To think life would be better without Christmas

[MyDogsPaws]

I really hate Christmas, I know I’m probably in the minority but it’s October and I’m already worried and stressed about it and I suspect I’m not alone!

If it was just a case of putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner in the 25th I would absolutely love it, I’d start thinking about it in December and look forward to having a nice day with my family. Unfortunately it’s not like this, there is fucking Santa and all that entails, school Xmas shows and needing to get time off work for it all, the cost of everything and being skint for the entire winter because i have to spend every penny I earn on presents or visiting Santas ducking grotto, or buying outfits for Xmas parties, and all the rest of it.

Yes I could just tell my kids there’s no such thing as Santa and all they’re getting is an orange and a book this year but that’s not going to stop them feeling left out when everyone else in primary school got a iphone 15 or whatever.

I really believe that Xmas makes life less enjoyable, not more and I’d quite happy ban it it, tinsel and all, for the rest of eternity, AIBU?

I totally agree with your last sentence. People calling someone who doesn't enjoy Christmas a grinch or a scrooge are really annoying. It can be a complex time of year that brings to a head a lot of the problems and issues that people can live with the rest of the year.
It's also not helped by the overly sentimental portrayal of Christmas in advertisements etc. Not everyone is part of a big loving family, all sitting down to a perfect meal, with beautifully wrapped presents under a magnificently decorated tree. I know all ads are aspirational, but this image is shoved at us in so many ways. It doesn't reflect the reality for most people, but most people feel the pressure to live up to this and become stressed every year about Christmas.

OP, I’m with you. Here are my tips:

Dial it back as much as you possibly can and reset kids’ expectations.

Don’t add extra things each year.

Don’t think about it until December 1st.

Put some money aside each month by standing order so you have a nice pot come December. This takes the sting away financially as the money’s already gone. I put £30 a month aside.

Buy everything online.

You do realise that lots of people do actually enjoy things like parties and decorations? Same with school events for the kids.

I understand the argument about excessive spending leading to it being more stressful for people to come up with, but that seems to be widening up into a general viewpoint that no elements of celebrating are actually enjoyable.

The main thing that stresses me out at Christmas is other people in the build up to it - relatives asking me what they should get for my kids.

Think of your own ideas or give money ffs! It’s not my job to think of presents for other people to buy!

This has got to be the most unreasonable AIBU ever.
I absolutely love Christmas, it's my favourite time of year.
Santa, pantos, snow, mince pies, Christmas trees, lights......
You're so far over the line the line is a dot to you. 😁

I appreciate this is easier for me to do as I don't have kids, but I don't celebrate it every year. Some years I don't bother which makes the years that I do feel more enjoyable. Last year DP and I rented an airbnb in the highlands and had a tree, presents and christmas food which we've never really done before and it was lovely. But we'll probably wind up not doing anything this year because of that and do something again in future years.

I love it. I’ve had some unbelievably horrendous times in my life and Christmas is a truly wonderful special time with my family that I treasure deeply.

Joey to chandler 😊

Yabu.

I'm a single mum with a teen ds. There is no chance he will get a new iPhone. He understands what we can afford.

I spend time doing nice stuff that costs little - eg. Decorating his bedroom while he is asleep so he wakes up in Xmas. Home made cake, lots of lovely food. Cycling and seeing friends together. Films and music.

It doesn't need to be expensive to be fun.

I only buy for my 2 children plus a token gift for their Dad and Grandparents (usually slippers).
I bought my Christmas party dress from a charity shop for £7. Brand new with tags.
I love Christmas, being with family, the lights, the joy, the cheesy films.
I just don't buy into the commercialism of buying gifts for everyone.
Each to their own, but this works for me 😁

@MyDogsPaws

I was beginning to think I was the only one! I hate it because of the "great Christmas closedown". No trains, no buses and should Christmas Day fall on a weekend then we have an extra day off. Britain is basically closed from 24th December to 6th January. If forced to take time off I'd rather have extra in the summer.

When working I would volunteer to attend on the Christmas day and Boxing Day [good chance to catch up on paperwork] later I used to arrange holidays. Germany in particular as there is little difference there. Trains run as normal and restaurants are open at their normal prices.

I used to hate Xmas and dread it. For me it was having to visit family which was very stressful. I've moved away now and the last couple of Xmas's have been lovely. My advice would be do the bits you enjoy and feck the the rest. I get that Santa can be stressful as always wanted the "wow" when they opened the presents. I'd say start with Santa NOW. While the shops are quiet. A lot of places do pay by installment now so you can spread the cost. When you do your weekly shop throw in some extras. And feck the family. If you enjoy seeing them that's grand but if it's adding pressure honestly life's too short .OP I'd make a list of the things that are stressing you and cut them out.

Christmas is the only decent thing in 6 months of dreariness.

