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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister on holiday with Covid

332 replies

CarlosSainzAKASmoothOperator · 13/10/2023 14:08

Spoke to sister this morning. She and her young child have tested positive for Covid after having a cough for a couple days. They are on a cruise due to disembark tomorrow.
I've told her she should tell the medical team onboard and isolate in cabin. She says I'm being ridiculous, that it's the last day so she will stay onboard on the pool deck in the fresh air. She lap says there's loads of people coughing.

I'm angry at her - she's got a flight back tomorrow - she says she will wear a mask but will enjoy the last day of the holiday.
She only tested as she had an lft in her case which I told her to pack.

Aibu for being annoyed at her?

OP posts:
Panaa · 14/10/2023 03:41

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 01:35

@Panaa @Beginningless it is a multi organ disease. You just won't find out till further down the line. Like with heart attacks and stroke, your risk is elevated for 18 months (at least) after any COVID infection, however mild it was. https://www.bhf.org.uk/for-professionals/information-for-researchers/covid-19-and-cardiovascular-health

Or developing type 2 diabètes, or an auto immune disease. COVID elevates the chances of developing these, but you won't develop these during your infection but in the following months.

We've just discovered that Epstein Barr virus is linked to develop MS further down the line. What other similar links will we discover about COVID in 10 years?

Avoid COVID.

I don't care what they discover about it in 10 years. Surely everyone has caught it by now. I had it in September and felt fine after. I refuse to live in fear that even though I felt like I recovered after 3 days that it might actually have caused unknown damage to my organs.

I'm sure I had 'long flu' before the pandemic, I was unwell for a long, long time after, I think initially it was the flu that took a long time to recover from but then it was health anxiety caused by the unusually long sickness that exacerbated it.

I'm not living in fear of catching the flu again or covid or that I will be one of the extremely unlucky ones.

I know people with autoimmune diseases who were the first ones out anywhere and everywhere as soon as some restrictions were lifted. Not everyone wants to live in fear even if they're vulnerable!!

Also the new variants are presenting as a lot milder....and why is that? Oh yeah, most likely because it's been spread so much and immune responses are better. So there's benefits from it being spread around.

Also since omicron (which was a long time ago) long covid rates have declined.

PeloMom · 14/10/2023 03:51

I don’t think UABU. It affects you as you were supposed to give her a lift. I wouldn’t expose myself (and my family) to covid or anything contagious knowingly. Yes, viruses are all around us but I won’t go anywhere near anyone if I know they’re sick (with anything at all not just covid).

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 04:43

@Panaa not sure where you are getting the new variants are much milder from. You only have to read the COVID threads on here to see people are being floored by it.

I'm not talking about living in fear. I'm talking about being a responsible human being that doesn't go around knowingly spreading a disease that remains a class 3 biohazard. Which @Princessandthepea0 seems happy to do and boast about.

Shoxfordian · 14/10/2023 06:55

You’re being well over the top op
Glad you’re not my sister

Alighttouchonthetiller · 14/10/2023 07:10

@Panaa current variants are not milder. I've been properly poorly for about ten days now. When I had Covid previously a few years ago, it was just like a heavy cold. This is much, much worse. It's not something I want my elderly mother catching. I'd be delighted to see more testing and mask wearing going on.

pieintheski · 14/10/2023 07:25

Gymmum82 · 13/10/2023 14:09

Yabu. Covid is everywhere. There are no rules to isolate anymore and barely anyone is testing.
It’s a mild cold now. We live with it

it is not always a mild cold - My friends life was devastated by covid just last week

Doyouthinktheyknow · 14/10/2023 07:42

YABU, she shouldn’t have bothered testing. you were really unfair to insist they did test!

We came back from a cruise with covid. We didn’t have tests so didn’t know until we arrived home but I did suspect it.

We are going on another cruise in January, I certainly won’t be taking tests then either!

Princessandthepea0 · 14/10/2023 09:01

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 04:43

@Panaa not sure where you are getting the new variants are much milder from. You only have to read the COVID threads on here to see people are being floored by it.

I'm not talking about living in fear. I'm talking about being a responsible human being that doesn't go around knowingly spreading a disease that remains a class 3 biohazard. Which @Princessandthepea0 seems happy to do and boast about.

