinner.
As for your child, she needs to be told no or she'll grow up to be a brat.

Don't go to bed. Have the pizza and use the pasta in another dish tomorrow. DH should know better than to do this, too. In a quiet moment point out why it isn't a good idea to play off your DD against you. Also, perhaps wait till DH gets home to eat? Warmed-up pasta is not great - soggy usually - so perhaps this is his way of saying 'why don't you have dinner ready when we can all eat it together'? Possibly a good idea to sit down with him to make menus for the week and put up the list - you don't have to stick to it rigidly and have cottage pie on Monday because the list says so, swap it about. Then he can see that meals are going to be ready in the evening and that there is no need for take-aways. Making a menu and listing the ingredients you need will also save you money.

Takeaway pizza is a total waste of money. Hope husband is on a good wage and can afford to waste his/your money. If so I wouldn't waste my time cooking for them. They are rude, stupid and lack gratitude.

Yes you should totally be upset ,

Just refuse to cook for them.

Doesn't your DH have a mobile phone? Quick call to you would have been ideal.

Thanks everyone,

Dh apologised today and said it was his fault
No one wanted the pasta, surprise surprise, so unfortunately it had to be wasted
I made a chilli with rice and cheesy nachos…
Its the undermining thing and having to be on the same page for Dd

This

I’d never put up with being told what I can and can’t eat.
This would be a Ouse on MN if it was the man telling you this
dd may have ate bit pasta fills you up quick and your hungry again Shortly after.

Oh I change my mind that’s a full dinner not just some boiled pasta.
No he would be making his own dinner .

“I’ve made dinner, how about we get it tomorrow night?” …?

Glad he’s apologised, OP

Yeah, thats her saying no isnt it.

LIke the poster above who says that if she had cooked and he suggested takeaway he would ring and they would 'agree' to have the takeaway the following night

ie - I say no you cant have it tonight

Jesus, people cant just hear themselves

I would absolutely let tonight go. But then have a more general chat about communication about dinners and plans with each other before announcing things to dd. And agree some ground rules. Just like if you told dd 'we're off to legoland' without consulting him one Saturday morning and he had jobs to do around the house and wasn't up for going - he'd have wanted you to ask him first. Simple.