MIL made me feel like a bad mum

[Littlepetites]

I’m a first time mum to a 5 month old DS. My MIL get on most of the time but she whenever we visit she ALWAYS has something to say about my parenting.

My DS is my entire world and I’m trying to be the best mum I can. Last week I brought DS to MIL house and she changed his nappy and said ‘those jeans are too tight on him I’m not putting them back on him!!’ And proceeded to talk about how people try and get too much wear out of baby clothes

firstly, my baby is average sized and the jeans were 3-6 months and fitted him fine. They were loose on his waist and legs and he was comfortable and they were fleeced lined.

secondly, I don’t like putting joggers or leggings on my DS, I think they’re cheap looking and so he wears cargos, Jeans, chinos etc and I take pride in what he wears.

the whole afternoon she kept going on about his jeans and about how awful it was to put him in jeans and how he was more settled when they were off….he wasn’t; his legs were freezing

I feel like she scrutinises everything I put on him to the point where I don’t want to go to her house anymore!

aibu?

You seem to care more about your pride and the way your baby looks rather than their comfort, I don't blame your MIL.

You are not a bad mum and I'm sure she is not trying to suggest that by commenting....but I do remember watching a work friend squeeze her very unsettled baby into a pair or stiff jeans and it pained me to watch....I think your MIL may just want the baby to be comfortable as bloated baby bellies can be super sensitive.
If you otherwise have a good relationship maybe let it go, if she undermines you continuously then remember that your partner/husband is her child and should be able to communicate this with her, it's then his job to do some work on making sure she heeds your boundaries x

Tough one to judge based on this particular example. You shouldn’t be feeling like a bad Mum, however it seems like your MIL was concerned DS clothing is too restrictive.

He’s not an accessory and dressing him up and feeling proud of his outfits doesn’t seem very mature (sorry).

Your MIL could be trying to guide you, perhaps you don’t like her much, so not very open to her suggestions?

Very soft, stretchy materials, if you have money to spend (based on your OP) then soft natural fibres like organic merino wool leggings would be ideal.

Nothing should be fitted to his waist. Unfortunately you can’t really go too much on baby sizes, except as a very rough guide. Some fashion brands are cut too narrow.

He could be average and 3-6 months could easily be too small for him. I think I used that size in the first 3 months and generally ‘aged’ up by 3-6 months, most people did the same. Some brands cut more generously for cloth nappies though (they will say that).