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Original poster

WWYD if you found high heels in your husband's car?

374 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 13/10/2023 17:51

If your husband told you he was going to a work related black tie ball with colleagues (happens a few times a year) and the following morning you found a pair of ladies high heels in a bag on the ground in the back of his car how would you react/what would you think?

OP posts:
Hmm1234 · 14/10/2023 18:14

Cheating or cross dressing

Hmm1234 · 14/10/2023 18:16

If they are another females and not his she’d of left them in his car on purpose so the other woman would be suspicious.

Jumpleaprun · 14/10/2023 18:18

I would ask for a start. But I would assume that someone had left them after a ride home.

Charliebear2020 · 14/10/2023 18:22

I'd have originally thought he gave someone a lift but then my hubby would have told me if he had done this. Also if I had a carrier bag and had a lift off someone, I would normally keep it in the front with me rather than put it in the back of the car? Unless it was a group of people. It could well be innocent but that was one of my first thoughts when I saw they were in the back seat.

Billybea · 14/10/2023 18:22

Well firstly there’s clearly a trust issue here. If it was my husband I would think he dropped a couple of people off. (Otherwise why be in the back!) which could have been a male mate and his wife? Ask! It’s better than surmising!

jrc1071 · 14/10/2023 18:29

It doesn’t matter what you think. It’s how you feel and is this acceptable for you?

And if it isn’t… Spend a few months getting all of your documentation together, get a handle on your finances, get all of your documents for bank accounts, wages, tax returns, investments, and then get yourself to a divorce attorney.

And don’t confront him because he will start hiding money.

Don’t use divorce trying to think that he will change his mind.

You will only make it worse. So get yourself prepared, adequately, prepared, get legal advice, and do not inform him.

fetchacloth · 14/10/2023 18:30

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/10/2023 17:54

I’d like to think that he’d given someone a lift home and she’d changed out of the heels, put them in a bag and left them in the car.

I agree, most likely answer, however I'd still be having a convo about it.

Bec273 · 14/10/2023 18:31

If you haven't let on to him that you seen them. I would ask him "did you have to take or leave anyone home?" If he lies you know what that means

Ilovecleaning · 14/10/2023 18:37

So obviously cheating. No ‘innocent’ explanation.

JWGog · 14/10/2023 18:37

So, my son (11) is desperate to go trick or treating. I'm opposed, in principle, because I think it's glorified begging. He says we only call on people who decorate their houses because 'they're asking for it'. Ive offered a night out at one of the spooky castles locally who always put on a really good show... he now says he wants to go to his mum's on halloween because she will take him. Am i being unreasonable and should I lighten up? Or should I stick to my guns?

SirVixofVixHall · 14/10/2023 18:45

DustyLee123 · 13/10/2023 17:52

As they are in a bag I’d assume he’d given someone a lift.

This. i would think he had given a female colleague a lift home, and she had left it in the car by accident .

Bromptotoo · 14/10/2023 18:45

Has he got previous for playing away?

If not I'd go for the simplest and most likely - colleague given lift home and left hers there.

Might still rag him a bit though....

ElFupacabra · 14/10/2023 18:49

Any sane person would assume he'd given a female colleague a lift home and she'd left her shoes by mistake
I hate this use of the word sane, so anyone with trust issues or a shithead of a partner is mental? He could be a cheating prick and this is one of a list of things she’s had to deal with. Calling the boss was out of line but the disgusting way people are talking about this woman’s mental health isn’t ok.

Nor is the awful mean girl behaviour of you and your colleagues laughing at her “boring” shoes.

No one is coming off well here tbh. I’m embarrassed for you.

C79 · 14/10/2023 18:51

Can’t you just ask him?? Don’t understand why someone is scared to talk to their own husband… but would rather talk ti complete strangers.

Shehug · 14/10/2023 18:56

You have to ask him and then decide whether to believe him or not

Bilkey · 14/10/2023 19:00

Personally I would keep quiet and get proof find out next party event then make a plan to get the proof

Apossum · 14/10/2023 19:00

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/10/2023 17:54

I’d like to think that he’d given someone a lift home and she’d changed out of the heels, put them in a bag and left them in the car.

I would assume this of my DH.

Bilkey · 14/10/2023 19:01

E worried but what did you say our have you not said anything to him yet?

Confusedhusband87 · 14/10/2023 19:01

That type of thinking is not helpful ….he could have given somebody a lift and she left her shoes in the back.

Apossum · 14/10/2023 19:04

Ha. Help if I’d realised this was a long thread already 🤦🏼‍♀️ reading your updates OP, I’d assume he’s been a rascal in the past for the wife to react like that. Not your fault tho.

YDBear · 14/10/2023 19:04

It’s when you find bras in your husband’s car that you need to worry.

PicturesOfDogs · 14/10/2023 19:07

jrc1071 · 14/10/2023 18:29

It doesn’t matter what you think. It’s how you feel and is this acceptable for you?

And if it isn’t… Spend a few months getting all of your documentation together, get a handle on your finances, get all of your documents for bank accounts, wages, tax returns, investments, and then get yourself to a divorce attorney.

And don’t confront him because he will start hiding money.

Don’t use divorce trying to think that he will change his mind.

You will only make it worse. So get yourself prepared, adequately, prepared, get legal advice, and do not inform him.

?!?

adamski99 · 14/10/2023 19:10

Reading between the lines my GUESS is that this man has form. That would go a long way to explaining why his wife went off the deep end. What happened was clearly COMPLETELY innocuous, unless he has been caught with his trousers down previously

Hibiscrubbed · 14/10/2023 19:15

Susieb2023 · 14/10/2023 08:15

This thread just feels mean. You have no idea what a trigger your shoes may have been for her. You have no idea whether he has form and she’s dealing with some trauma/PTSD from it all. Your whole thread just feels like some younger woman rolling her eyes at an older woman’s anxieties and worries.

As someone who has been cheated on, my reaction would be utter anxiety, fear and I’d go into fight, flight or freeze, I’d probably react similarly to the wife in this scenario.

Maybe develop some empathy and let this go.

Edited

Jesus, you can’t post anything on Mumsnet anymore without the fun sponges coming out in force!

Starssi · 14/10/2023 19:16

I had a works event once and a group of us went out after. One person had driven, he was male and happily married to a lovely lady. There were a mixed group of us that are just good friends. I had a change of shoes as I hate wearing heels and I left my heels in his car, he gave me them back at work the next day. It could be as simple as this, I’d just ask him.