To think life would be better without Christmas

[MyDogsPaws]

I really hate Christmas, I know I’m probably in the minority but it’s October and I’m already worried and stressed about it and I suspect I’m not alone!

If it was just a case of putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner in the 25th I would absolutely love it, I’d start thinking about it in December and look forward to having a nice day with my family. Unfortunately it’s not like this, there is fucking Santa and all that entails, school Xmas shows and needing to get time off work for it all, the cost of everything and being skint for the entire winter because i have to spend every penny I earn on presents or visiting Santas ducking grotto, or buying outfits for Xmas parties, and all the rest of it.

Yes I could just tell my kids there’s no such thing as Santa and all they’re getting is an orange and a book this year but that’s not going to stop them feeling left out when everyone else in primary school got a iphone 15 or whatever.

I really believe that Xmas makes life less enjoyable, not more and I’d quite happy ban it it, tinsel and all, for the rest of eternity, AIBU?

I love Christmas time and so do my kids and I do a lot of Christmassy stuff with them in the build up but I do totally get it! It’s a lot of pressure and sometimes i run around arranging so many Christmas activities for them as I feel bad if I don’t . Silly really , It was much simpler 13 years ago when I had my first, I feel in the last few years it’s got very commercial so I get where you’re coming from x

I just do this. Except for 2020 when flights were cancelled last monute

I agree with you - it's depressing. I spend the entire day reminded of my own struggles to conceive, fake smiling my way through when my heart just cracks even more. Would rather spend the day with my cat, but, obligations. .

YABU. It’s a religious festival so we’d rather it wasn’t abolished, thanks.

It really doesn’t need to be expensive. One local trip to see Father Christmas and one big present and a couple of small things or a stocking for each child, and that’s fine. And a big present doesn’t need to be an iPhone 🙄

We earn well but cost of living and increased mortgage means a quieter Christmas here this year, and that’s fine. Most of DS’s presents are second hand Thomas Brio trains from eBay. Not pricey and he’ll be thrilled. Food for thought.

@Mermaidinmymind
I am so sorry, I know what it is like to struggle to conceive. I was one of the lucky ones who finally managed to do so twice, naturally, but only after 3 of the most wretched years of TTC and investigations, and this was before IVF or anything (not that we could have afforded it).

The first Christmas after my divorce, on my own, aged 60, was sheer bliss. Had a lie-in, a roast beef dinner cooked by me, shared some beef with DCat, and watched a lot of telly, including, most importantly, Dr Who . DS paid a brief visit a couple of days later, and although I didn't know it, an old friend was about to turn out to be The Love of My Life.

There are always lots of MN threads on here at Christmas to read, where exasperated women share the tribulations of their Christmases in real time. There is always someone on MN if you want a moan, or some support

PS You are allowed to have your own special Christmassy day with your DCat on Boxing Day, or any day up till New Year's Eve .

I love this so much ❤️

I spread the cost over the whole year. Either save up and then spend all in December or buy things throughout the year. Doesn’t have to be all at once 🥰
But you are entitled to feel how you feel, just ignore it all if it’s not your thing. Stop spending all that energy being mad about it!

You don't have to throw money at Christmas to make it special, for me it's about spending time with family and friends, and doing things together. We do lots of baking and crafts, boardgames, Christmas story books and films, never taken kids to Santa's grotto because my oldest is terrified of people in costumes but we go ice-skating and to see the lights in the city centre.

You are an adult so can decide what traditions to participate in. It's a religious festival so maybe look closer at the meaning of Christmas?

Fabulous @VestaTilley - I'll buy that for my 16 yr old DS shall I? 🤣🤣 Christmas is very easy when kids are small and much more expensive when kids are older teenagers.

The food is nice. That is it. Plus time off work.

My feelings about Christmas are love/hate.

Hate: I find the preparations and lead up to Christmas stressful and extremely busy with both work and Christmas prep. I also find as my kids get older (girls 16, 13, 11) their expectations have grown with them and I feel a bit of the pressure. I have been planting seeds already about affordability and I think they are getting it. My youngest is still very much a Santa believer so that brings a lot of the magic (and stress) into it.

Love: I love my city at Christmas (Dublin), love the lights, the atmosphere, the pubs, friends and family from overseas coming home, there is such a great vibe about the place. I love Christmas day which I tend to always host, having family around eating, drinking, chilling, I love St Stephens Day (boxing day) staying in your pjs watching films going for walks. I love the downtime after Christmas when we are all off work/ school spending time together as a family when all the manic is over. We often go away somewhere for a couple of days to the West coast of Ireland or somewhere and I love it. Recharge to get ready for the New Year. In Ireland the schools don't break up until a couple of days before Christmas which I think helps because they are at school while you can get things done as far as I am aware they tend to break up earlier in the UK which would be hard. We all tend to go back to school/ work about the 5th or 6th of Jan so loads of time to recoup after the big day

I flipping love Christmas, but most of the things I love are covered by "putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner on the 25th". I voted YANBU, on the basis that your actually meant "AIBU to think life would be better without [all the excessive materialistic bolt-ons people feel they need to add to] Christmas?"

