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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister on holiday with Covid

332 replies

CarlosSainzAKASmoothOperator · 13/10/2023 14:08

Spoke to sister this morning. She and her young child have tested positive for Covid after having a cough for a couple days. They are on a cruise due to disembark tomorrow.
I've told her she should tell the medical team onboard and isolate in cabin. She says I'm being ridiculous, that it's the last day so she will stay onboard on the pool deck in the fresh air. She lap says there's loads of people coughing.

I'm angry at her - she's got a flight back tomorrow - she says she will wear a mask but will enjoy the last day of the holiday.
She only tested as she had an lft in her case which I told her to pack.

Aibu for being annoyed at her?

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 13/10/2023 16:05

Parky04 · 13/10/2023 16:04

At least she has one decent sister!

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Who’s just about to be exposed to Covid if you actually believe the OP. Not bothered about your other sister and her family getting it then?

Broodywuz · 13/10/2023 16:06

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 13/10/2023 14:19

Would you be saying the same thing to her if she had the same symptoms but it wasn’t covid? I think people are still so triggered by the word covid that they think it’s something special that needs to be treated differently. It was, certainly, but not anymore. Of course it’s on the rise again, just like other coughs and colds and flu viruses. It is that time of year. Yes by all means be sensible and wear a mask in crowded areas/on a plane/at the GP but otherwise life goes on just as it does every year at this time. The more vulnerable amongst us take precautions knowing there are lots of viruses and bugs around.

Exactly this, YABU OP.
I wouldn't of tested if i were your sister. If you have covid you carry on as normal now, being sensible obviously, like i wouldn't go and visit my nan in a nursing home if i had the cold, same with covid. The common cold and flu can be very serious for vulnerable people, covid is in the same category now.

WhatALotOfAFussAboutNothing · 13/10/2023 16:07

YANBU OP - your sister and those who think her behaviour is OK are the unreasonable ones on the basis that common decency should tell you not to knowingly spread something that can still be serious to some people.

And all this “it’s just a cold now” is not true - it may be for some people but for those who are immunosuppressed or elderly it can still and does still kill.

Nanny0gg · 13/10/2023 16:07

CarlosSainzAKASmoothOperator · 13/10/2023 14:26

Right ok, I've accepted I'm BU. But she's been told to make other plans to get back from the airport tomorrow as I'm not putting mine or my families health at risk.

You're self-isolating again then?

Not going in shops or other public places?

Kids not going to school?

Working from home?

Diyextension · 13/10/2023 16:07

Heronwatcher · 13/10/2023 16:05

Who’s just about to be exposed to Covid if you actually believe the OP. Not bothered about your other sister and her family getting it then?

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You can guess whos getting left out of the inheritance 🤣

Myneighboursarewankers · 13/10/2023 16:08

CarlosSainzAKASmoothOperator · 13/10/2023 14:13

Seriously im BU? It's on the rise again, so even more reason to isolate surely?

Of course it’s on the rise…we’re coming into winter pressure. Every virus is on the rise. You are being hugely unreasonable. We can’t isolate for every virus otherwise no one would go anywhere

Differentstarts · 13/10/2023 16:09

Yabu the strict rules where only in place until people where able to be vaccinated now they are everyone can do as they please within reason obviously you have to be mindful as your contagious just like any illness but being in the fresh air, wearing a mask on the plane and trying to keep distance is enough

vdbfamily · 13/10/2023 16:16

Presumably she caught it on the cruise of symptomatic now so everyone will already have been exposed and will already be incubating it. We need to live with this now, like every other cold and flu. NHS staff no longer test routinely.

WinterDeWinter · 13/10/2023 16:18

saltinesandcoffeecups · 13/10/2023 15:53

I’ll say it out loud. If someone is that vulnerable then they need to be taking precautions in line with their personal risk factors. Those precautions don’t include others locking themselves away to their own detriment.

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I'm not talking about vulnerable people - that's a different issue (to you, anyway).

The people impacted by long covid, with irreversible damage in many cases, are people just like you. Non-vulnerable people.

We don't yet understand why or even the full extent of how, but it's clear that there is a post-viral syndrome which is doing terrible damage. It's quite possible that, like some other post-viral syndromes, the full damage won't be clear for years when the virus has a kind of sudden second life. Google Covid and Parkinsons for eg.

