Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL made me feel like a bad mum

228 replies

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:05

I’m a first time mum to a 5 month old DS. My MIL get on most of the time but she whenever we visit she ALWAYS has something to say about my parenting.

My DS is my entire world and I’m trying to be the best mum I can. Last week I brought DS to MIL house and she changed his nappy and said ‘those jeans are too tight on him I’m not putting them back on him!!’ And proceeded to talk about how people try and get too much wear out of baby clothes

firstly, my baby is average sized and the jeans were 3-6 months and fitted him fine. They were loose on his waist and legs and he was comfortable and they were fleeced lined.

secondly, I don’t like putting joggers or leggings on my DS, I think they’re cheap looking and so he wears cargos, Jeans, chinos etc and I take pride in what he wears.

the whole afternoon she kept going on about his jeans and about how awful it was to put him in jeans and how he was more settled when they were off….he wasn’t; his legs were freezing

I feel like she scrutinises everything I put on him to the point where I don’t want to go to her house anymore!

aibu?

OP posts:
PosteriorPosterity · 11/10/2023 21:52

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:41

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

He 100% looks like a chav. There is no way a baby is wearing these items and not looking chavvy.

Hercisback · 11/10/2023 21:56

Jeans and chinos? Is your baby a management consultant?

😂😂😂😂😂

Hercisback · 11/10/2023 21:57

He's 5mo, course you aren't putting him in trainers!

Jeans are the worst look for a baby imo.

Vinrouge4 · 11/10/2023 22:03

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:41

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

You make him sound like a fashion accessory.

Moveoverdarlin · 11/10/2023 22:04

I can’t stand babies in jeans, I’m with MIL. Sorry, but I also think they look chavvy.

CoffeeLover90 · 11/10/2023 22:22

I was on your side until the trainers and chav comment. Of course its your choice of clothing but really, no need to indirectly snub how others dress theirs.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 11/10/2023 22:26

Splitscreened · 11/10/2023 20:47

Crufts!

Show quote history

I must admit @Splitscreened that @Littlepetites first post immediately made me think of all those people who used to have (I am really hoping that the trend has slowed down) little dogs that were dressed up in ridiculous human type clothes, and if small enough carried around in their handbags. If questioned they would say things like "oh but little Kutchems loves it, in fact he sits there with his big soulful eyes begging me to dress him up!"

In my opinion there is nothing more naff or chavy looking than dressing babies or dogs to look like little adults. By the way, I don't mean it makes the babies or dogs look naff or chavy - it is the parents or owners who look stupid. To me babies and dogs always (well nearly always for dogs) look gorgeous.

Echobelly · 11/10/2023 22:29

My MIL could be very critical - but sometimes it helps if you imagine how you would take the same 'advice' coming from someone you have a better relationship with. I found that helped avoid resentment as sometimes I realised, you know what, I'd accept that if it were my mum saying it so I shouldn't be offended at MIL saying it.

Ahjaysus23 · 11/10/2023 22:30

It's the one time in his life he can get away with wearing a onesie all day and no one thinks he's a slob. Let him wear nice, soft clothes. Plenty of time for jeans when he's older!

TheShellBeach · 11/10/2023 22:32

ZickZack · 11/10/2023 21:09

I take pride in what he wears.

This is so bizarre. Why?

And what's wrong with a long sleeved top and some comfy grey joggers? It's a baby. They don't give a stuff what they look like! They need loose, comfortable fitting clothes because that's more important than what they look like.

Good luck taking pride in what your child wears when he's two and covered in tomato sauce and mud :)

Grin
Cuttysark4321 · 11/10/2023 22:32

Chinos?! On a 5 month old!! Why do people dress babies like adults? They should be in soft comfortable clothes. Check out baby mori.

Sparkleshine21 · 11/10/2023 22:32

Babies dressed like 20 year old men look ridiculous 😂 just put him in a baby grow or some soft leggings and tops and he will thankyou, he literally does not give two shits how he looks.

TheShellBeach · 11/10/2023 22:36

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:41

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

Erm.......

Sparkleshine21 · 11/10/2023 22:39

You were saying…

MIL made me feel like a bad mum
JustAMinutePleass · 11/10/2023 22:40

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:41

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

Lol you have described a chav exactly with this outfit.

GreyGoose1980 · 11/10/2023 22:42

Jeans aren’t appropriate for a five month old. Sorry OP but you need to focus more on your child’s comfort rather than your ideas about what looks ‘cheap’.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 11/10/2023 22:48

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:41

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

Most of the troublesome youths around here dress like that...

Fingeronthebutton · 11/10/2023 22:48

Where on earth are you in the UK that a 3month old baby is wearing fleese lined denim jeans. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Bugbabe1970 · 11/10/2023 22:52

Another no to the jeans sorry

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/10/2023 22:52

He's your baby, dress him however you like.

Mine has jeans too, they are soft and flexible. Nothing like adult jeans, though I imagine some brands probably are.

Lifeomars · 11/10/2023 22:53

ElleCapitaine · 11/10/2023 21:22

Jeans and chinos? Is your baby a management consultant?

Tea spitting comment!

Mumwithbaggage · 11/10/2023 22:55

Your baby your choice.

But I think jeans and chinos look really awful and cheap - however much they cost - on babies so young.

NeverWornACropTop · 11/10/2023 22:55

Littlepetites · 11/10/2023 20:10

For the record I only put him in fleece lined jeans so they are comfy on him

Was he maybe a bit hot? It’s been really mild here all week. Fleece lined is more wintery tbh. Cool skin doesn’t necessarily mean he feels cold.

Most older parents like to pass on tips or what they did with their babies, it’s not necessarily criticism of you as a mum. I’m sure she thinks you are doing a marvellous job.

Hankunamatata · 11/10/2023 22:56

She doesn't like outfits that's all. I prefer babygrows. Plus he is 5 months, you don't need to take pride in what he wears - he is a baby not a doll.

GreyGoose1980 · 11/10/2023 23:00

Lifeomars · 11/10/2023 22:53

Tea spitting comment!

Show quote history

Agree - this is one of the funniest MN comments I’ve read!