Ah I do get you OP. I actually enjoy Christmas BUT it is quite stressful as I do everything. My DP are elderly so I do all their gift shopping on their behalf, and want to make things special for DD 9 and 11. I do get caught in a trap of buying endless stocking presents, making advent calendars, baking, Elf on the Shelf .. but the kids love it and I know it won't be magical for many more years.

DH hates Xmas as he sees it as so commercial and everything about the presents, and works with a lot of deprived families who feel under pressure spend money they don't have. He does not want to receive any presents. He is fine to do festive things like get a tree, see the lights etc.

I think you just have to keep it simple and tell people early if you don't want to exchange presents etc. I plan to cut back presents this year - and cards as well, as stamps are so expensive now.

Its a CHRISTIAN religious festival. Try going to church instead? Wouldn't be saying this about Muslim festivals or shiekism festivals etc ie Ramadan Eid Al-Fitr and Eid Al-Adha and Diwali

I enjoyed Christmas when I was little and when I had young children. However the last few years have really changed how I feel about it.

2020 - my daughter had covid so we all had to isolate away from the rest of the family.

2021 - my dad was in so much pain that he could barely get out of bed let alone travel to the rest of the family. My brother was with him trying to help. In Jan he was diagnosed with myeloma (cancer).

2022 - my dad had made good progress with his cancer treatment but ended up in hospital with a chest infection on Xmas eve. On 28th Dec my um ended up in hospital with infection on top of her copd. She died 3rd Jan.

This year my younger children have asked to spend Xmas at their dad's. And I don't blame them after last three years. But it leaves Xmas looking very lonely and bleak for me :(

Hopefully it will get better in the next few years, especially if my children start families. Until then Xmas is pretty much going to mean nothing except sadness.

My thoughts exactly.
As a child Christmas seemed to take forever to come around .
As an adult it seems to come around quicker every year.
I would really look forward to Christmas if it was every second or third year. Or if we could just gather and celebrate without the presents.
I loved it when my kids were little. We didn’t have loads to spend but it’s easy to create the wow factor for young children.
They are in their thirties now and I’m still expected to recreate the magic every year.
The amount of mental energy that goes into planning, buying, hiding , wrapping so they can all feel like kids again on Christmas morning leaves me weary.
The environmental impact and waste is also substantial as well as the pressure on families who end up facing debt in January. We all fall for the marketing hype around creating a perfect Christmas.

The thing I'm looking forward to most is my son's first nativity. He has additional needs so may not join in but I'm still looking forward to seeing him dressed up even if he doesn't really join in.
I used to love Christmas but I'm working most of it this year so am not looking forward to much at all. For me the best thing was time off work with DH and the kids so I'm really sad about that.
Generally though we don't go all out at Christmas. Tree, nice food and drink, one main present for each child and just a couple of extra bits. Time as a family, watching Christmas films and eating Christmas chocolate is what I love.

I love Christmas. If I didn't have children I might not, but I just love their excitement and making it special for them. Not the gifts (although Christmas morning is obviously the highlight for them!) but putting the tree up, the dark nights, making Christmas decorations etc.

Oddly I don’t like Christmas but I do like winter so maybe that’s why I don’t feel the need to have a celebration in the middle to break it up. I love the dark nights and bad weather. Noting makes me happier than going for dark snowy run with my head torch, I look forward to it all year, and would rather do that than go Xmas shopping any day!

also just to clarify I don’t buy party outfits for myself and would never attend a Christmas party! but I am obligated to buy for my kids every year as they tend to grow out of party outfits over the year.

You needto spend Christmas in a country that does not sign up to Disney.
Try www.seitenalm.at
where we spent 2 lovely Christmases, no commercialism, small amount of reflective religion, but basically a social, family atmosphere.

New outfits? Never done that.
I get it with school stuff. We have a nativity and a carol service.

Where I live, visits to Santa have to be a bloody experience and cost about £60 for 1 child and 2 adults. DS isn’t interested in an experience; he just wants to see an authentic Santa and put his order in.

I am sooooo with you on this. I HATE Christmas and all the expectations. Yes I am well aware that I could ignore all the 'wreath making workshops', santas grottos, social media pictures of people trees and cakes and whatever (and generally I do) but the pressure is so bloody stressful!! And considered to be the Grinch because you don't want to join in with everything with a massive fucking smile on your face and a ghastly knitted jumper. My favourite day of the year? Boxing Day. because you cant get any further away from the next one.... bah!

YANBU Commercial exercise to ‘celebrate’ an event most of us don’t believe in, which incidentally was not in December (March/April I think) but the church moved to December to compete with the pagan winter solstice event. The Victorian’s kicked off the bring a tree into your home idea plus Xmas cards & presents.

whole event is a complete con. Signed Scrooge.