To think life would be better without Christmas

[MyDogsPaws]

I really hate Christmas, I know I’m probably in the minority but it’s October and I’m already worried and stressed about it and I suspect I’m not alone!

If it was just a case of putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner in the 25th I would absolutely love it, I’d start thinking about it in December and look forward to having a nice day with my family. Unfortunately it’s not like this, there is fucking Santa and all that entails, school Xmas shows and needing to get time off work for it all, the cost of everything and being skint for the entire winter because i have to spend every penny I earn on presents or visiting Santas ducking grotto, or buying outfits for Xmas parties, and all the rest of it.

Yes I could just tell my kids there’s no such thing as Santa and all they’re getting is an orange and a book this year but that’s not going to stop them feeling left out when everyone else in primary school got a iphone 15 or whatever.

I really believe that Xmas makes life less enjoyable, not more and I’d quite happy ban it it, tinsel and all, for the rest of eternity, AIBU?

Everyone knows Christmas was a midwinter pagan festival, including people who still celebrate the day as Christ's birthday.

And it still is a midwinter festival. Mark it how you like. If we had more seasonal festivals (there's a reason they appear in all religions) then we wouldn't feel a need to go quite so mad for this one or have so much pressure on it.

Christmas is what you make it.
Yeah the stress and pressure can render it awful.. especially if you have other stuff going on. My dad dropped dead unexpectedly just before Christmas and I do think Christmas made it extra hard I had a complete Christmas meltdown. Trying to make it special for the children was very hard, the pressure and the guilt.
But I still love Christmas and the joy it brings kids. I have a few beautiful Christmas memories and id like my kids to have the same. I think its very important to remember its not some kind of competition, and kids are actually very easily pleased. Just being there and making some kind of little effort goes a long way. You dont have to do all this extra crap and spend thousands. Keep it simple.
I do think Christmas advertising has gotten out of hand.. starts in October and just heaps pressure on you. You do have to think to yourself 'just step back and keep it simple
I love the traditional free community events in my town. The carols on Christmas eve in the square, the turning on of the Christmas lights.. the kids love it and its free. Often there are ice sculptures and puppets too. I think it brings a bit of cheer as the weather starts to turn. And the food of course is lush as I'm someone who loves mince pies and stollen and all that type of thing! I also love a bit of Christmas music and I love the decorations too. And thats all free tbh. I've had the same decorations for decade altho we take the kids to buy one new bauble for the tree each year. We put on the music and all decorate the tree together. Its just a nice way to spend time as a family when its cold so there's not much to do outside.

@MyDogsPaws yeah well a run or any other activity for yourself is fine. Although snow down south is more likely to be early in Spring. Not so much fun in the dark and trying to start, de mist and drive car iin morning ice order to get to work.

It’s doing stuff for everyone else in winter is hard work. I can waft about the rest of the year.

It was a pagan midwinter festival before it was a Christian religious one.

I do think that Christmas not being a thing would relieve a lot of stress from so many people.

There are people who get in to debt every year because they feel obliged to buy gifts.

Look at how many posts there are on here about people stressing over how to split custody of the kids on Xmas Day, how to navigate dealing with awkward relative etc.

You could look on Vinted for clothes? People are practically giving away good stuff on there!

Yes it would be great if you could say “oh we’re not doing Christmas this year, we’re saving up for x/to have a really good one next year” but if you have children/family members relying on you to do it you really can’t.

A couple of years ago me, my sister and mum put a £20 maximum spend on each other for Christmas, we don't buy for other adults or extended family. It's all about the kids.

This year I've decided to leave getting Turkey until the last minute because I'm fed up of paying ££s for a crown then seeing them reduced heavily a couple of days before Xmas. I'll get a chicken just in case there aren't any turkeys on reduce, so if I get a turkey I can use the chicken another day.

Oh, I completely agree. And there are many other festivals to celebrate at this time of the year. none of which cost much money.

Every year, I attend a beautiful Coming of Advent service at our local church. It’s so moving, as the church goes from darkness to candlelight.

DH’s best friend is Jewish and we are very close, so we take over Hanukkah gifts one evening that week, and stay for candle lighting, latkes and dreidel. I also like to see the Hannukah lights near MIL in North London.

Then around Christmas, our friends who are interested get us over to welcome the Yule Log into their home. This is a remarkably raucous evening!

I dislike New Years Eve, so give that one a miss. But do wake up for the fireworks.

We always have a Galette des Rois and go to the Epiphany service at the local church (where they always sing We Three Kings, my favourite).