You should read more.

whynotwhatknot · 13/10/2023 16:19

loads of people cameoff my cruise last mnth with it-ive got it right now

not alot you can do

Sajari63 · 13/10/2023 16:21

Oh, what happened to the good old days when a cold started with a sore throat then lasted about 10 days. You all remember the common cold virus do you that we have all had pretty much every year of our existence.

When will these people stop banging on about covid when we all know the treatment and response of it caused more problems than it ever hoped to solve. Indeed, the legacy of covid has resulted in death sentences for many thousands who weren't treated, or treated too late to save them.

Anyway, there's much worse things to worry about than stressing over what is a mild cold - and before someone decides to say its dangerous for some people blah, blah, blah .... a cold or the flu was and is always dangerous for some people.

TrashedSofa · 13/10/2023 16:23

whynotwhatknot · 13/10/2023 16:19

loads of people cameoff my cruise last mnth with it-ive got it right now

not alot you can do

Yeah, if someone goes on a cruise now they're consenting in advance to covid exposure. Covid safe cruises aren't a thing.

Wotrewelookinat · 13/10/2023 16:23

It really isn’t ‘just a cold’. I tested positive 5 days ago and have been way iller than I ever have been with a cold. The fever and shivers lasted 48 hours, awful muscle pains, tender skin, complete exhaustion. So many symptoms. I am a fit, healthy and active adult with no other health problems. I have isolated as wouldn’t wish this on anyone, especially anyone older or vulnerable.

nopuppiesallowed · 13/10/2023 16:24

Gymmum82 · 13/10/2023 14:09

Yabu. Covid is everywhere. There are no rules to isolate anymore and barely anyone is testing.
It’s a mild cold now. We live with it

This 'mild cold' has knocked my adult daughter off her feet for 3 weeks and she's still not back to normal. There's another thread on mumsnet headed 'This is not just a mild cold'. It's full of people saying it's knocked them flat.

Badbadbunny · 13/10/2023 16:25

YANBU. She clearly doesn't care about other people if she's happy to spread it round a ship, airport and aircraft! There will be EV and ECV people she may spread it to, for whom, it won't be "minor"!

Dominoeffecter · 13/10/2023 16:26

The mistake she made was telling you

MiddleParking · 13/10/2023 16:26

WinterDeWinter · 13/10/2023 16:18

I'm not talking about vulnerable people - that's a different issue (to you, anyway).

The people impacted by long covid, with irreversible damage in many cases, are people just like you. Non-vulnerable people.

We don't yet understand why or even the full extent of how, but it's clear that there is a post-viral syndrome which is doing terrible damage. It's quite possible that, like some other post-viral syndromes, the full damage won't be clear for years when the virus has a kind of sudden second life. Google Covid and Parkinsons for eg.

You should read more.

Show quote history

Give over, people don’t need to read more to know there’s some risk of post viral illness. Most people’s appetite for that risk is just much higher than you think it should be. That’s tough luck.

Worddance · 13/10/2023 16:27

Gymmum82 · 13/10/2023 14:09

Yabu. Covid is everywhere. There are no rules to isolate anymore and barely anyone is testing.
It’s a mild cold now. We live with it

It's not a mild cold.

SlothMama · 13/10/2023 16:27

YABU
We cannot live our lives in constant lockdowns and isolations, humans get sick viruses spread. It's one of those constants in life.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 13/10/2023 16:33

YABU, it's not your business what she does on her holiday
YABU to make her take a test too

HerMammy · 13/10/2023 16:33

if she were in UK then it's stay home for 5 days unless absolutely essential)
since when? utter nonsense

wordler · 13/10/2023 16:34

When people keep using the argument that if people are isolating for Covid they would also have to isolate for the flu - well yes - they absolutely should be isolating for the flu.

vdbfamily · 13/10/2023 16:34

The point is that with any Covid,virus,cold type illness, some people will be really unwell and some will be asymptomatic. Some people will have flu and not know it and some will be in bed for 3 weeks. People have been getting post viral ongoing fatigue for as long as I have been around. It is not a new thing either.

berksandbeyond · 13/10/2023 16:37

YABVU. Let me guess, jealous of her holiday? I hope she’s had a lovely time. Anyone who is still regularly testing now is a drama queen tbh

Abra1t · 13/10/2023 16:37

i got Covid in France on the last day of a long weekend. I wore an ffp2 mask and avoided people and cancelled what I could. Travel insurance doesn’t cover Covid cancellations and isolation, so I’m not sure what else I could have done but fly home in my mask and keep away from other people as far as I could. There are no isolation centres any more.

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