Are you ok? No-one needs to isolate now. I have to go to work unless I’m not well enough. That’s the rules now for the working population - has been for some time. If you want to pay me for the lost hours and lost tickets - the bill is in the thousands. Then fine, if not be quiet. The requirement to isolate is gone.

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 09:06

@Princessandthepea0 I hope you at least had the decency to wear an N95 and inform your colleagues of your infection so they had the choice to take measures to protect themselves. And the people who attended your event.

Beezknees · 14/10/2023 09:27

Gingerbee · 13/10/2023 20:17

I think your sister is rather selfish. We caught covid in Europe a couple of weeks ago. We were doing a self drive tour. We took tests with us as my husband is Doctor. We met we did our virology BSc.
Informed hotel who left breakfast outside the room. We contacted the ferry company informed them and changed our bookings. They suggested masking up and sitting on deck and we complied. We were able to goLong journey home. I was feeling rough so didn't drive. Our hotels were happy to cancel our bookings free of charge. Even the one we were staying declined payment. They sealed off our room for the 48 hours we would have been there.
Hubby had never had covid. He became unwell 2 days later. He was really unwell.

People are still dying of covid.
She should inform the medical and cleaning staff. Just think how many older or more vulnerable people chose to go on holiday in October out of season.

If you were vulnerable to Covid going on a cruise is a silly idea at any time of year. Plenty of people don't test at all now, there are no requirements to do so so it's a massive risk.

Tomatoketchupred · 14/10/2023 09:30

You’re being ridiculous.

bagpuss90 · 14/10/2023 09:34

You told her to pack
a test ?

BluebellsForest · 14/10/2023 09:43

ChickpeaPie · 13/10/2023 14:25

Is it 2020 again?

I also work with vulnerable people and am expected to go to work with covid. Although, we can’t access tests and there’s no requirement to test so I wouldn’t know anyway.

you are being completely and utterly unreasonable

How fucking awful for those vulnerable people. Surely you think your management is at fault there for not even attempting to protect them?

BluebellsForest · 14/10/2023 09:49

jamimmi · 13/10/2023 22:28

OP are you aware NHS staff are no longer testing. In fact we are being told NOT to test. With only a couple.of very small exeptions..... if we aren't testing in hospitals why should she test on a cruise

Indefensible.

inews.co.uk/news/vulnerable-patients-risk-nhs-staff-covid-testing-policy-health-experts-2674804

GCSister · 14/10/2023 10:07

Avoid COVID.

it's not always possible though. I've just recovered from covid which i picked up while on a work trip on the other side of the world. I started to feel ill during a 6 hour layover at an airport in Asia. What could i do other than carry on my trip home?

Ewock · 14/10/2023 10:21

I think the problem here is people's experiences with covid. For some it is like a heavy cold so they don't see it as a threat. For others it's very serious. I am nearly at 2 years of long covid and can honestly say it has been awful and had a massive impact on mine and my families lives, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So I am probably more caution than others. I can understand reasoning on both sides but always err on the side of caution. However I do think you are being ott. Your sister could have worn a mask in your car, have windows open. She isn't to blame for having covid.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/10/2023 11:31

I think the problem here is people's experiences with covid. For some it is like a heavy cold so they don't see it as a threat. For others it's very serious. I am nearly at 2 years of long covid and can honestly say it has been awful and had a massive impact on mine and my families lives, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So I am probably more caution than others. I can understand reasoning on both sides but always err on the side of caution. However I do think you are being ott. Your sister could have worn a mask in your car, have windows open. She isn't to blame for having covid.

This.

Experiences are so varied.

SacAMain · 14/10/2023 12:03

Avoid COVID.

how, by not having a life?

Ideally, avoid Cancer, avoid ANY illness which can end up very badly for anyone, avoid vaccination which can have terrible side-effects for some individuals, avoid big city pollution...

I wouldn't recommend to go and snog an infected person, but some of us have decided to try to have a normal life while we can, which might mean catching covid at school, in a plane or in a cinema.

I am more worried about WW3 exploding over my head fairly soon than the possibly of developing type 2 diabetes in 20 years, which might, or might not, be coming from covid.

Panaa · 14/10/2023 13:45

@AussieManque
From the news and articles.

@Alighttouchonthetiller
They are milder. Does that mean mild for everyone? No, but as a whole the variant is generally milder.