It's easy. I just don't do any of it. I buy DS a few presents and we go out for xmas dinner. Aside from his school performance I'd say that's it.

Don't you think it's a bit more than a religious festival? Have a look at everything that goes on - all the traditions in place have little to do with the religious side of things. YOu seem quite touchy - no one is suggesting they wish to stop you or anyone else celebrating a religious festival, but Christmas just goes so far beyond that. In fact I'd be so happy if it was like Easter - I happily ignore everything to do with Easter, there is comparatively little pressure to take part and enjoy a few days off work.

Sorry mate, love Christmas, always will. YABU

I am an atheist, but I can't tell you how proud I was that DD played Mary in her Nativity Play. (She is slight, with glossy dark hair.) So proud that, embarrassingly, I couldn't help sobbing through the performance I have a video taken by another parent, and DS was one of the 3 Kings - and looked hilariously awkward (he is older than DD).

I love the Christmas story, however, I am also a scientist. The mid-Winter festival marks the Solstice, when the days are shortest and the nights are longest. Can you imagine long ago how scary it might be, wondering if this is the year when the days just keep on getting shorter and shorter, instead of getting longer again? Christmas in Britain is celebrated 3 days after the Solstice, which I reckon, if the weather is good around then, is just enough time for the older, wiser people to notice that, thank god, this year the days have started getting longer again, and Spring and Summer will come again☀

I think the over commercialism of Christmas had raised peoples expectations that things have to be perfect
Families come in all shapes and sizes and are not like the adverts on TV
One example which opens my eyes every year is advent calendars
I'm 58 and I had a simple paper one, a Christmas scene, open a door to see a picture with a double door on Christmas Eve
Now there are beauty calendars costing £100+
My sons had chocolates behind the doors, now there are Lego, playmobil etc
All fine if you want it of course but keeping everything simple and low key is still an option
Doesn't help that shops start selling in September

Are you going to post this on every thread that isn't about death and destruction?

And how ironic that you should choose that particular blasphemy on a thread about a Christian festival.

@uncomfortablydumb53 I'm with you on that.

But it's possible to be frugal and uncommercial, and still have an impossible ideal of Christmas that one tries to live up to. Eg there must be mistletoe. And holly with berries, that you must collect yourself from the hedgerow. I must knit a nice scarf from that wool I've got left over - good present for my mum. (I did start on the scarf...) (I even knitted her a jumper one year. But let's just say it wasn't ready for Christmas.) And those home-made truffles that DH likes - very straightforward and value for money - if I can find the time. A Christmas tree, but not from B&Q - from that Nature Reserve instead if possible (they did sell them and I did get one, but I only managed to achieve this once in all the Christmases I organised).

I could go on...

I don’t find Christmas expensive at all.. but then:

1. I have a Christmas jumper that I absolutely LOVE that I wear to all festive engagements. It’s 15 years old and I don’t see it being retired any time soon.
2. I buy minimally for the adults in my life. I don’t really “get” buying presents for other adults (who presumably, like me, buy themselves the things they want / need anyway?) A book that someone thinks I would love but never have picked out myself is a perfect present etc.
3. I pick up the DC’s presents months in advance - often charity shop, Vinted finds etc. I find it quite fun and ethically I would hate to buy them 10 new brand new items anyway.
4. We have roughly the same itinerary every year of the FC experience (same one every year), carols etc. No stress. We all look forward so much to these things. It’s like the Christmas songs and Christmas films - it’s the fact that we know what we’re doing and it’s so comforting and nostalgic that makes it.

You’re a scientist? 🧐

It is horrible for families that are struggling because kids are ungrateful and their toys are expensive

@Mydogmybestfriend surely that's down to how those children have been raised and not all toys are expensive 🤔

It's not just your kids - the pressure comes form everyone.
When I decided to stop sending Christmas cards - a few of my friends got a bit shirty with me - they were upset that I was blowing out a tradition that they valued.
When I decided that I would no longer participate in the buying of presents for nieces and nephews - the majority lived overseas, it was the parents/ my siblings who got really upset - they liked seeing gifts from overseas and they were annoyed with me for stopping it (as an aside their gifts for my kids were always so awful - they often upset me at the lack of thought - we all got used to the presents being for the wrong age group/interest)
When I decided to cut down on dh and I gifting - no complaint
I then eliminated all presents for adult dcs (they got cash gifts)- that went too far and we decided a Secret Santa would work better and it did. I've gone as far as I can go without a war breaking out.😂