Finally, Candlemas celebrated the French way means piles of crepes to mark the traditional end of Christmas.

Then I start packing for our annual half term visit to BIL and family in The Alps which is the best week of all (cheese and wine-wise at least)

I’m evidently a bit of a traditions tart. I’ll go anywhere for baked goods, booze and candies.

I adore Christmas so no I really don't think life would be better without it.
The things I love most are ....
The music (carols, mass, festive playlists and children's nativities) and church
Putting up the tree and decorating the house to be twinkly and pretty
Giving and receiving cards and hearing from friends and family
The foods we like and the things that only really get made or eaten at Christmas
A good Christmas jumper (I've had a couple for years) and wrapping up warm for a decent walk in the cold
Some TV and radio treats
The peace of Christmas Eve when I have an hour on my own and can raise a toast to those who are no longer here to share it

I'm 48 years old and I remember two white Christmases! December usually features mild weather and mud - lots of it.

Basically it's the out of control pressure to spend and buy total tat I can't stand. In my town there's a very active Plastic Free movement - the small businesses are really trying. However out of town we have The Range, who sell more and more complete shit every year. Stuff that will be used once and then either sit in someone's loft, or dumped in landfill.

Party outfits: I just but a sparkly dress or whatever and they wear that to normal parties as well as Christmas ones.

Santa: we see him at free Christmas fayres and that's it. We don't do these fancy grottos or the polar express or whatever.

I set a budget with family and friends and we stick to it. It doesn't have to be a massive stress inducing time.

Oh also I start Xmas shopping for the kids in August.

I’ve not read the whole thread so don’t know if anyone else has picked up on this.

But your last part about how your DH is cynical because his mum never made it special for him is exactly the crux of what i@MyDogsPaws is talking about. The pressure on mums to make it special for their children is insane and right here in one of the first posts is the cause of that pressure - children may not grow up thinking Christmas is magical if MUMS don’t go to all this insane effort and cost.

Did you like it as a child?

My kids love any excuse for festivities…it’s sweet seeing their smiles when the tree goes up. I love decorating to the tune of cheesy Xmas music.

we choose what we get involved in. We don’t go big on food anymore, because I don’t like to spend the entire day making food that nobody wants to actually eat. We don’t buy expensive presents. One of my two children is too old for Santa, but I take the other one to see Santa at the garden centre and it’s not too pricey. We take them into london to see the lights…a Christmas market or two…simple stuff. I see it as making some SIMPLE happy memories.

@JST88

I don't think it's really relevant whether she liked it as a child. That's like saying did you like living in a house as a kid when your parents were paying for the mortgage and all the bills. I understand OP. I was terminally skint when my son was young (single parent) and worked full time, as well as other casual jobs. If it had just been inviting some family around for Christmas lunch and putting up some sparkly lights I would have loved it. But the time off work for shopping etc and finding the money to buy the latest games console made me feel suicidal at times.

Why? Because some people struggle others can’t enjoy Christmas? Get a life!

In the past Christmas has been one of the triggers for a flare-up of my MH condition. I love it, but all the organisation (except for the food, which I enjoy doing) is more than I could handle, along with a job, family, and household. Add a certain hint of perfectionism on my part, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Some Christmases I have enjoyed prepping for and hosting. Other years, I have been too Christmas-phobic even to open the cards I received in the post, let alone send any.

Wow so original 🙄

Yes. Just celebrate Birthdays instead.

It's all over the top, stressful expensive and unnecessary.

People are brainwashed from birth about buying presents etc. Hope it dies out one day.
I too was brainwashed but in recent years have not really celebrated.

You have a birthday, that's your special day for celebrating much better.

I much prefer Christmas to birthdays, what's nice is that everybody's celebrating, not just a few people celebrating me.

Christmas has it's flaws but there is something to be said about a communal winter festival.

Load of religious twoddle.Big fairytale.

Just because it's Xmas why have people got to have presents bought them?

Nobody needs a present or presents just because it's December 25th.

Half of them are unwanted and go back after Christmas anyway or are put on Ebay. So much anxiety around it.

Just don't bother.

You need to assert your boundaries. Don't pay for the xtra bits that you aren't getting anything out of. So many people don't bother with grottos or special outfits for parties. It wouldn't occur to me to get my children special Christmas party clothes.

There are non negotiables, I get that - presents for the kids and nice food and drink on the day. But the rest is a choice you make. Just stop it.

They have their special days too though.

If you believe in the fact that somebody called Jesus was born.on Dec 25th why do you need presents on his birthday? you have got your own day to have presents.