To think life would be better without Christmas

[MyDogsPaws]

I really hate Christmas, I know I’m probably in the minority but it’s October and I’m already worried and stressed about it and I suspect I’m not alone!

If it was just a case of putting a tree and a few lights up and having your family round for dinner in the 25th I would absolutely love it, I’d start thinking about it in December and look forward to having a nice day with my family. Unfortunately it’s not like this, there is fucking Santa and all that entails, school Xmas shows and needing to get time off work for it all, the cost of everything and being skint for the entire winter because i have to spend every penny I earn on presents or visiting Santas ducking grotto, or buying outfits for Xmas parties, and all the rest of it.

Yes I could just tell my kids there’s no such thing as Santa and all they’re getting is an orange and a book this year but that’s not going to stop them feeling left out when everyone else in primary school got a iphone 15 or whatever.

I really believe that Xmas makes life less enjoyable, not more and I’d quite happy ban it it, tinsel and all, for the rest of eternity, AIBU?

well it’s either that or giving him a mince pie and I don’t really want to buy mince pies

Did you have happy Christmases growing up, OP? I love Christmas, particularly now I have kids. But a large part of that is feeling that rush of excitement and warmth that I remember feeling as a child myself, and wanting to pass that on. I also don’t do any shit like Elf on the bloody Shelf and I don’t give a crap

At the risk of sounding all Will Ferrell, I love Christmas for the Christmas spirit.

my children have never expected piles of presents. Christmas dinner is simply done. We don’t go to loads of parties, shows, grottos etc that sounds like hell tbh.

I don’t receive presents from husband or children, I don’t need anything

Britain just makes it too stressful!!

Decorations in shops since August, people talking about it all year round, the pressure to send a Christmas card ro everyone you know, post a present to every single child in the family/friends circle, cook an immaculate roast, provide an even better dessert, plan Boxing day activities..... Why???

The continent does it in so much more of a relaxing way....Tree is decorated with the family on Christmas Eve, lovely coffee and a roast the next day and presents only for the people in the house.
It's time to relax and unwind there rather than saying I'm so glad it's bloody over (which is what the majority of Brits say).

YANBU OP. I used to really enjoy it, now just feeling the pinch and the pressure which takes the enjoyment out if it. It comes round so quickly after the last one the older you get!!

Totally agree OP. Dread it every year. Such a sense of relief when it's over.

Yes!! I've said exactly the same.

I've has 2 pretty traumatic Christmas days in my life.

1 - was pregnant with my first child. Ex decided to go home for Xmas as it was going to be the last one he work spend with family. I had hyperemsis (extreme sickness) and my family were looking after me. Ex cheated on me with an old girlfriend in Xmas Eve. Her partner caught them at it and beat him up. I found out at precisely 7.03am Xmas morning.

2 - exactly 2 years later my dad confessed to my mum that he had been having an affair with a woman 20'years younger than him on the night of Xmas eve .i found out again, the next morning at about 9am. My son was obviously born and was around 16 months old. My whole family - grandparents, aunties uncles etc were coming to my house for Xmas lunch. Myself, my mum and sister all pretended everything was ok and my dad had been called out on an emergency. My mum somehow cooked the most amazing Xmas dinner. It was like living a real life episode of eastenders on Xmas day.

However I stlll absolutely LOVE Christmas. Not so much the day but the build up too it. For me it's a good stress. I love the kids nativities, Xmas parties...visits to see Santa. The pantomime! I love it all.

It's January I absolutely hate.

Even I draw the line at pants and an apple 😂😂 I think any lid would be gutted by that!!
Some chocolate coins, a soft toy and a book though…

Sprinking some breadcrumbs and glitter on the grass as ‘reindeer’ food isn’t expensive

Please don't add the glitter - it can fatally injure our garden wildlife when ingested - it's the last thig they need in mid-winter! Lovely idea but stick to wildlife friendly ingredients.

Don't get sucked in to all the crap. I never took my kids to see Santa. TBH they thought he was pretty creepy, and wouldn't go anywhere near him, thank goodness. Santa gifts were small bits and pieces they needed, books and sox, bath smellies. We've never spent much on gifts either, small fixed budget. We stopped having family round years ago, as everyone just argued. So now, we have a lovely relaxed day, get up late, go for a walk, have a big meal, plenty of alcohol, and sleep the rest of the day. Bliss.

Is this where I admit that I loved COVID Christmas in 2020 😬. So low key!!

Everyone on mumsnet loves Christmas, and has their decorations up for weeks before the festive season. I'm not a particular fan of it though.

