Page 14 | WWYD if you found high heels in your husband's car?

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 2023-10-13T16:51:24+00:00

If your husband told you he was going to a work related black tie ball with colleagues (happens a few times a year) and the following morning you found a pair of ladies high heels in a bag on the ground in the back of his car how would you react/what would you think?

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 15/10/2023 13:06

ScotsBluebell · 15/10/2023 12:58

In Scotland, at weddings and other big functions, men have been known to remove their underpants later in the evening, when the dancing and the kilt wearing get too hot. When they got home after one such event, a friend of ours said to his wife, 'I put my underpants in your black bag.' To which she replied, 'I didn't take a black bag.' They never found out whose bag the offending pants were in - nor what happened after.

Oh no!

I hope everything went well for the owner of the black bag,

Reminds me of a friend who (nowadays a lawyer...) sent papers concerning the start of divorce proceedings to their client. Which may sound innocuous and perfectly reasonable.
BUT the firm apparently had two clients with exactly the same first and surname... (And she sent them to the wrong one).

One of the firm´s partners was apparently called rather late in the evening by a completely desperate man and his (understandably) very angry wife...

Jacesmum1977 · 15/10/2023 13:38

Mycatshandbag · 13/10/2023 17:53

That he dropped off a female colleague who swapped into comfie shoes and left her heels in the car by mistake.

This

Nursercurser · 15/10/2023 14:10

I'd try them on and if they fit then they're a gift for me🤣👼😄

Kwilson24 · 15/10/2023 14:13

Nothing to be worried or suspicious about. Your husband gave a lady a lift, after she had changed out of her heels in to flats, then forgot to take them when he dropped her off. Just let him know that you found them so that he can return them to her.

ChangefortheBetter88 · 15/10/2023 14:13

Spot on, definitely this!

fetchacloth · 15/10/2023 14:17

Jacesmum1977 · 15/10/2023 13:38

This

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Exactly. Have we got to the bottom of this yet OP?

CustardySergeant · 15/10/2023 14:43

fetchacloth · 15/10/2023 14:17

Exactly. Have we got to the bottom of this yet OP?

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Try reading the OP's posts. You will be enlightened.

MissSummers · 15/10/2023 19:53

I recently started dating someone and we hung out. My ex, (daughter's dad) calls me all the time, sometimes 60 times in a few hours. If I don't pick up the phone, he comes to my house. Today myself, my date and my daughter went for lunch and to the park. My ex kept calling and eventually I picked up the phone because he wouldn't leave me alone. I told him we'd gone to the pub and the park but didn't say we were with the guy I was dating. My ex was suspicious so he drove to my house, saw I wasn't there and then saw me driving home on the road outside my house. He then followed me down the street. I had to stop. He opened the car door and called my date a prick and said he wanted to take his daughter and took her. My date was very upset and so was I. He said he needed time to process this, says it's my fault and is calling me a liar... What should I do?

Ramalangadingdong · 15/10/2023 19:57

GabriellaFaith · 14/10/2023 21:16

I think I would casually ask him if he had a good time last night, any office gossip, anyone hammered at the end of the night etc see if he mentions anything. If not could get more direct, wasn't the weather absolutely awful last night! how was the drive home? If he mentions nothing at all when he's had ample opportunity to, I'd then say we'll I wondered after finding her shoes and judge his reaction.

Personally I don't find the shoes odd, it's the fact he hasn't mentioned anything that's raised my suspicions.

He probably didn’t notice. I am pretty sure that he knew what his wife was like and if he had noticed he would have handed them back to their owner sharpish. Or thrown them away and claimed never to have seen them.

Ramalangadingdong · 15/10/2023 20:01

His wife isn’t quite up to Wagatha Christie standards of detection. Anyone could read the signs and see what the situation is. Many have already pointed out that nobody but nobody puts high heels in a bag before, after or during shagging.

Ramalangadingdong · 15/10/2023 20:06

And the husband probably never gave women lifts home again - even if the women were vulnerable (had missed the last transport home etc).

GCSister · 15/10/2023 20:20

MissSummers · 15/10/2023 19:53

I recently started dating someone and we hung out. My ex, (daughter's dad) calls me all the time, sometimes 60 times in a few hours. If I don't pick up the phone, he comes to my house. Today myself, my date and my daughter went for lunch and to the park. My ex kept calling and eventually I picked up the phone because he wouldn't leave me alone. I told him we'd gone to the pub and the park but didn't say we were with the guy I was dating. My ex was suspicious so he drove to my house, saw I wasn't there and then saw me driving home on the road outside my house. He then followed me down the street. I had to stop. He opened the car door and called my date a prick and said he wanted to take his daughter and took her. My date was very upset and so was I. He said he needed time to process this, says it's my fault and is calling me a liar... What should I do?

Phone the police

TheGoogleMum · 15/10/2023 20:25

My knee jerk feeling was to think an affair but actually just a little more thinking and a lift home and changing shoes makes more sense. Seems crazy that the other witnesses agreeing didn't reassure her! He probably should have mentioned giving some lifts before she found the shoes

Blueink · 15/10/2023 22:48

CustardySergeant · 15/10/2023 14:43

Try reading the OP's posts. You will be enlightened.