As I said in a previous post I caught the flu a few years back, was an extremely healthy young adult at the time, convinced I had 'long flu' after it. Others who caught it around me were fine. It affected me badly for whatever reason, possibly because I was under extreme stress when I caught it. Does that mean that the flu was particular bad that year? Nope. It wasn't.

So it's not just the variant of covid but each persons individual differences that affect it, but overall over the entire population it is generally found to be more mild.

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 14:14

@GCSister I'm sorry you caught it on a work trip. I never fly without an N95 and probably never will ever again (pre COVID I often got sick on long haul trips). I book hotels with windows that open so I can ventilate it, I prioritize eating outdoors, I mask in meetings. I'm still living my life. It's possible.

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 14:20

@Gingerbee thank you for being responsible travelers, and clearly hotels and ferries etc still do worry about their staff and guests getting infected and took good measures to try and protect others

Shame on the NHS and UKHSA for not having the balls to do the right thing and prevent COVID transmission in hospitals and healthcare by supporting their staff to test and isolate to protect patients. Despite Shropshire hospital trust getting shredded after their email telling staff not to test, and rolling back, today there's another email from Lancashire hospital trust saying the same thing, because they don't want staff taking time off as per guidelines! They have the laughable phrase "in case staff do an inadvertent test".... Good on staff who do a test, inadvertently or otherwise.

Panaa · 14/10/2023 14:51

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 14:20

@Gingerbee thank you for being responsible travelers, and clearly hotels and ferries etc still do worry about their staff and guests getting infected and took good measures to try and protect others

Shame on the NHS and UKHSA for not having the balls to do the right thing and prevent COVID transmission in hospitals and healthcare by supporting their staff to test and isolate to protect patients. Despite Shropshire hospital trust getting shredded after their email telling staff not to test, and rolling back, today there's another email from Lancashire hospital trust saying the same thing, because they don't want staff taking time off as per guidelines! They have the laughable phrase "in case staff do an inadvertent test".... Good on staff who do a test, inadvertently or otherwise.

I think you are being very shortsighted.

Staff being off work in hospitals and healthcare has other knock on effects for patients. They will have weighed up the risks and benefits of allowing staff to work with covid, versus testing and staying off with covid and decided that allowing staff to work with covid has less risks overall.

GCSister · 14/10/2023 14:51

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 14:14

@GCSister I'm sorry you caught it on a work trip. I never fly without an N95 and probably never will ever again (pre COVID I often got sick on long haul trips). I book hotels with windows that open so I can ventilate it, I prioritize eating outdoors, I mask in meetings. I'm still living my life. It's possible.

It was just one of those things.
If I'm honest I don't want to be wearing masks on 14 hour flights.

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 15:10

@Panaa It is shortsighted to let infected staff treat patients who will end up getting COVID. 10% of people who get hospital acquired COVID die from it in England and Wales. When testing of patients on admission to hospital stopped, nosocomial covid rates rose to 41% (Scotland) & 26% (England). https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2805585

Spreading COVID unmitigated just will put more pressure on the system. The best thing we can be doing for the NHS right now is controlling its spread, inside and outside of hospital, through testing of staff and patients.

Discontinuation of Universal Admission Testing for SARS-CoV-2 and Hospital-Onset SARS-CoV-2 Infections in England and Scotland

This quality improvement study examines the association between the discontinuation of universal admission testing for SARS-CoV-2 infections and hospital-onset SARS-CoV-2 infections in England and Scotland.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2805585

Panaa · 14/10/2023 15:31

AussieManque · 14/10/2023 15:10

@Panaa It is shortsighted to let infected staff treat patients who will end up getting COVID. 10% of people who get hospital acquired COVID die from it in England and Wales. When testing of patients on admission to hospital stopped, nosocomial covid rates rose to 41% (Scotland) & 26% (England). https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2805585

Spreading COVID unmitigated just will put more pressure on the system. The best thing we can be doing for the NHS right now is controlling its spread, inside and outside of hospital, through testing of staff and patients.

No it isn't shortsighted.
That will have been considered and weighed up against the alternative. They understand the risks and will have decided that the risk is greater if they tell staff to test and not go to work. There's no shortsightedness there.

They're not going to try to stop the spread so if you're waiting for that to happen you're just going to be annoyed and frustrated.