If it's any consolation when your DC grow up there is no build up to Christmas at all - no Santa, no Christingle service, no school productions, no school parties or Christmas fairs. It all disappears.

I feel very lucky to have a DP who has no desire to celebrate Xmas at all (having grown up in a country where it just didn't happen), having not celebrated it myself since I reached adulthood as an atheist.

To my mind, it feels a bit hypocritical to make such a big thing about Xmas if you aren't a practising Christian. And if you are a practising Christian, surely you'd want to swerve the consumerism and tat and try to make it a positive family-and-faith-focussed celebration of Christ's birth?

For those who just want to treat the occasion as a non-religious restful time to spend with family, that's great. Why not create some new traditions of your own, eg with an emphasis on home-made gifts and food, recycled arts and crafts, special simple treats and games that involve spending time together instead of just spending money?

Having deliberately given up Xmas, I find late December a peaceful time of the year. It's nice to have a couple of days with significantly less traffic/ pollution, I'm perfectly content doing stuff at home and can live without shopping for a week. We don't bother eating particularly 'Xmas' food, just eat as normal. I'd highly recommend this approach to anyone who thinks they can (it helps if you're child-free or your child is still a baby with no expectations)

I agree OP, I'd happily abolish Christmas too. It's just an irritation that comes around every bloody year.

@Miriam101 yes I enjoyed Christmas when I was a child, we went to my grans every year and had a lovely time! We didn’t really get presents though and I can remember always being very disappointed although I know I tried hard to conceal the disappointment. But even back them I knew that we didn’t get the same as our friends and other family members but didn’t really understand why.

I agree with you but for different reasons.

I find the ‘large happy family around a laden and fun table before a night of drunken games leading into rousing walks in the country’ narrative extremely hard when I’m a single 50 yr old ‘only child’ adult supporting 2 elderly, and 1 dying parent.

For the ‘you’re so Bath Humbug’ amongst us: Imagine spending the ‘festivities’ with two people too ill / old to do anything but a normal ‘Monday’ but who would be depressed beyond belief if I didn’t spend the time with them and cook them a meal they can no longer eat.

I’ve hated Christmas and the awful ‘awww, we feel so sorry for you if your Christmas isn’t like this’ attitude for years. Years.

I’d like to go to sleep after Guy Fawkes and wake up on NYD.

I like Christmas because i keep it simple. Few presents for people i love and like. Nice traditional dinner christmas day. Lots of cheese and Baileys. Few frosty walks to look at lights.

Just dial it back

Every four years like the Olympics or Leap Year is a brilliant idea, though I was going to suggest five. I really enjoyed lockdown Christmas when I didn't have to bother. Trouble is, if it only happened every years, you can bet it would start in June and not September.

@Longtimelurkerfinallyposts Christmas has been around longer than Christianity though, just under different name, you don’t have to be religious to celebrate it.

We’ve swoped it for doing experiences/holidays.
We have a very normal 25/12 with a dogwalk and a roast dinner, but have things booked for the year.
No stress, no anxiety, just good times ticking off our bucket list.

We stopped adult presents years ago. We decided to meet up and do something christmassy instead. In terms of decorations/pjs they are bought asap. Things are booked as soon as they become available. Only invitations that will be enjoyed with people who I want to spend time with are accepted. I'm second generation immigrant and we didn't do stockings. Drop what isn't needed. Meal plan etc. I've already got my M&S, Sainsbury's and butcher order in. Then you get to enjoy December.

I shall join you OP,

15 years in retail and deal with the public at Christmas, was enough for me. I celebrate it for DS, but tend to do a really scaled back Christmas compared to a lot of people

Hey OP
I don't think you are being unreasonable
The Christmas pressure starts early!
Shops get the stuff out not so people can plan and "spread the cost" but so they can sell sell sell
I never took my DS to see Santa or do any festive days out and he's grown up just fine! It's not compulsory. There's a obsession with perfection at Christmas and that's why people get stressed.
It's one day in December, I get the way you are feeling I really do!
I married into a family who don't celebrate Christmas although I still do with my side of the family, seeing the side my husband is on, nobody is missing out on anything and I start thinking what's the point of still doing it.

My DS is much older now, and we just have a chilled out day! Few gifts, walk, and basically a Sunday roast! TV specials/films and some choccies. Best bit no debt come January

I think you should do Christmas how you want and if that's scaled back, so be it. Your kids don't need an iPhone!

Agree, it's a f ing slog helped by wine, I love New Year's Eve as it means it's all over!!!!!