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😂

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:44

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 13/10/2023 19:33

They were my shoes and yes, changed into flats after the event.

A colleague had given me and 2 others a lift home. The following day he plonked them down on my desk and crossly told me to never leave my shoes in his car again. I completely forgot about them until then. Seemed really annoyed and working relationship never recovered.

Turns our his wife went mental rang the two other colleagues to check his story and called my boss at the time to say she didn't want me to work with him anymore.

Obviously I think she was crazy and was over reacting but a minority of others said they wouldn't blame her and of course she would think they worst and I should have called her to apologise.

Agree. You should’ve called her and apologised. She’s over reacted by wanting you to not work together, BUT you should’ve cleared it up.

HaPPineS · 16/10/2023 06:43

I’d ask him - but be prepared to receive the answer. It’s not normal to have another woman’s shoes in your spouses car - it’s simply not. Some answers suggest it’s completely innocent and it may very well be - so ask him. If his answer is delayed, confusing, he seems stressed that he’s searching for words or feels uncomfortable- then I’d be looking discreetly for other clues. It’s good to trust, but don’t be naive. I’ve known someone who experienced something similar to this. Sometimes women who are in a relationship with a married man, will go to extreme lengths for the wife to find out - pushing the outcome forward under the promise by the man that they will leave. Therefore, leaving things in the car, where there is a risk the wife will find it - creates that opportunity. Just be careful and protect yourself, if it’s innocent then that’s great but protect yourself.

GCSister · 16/10/2023 07:11

HaPPineS · 16/10/2023 06:43

I’d ask him - but be prepared to receive the answer. It’s not normal to have another woman’s shoes in your spouses car - it’s simply not. Some answers suggest it’s completely innocent and it may very well be - so ask him. If his answer is delayed, confusing, he seems stressed that he’s searching for words or feels uncomfortable- then I’d be looking discreetly for other clues. It’s good to trust, but don’t be naive. I’ve known someone who experienced something similar to this. Sometimes women who are in a relationship with a married man, will go to extreme lengths for the wife to find out - pushing the outcome forward under the promise by the man that they will leave. Therefore, leaving things in the car, where there is a risk the wife will find it - creates that opportunity. Just be careful and protect yourself, if it’s innocent then that’s great but protect yourself.

Read the OPs update!!

Nursercurser · 16/10/2023 10:00

Most sensible answer yet - I agree 👍

MargotBamborough · 16/10/2023 10:08

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:44

Agree. You should’ve called her and apologised. She’s over reacted by wanting you to not work together, BUT you should’ve cleared it up.

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She should have apologised to the man's wife for accidentally leaving her shoes in his car?

Why?

TravelInHope · 16/10/2023 10:27

Why? This is Mumsnet.

WandaWonder · 16/10/2023 10:36

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:44

Agree. You should’ve called her and apologised. She’s over reacted by wanting you to not work together, BUT you should’ve cleared it up.

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Why? A women jumps to a conclusion and someone else has to apologise, if this is what you mean I am happy to say the idea is ridiculous

Maybe women could use their brain cells a little more?

Heelenahandbasket · 16/10/2023 10:41

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 13/10/2023 19:33

They were my shoes and yes, changed into flats after the event.

A colleague had given me and 2 others a lift home. The following day he plonked them down on my desk and crossly told me to never leave my shoes in his car again. I completely forgot about them until then. Seemed really annoyed and working relationship never recovered.

Turns our his wife went mental rang the two other colleagues to check his story and called my boss at the time to say she didn't want me to work with him anymore.

Obviously I think she was crazy and was over reacting but a minority of others said they wouldn't blame her and of course she would think they worst and I should have called her to apologise.

I think this is a really misogynist and controlling mindset that has the potential to damage women’s careers. Woman need to take up any potential cheating (not that this even is that) with their dh not try to wreck women’s careers.

so many women on mn feel justified in being hateful towards women speaking to their dh or doing other perfectly normal things (like getting a lift). We should call this out as abusive as it is.

PhantomUnicorn · 16/10/2023 10:41

if a work collegue of my ExH had ever called me to apologise for forgetting her shoes after a night out i'd be a bit baffled tbh.

Heelenahandbasket · 16/10/2023 10:43

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:44

Agree. You should’ve called her and apologised. She’s over reacted by wanting you to not work together, BUT you should’ve cleared it up.

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Sorry - what? Op should call and apologize to a complete stranger who called her boss and tried to damage her career? Are you on glue?

Heelenahandbasket · 16/10/2023 10:48

changeme4this · 14/10/2023 22:01

There are some nutters around who you cannot reason with. I was friends on FB with a male school friend (I’m in my 50’s) haven’t seen him or the others since school but we all got along well and stayed in contact on fb.

anyhow I made a comment on his page, nothing of any great significance, and next thing his wife is plastering social media in our old area with my name asking if anyone knew of me, failing that she intended to delete me from her hubbys page.

She was a couple of years behind us at school and my fb name isn’t my maiden name.

i replied who I was and how I knew her hubby, mutual school friends etc She still had trouble accepting the info but by then, I just felt it better for him if I left his page.

he was a gentle soul at school and I felt rather sorry he ended up with a loonie..

I suppose we wouldn’t dismiss controlling and abusive behavior by men towards women so easily.