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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD if you found high heels in your husband's car?

374 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 13/10/2023 17:51

If your husband told you he was going to a work related black tie ball with colleagues (happens a few times a year) and the following morning you found a pair of ladies high heels in a bag on the ground in the back of his car how would you react/what would you think?

OP posts:
Fummymummy · 13/10/2023 18:52

I mean. I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't have assumed an innocent lift! I'd either just ask him straight, or I'd take them and put them away somewhere. If he doesn't ask about them, then I'd have reason to be suspicious. But if he asks where they are then he's not hiding the fact he's got them (ie friend has asked for them back) and whatever they were there for will come out - lift, or whatever.

HikingforScenery · 13/10/2023 18:53

this

YourNameGoesHere · 13/10/2023 18:56

Fummymummy · 13/10/2023 18:52

I mean. I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't have assumed an innocent lift! I'd either just ask him straight, or I'd take them and put them away somewhere. If he doesn't ask about them, then I'd have reason to be suspicious. But if he asks where they are then he's not hiding the fact he's got them (ie friend has asked for them back) and whatever they were there for will come out - lift, or whatever.

To be honest if your first reaction isn't an innocent one like he's given a collegue a lift and it is instead to be unhappy and start playing silly games like hiding them then that indicates your relationship is probably already in trouble.

Nevermind31 · 13/10/2023 18:56

Dropped off a colleague who forgot her shoes (that she would have taken off as soon as they got to the car to change I to something comfier).
DH - there are some shoes in the car - you’ll need to let the owner know.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 13/10/2023 18:56

The most obvious answer is a female colleague left them when he have her a lift
Do you have reason to doubt him?
Just ask him

ActDottie · 13/10/2023 18:57

He probably just have someone a lift. Ask him.

TheOctomyTober · 13/10/2023 18:57

Well my husband would tell me if he had given someone a lift so I'd know if he had or not.

If he hadn't said anything and I found a pair of shoes I'd assume he had found them and was taking them back to work for a colleague. This is exactly the kind of thing mu husband would do (he's a much nicer, kinder person than I am!)

But that's my husband. I don't know what or why you might assume about yours - I mean that nicely. Fingers crossed its all innocent.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/10/2023 18:58

Mycatshandbag · 13/10/2023 17:53

That he dropped off a female colleague who swapped into comfie shoes and left her heels in the car by mistake.

This! Unless of course he has form??

MyCircumference · 13/10/2023 18:58

that he'd given someone a lift.
have you asked him?

ReadySalty · 13/10/2023 18:59

Was he driving that night? Did he give a colleague a lift home? Did he stay in a hotel? Do you know who owns the shoes? Have you spider senses been tingly lately?

Isitautumnyet23 · 13/10/2023 19:00

Ask him - could have been handed to him at the venue to take back into work for a colleague? I know plenty of friends who change to flats on a night out and could easily leave shoes in the venue.

GypsyPie · 13/10/2023 19:00

I'd just ask him.
And he'd just tell me.
It wouldn't be more complicated than that.

kitsuneghost · 13/10/2023 19:00

I would ask who's they were. Simple

belgiumchocolates · 13/10/2023 19:02

I'd be freaking out imagining DH is a cross dresser, but then I do tend to over react. What size are the shoes ?

NetZeroZealot · 13/10/2023 19:02

I'm going to a work black tie do next week.

I will be bringing comfortable shoes to change into as soon as I leave.

I'm going with several colleagues, most of them male. If any were to give me a lift and I'd had a few drinks - which I will - I could easily accidentally leave the shoes in the car.

Absolutely no reason for the OP to be suspicious.

Neriah · 13/10/2023 19:04

I'd assume his wife had nothing better to do than make up rubbish on MN.

NetZeroZealot · 13/10/2023 19:04

Whatever you do OP, do not embarrass your DH by assuming that shoes = shag.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 13/10/2023 19:05

I have had 2 long term cheats in my life. They were good at hiding things and covering themselves up. I am doubtful most cheating married men would be stupid enough to leave their mistresses high heels in the car for you to find. I'd go with those who said female colleague who changed out of shoes due to sore feet.

Namerequired · 13/10/2023 19:05

Mycatshandbag · 13/10/2023 17:53

That he dropped off a female colleague who swapped into comfie shoes and left her heels in the car by mistake.

Yep this

ichundich · 13/10/2023 19:05

Phone a lawyer, sorry!

NotAscoob · 13/10/2023 19:05

CaughtUpInYourWishingWell · 13/10/2023 17:52

Either a cheater or cross dressing. Probably the former.

Yes the former. One hundred percent

kitsuneghost · 13/10/2023 19:06

Neriah · 13/10/2023 19:04

I'd assume his wife had nothing better to do than make up rubbish on MN.

She has probably not even asked. Probably just ran to mumsnet all excited because she thought she had some drama.

FallingAutumnLeaf · 13/10/2023 19:07

I'd laugh, and ask if he was posting them to A or taking them to N next time they were both there.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 13/10/2023 19:08

The fact they're in a bag suggest someone changed out of them, not flung off in mad passion, therefore unlikely they've done the "walk of shame" barefoot. But I'd just ask my DH why he's bought high heels when he knows how uncomfortable they are!

Lovemychair · 13/10/2023 19:08

I would hopefully have known he was driving and he would hopefully have told me he gave someone a lift.
If he said he wasn't driving and didn't mention the lift. I'd be suspicious.