MIL made me feel like a bad mum

[Littlepetites]

I’m a first time mum to a 5 month old DS. My MIL get on most of the time but she whenever we visit she ALWAYS has something to say about my parenting.

My DS is my entire world and I’m trying to be the best mum I can. Last week I brought DS to MIL house and she changed his nappy and said ‘those jeans are too tight on him I’m not putting them back on him!!’ And proceeded to talk about how people try and get too much wear out of baby clothes

firstly, my baby is average sized and the jeans were 3-6 months and fitted him fine. They were loose on his waist and legs and he was comfortable and they were fleeced lined.

secondly, I don’t like putting joggers or leggings on my DS, I think they’re cheap looking and so he wears cargos, Jeans, chinos etc and I take pride in what he wears.

the whole afternoon she kept going on about his jeans and about how awful it was to put him in jeans and how he was more settled when they were off….he wasn’t; his legs were freezing

I feel like she scrutinises everything I put on him to the point where I don’t want to go to her house anymore!

aibu?

secondly, I don’t like putting joggers or leggings on my DS, I think they’re cheap looking and so he wears cargos, Jeans, chinos etc and I take pride in what he wears.

seems like you’re the type to judge other people but hate feeling judged yourself…

Your baby so your choice but yes, you are being unreasonable to favor fashion and looks over comfort when it comes to a baby. Jeans (irrelevant of the cut/thickness) are just not great for babies. Your baby will look just as cute in comfy clothes and will also move more comfortably. I am an adult, and started wearing jeans again in the last couple of weeks after the summer and it just hit me how uncomfortable (and cold) jeans are!

Picking jeans for your baby doesn’t make you a bad mom though, at all, but it might lead to people thinking you favor the wrong thing (baby looking a certain way) over what’s technically best for them and their growth. I personally wouldn’t care nor comment if I saw you and baby but could see how a close relative might mention something. I mean there is a reason why even older kids rarely wear jeans, and that’s because they aren’t fit for purpose most of the time.

I'm with your MIL on this one, I don't think jeans are good for daily wear for developing babies.

I think most mums find it hard seeing babies in trendy clothes rather than comfortable clothes and do feel sorry for them. Your MIL is clearly struggling knowing that you are putting the babies trend setting credentials ahead of their comfort. And fleece lined or not, jeans are restrictive and uncomfortable for little babies. To be a good Mum isn't about worrying whether other people think their clothes look cheap. YABVU.

It's not her place to say, but she's right.

You are being ridiculous and stuck up saying leggings and joggers look cheap. Dress your baby like a baby and let him be comfy.

Completely agree. Mine were constantly in need of nappy changes and I loved babygros for that reason. I could 'dress it up' with a jacket or top but tbh we didn't really go out to anywhere needing to be smart. And they are babies !
While I'm here, please don't put 'trainers' or anything similar on their feet til they've been walking unaided for several weeks. Podiatry training speaking here. But that is for another thread.

I wouldn’t put a baby in jeans (fab for toddlers but not babies) but I’d also never criticise my dc if they put my grandchildren in them. Not my place to insert my unwanted opinion. I’m expressing an opinion here because you’ve asked.

Jeans and chinos on a 5 month old? Fleece lined or not YABU.

Sorry, but I think YABU. Jeans and chinos aren't appropriate for babies. They should be in soft, stretchy, comfortable clothing. It's got not hing to do with having pride in your baby's appearance and everything to do with their comfort and ability to move freely.

I think your MIL is entirely right in this instance.

I think jeans on a baby are always going to get comments. People have their own ideas about what babies should be wearing and it's hard seeing a baby in clothing that you deem uncomfortable/ unsuitable.

If you're happy with them then just ignore her.

Hah! I was ready to agree with you reading the title.

However, I do feel rather strongly a baby should be dressed for ultimate comfort. And if it was a baby I love - grandchild, nephew, niece, etc- I'd prob find it very difficult not to say anything too.

You do realise you have a baby, not a fucking fashion accessory? Put your baby first instead of dressing a 5 months old in bloody jeans and chinos to show him off 🙄 I’m team mil.

Have you got another example of what she does? Because #TeamMIL on jeans I'm afraid.

I thik a lot of older people think babies dressed up like little fashion statement trendy adults looks weird. They think babies should wear baby clothes and they should be dressed for comfort not parent's style preferences.

But at the end of the day it is your baby, you can dress him in anything you want - regardless of how comfortable or uncomfortable it is or how appropriate or inappropriate most people would think it would be for a baby.

This has got to be a joke, right?

Oh dear

This with bells on.

Sorry, OP, you can take pride in your son's clothes and still dress him appropriately. Jeans are not a good choice for a baby.

Wow, what a disgusting attitude. YABVU.

TEAM MIL.

You care only about yourself, she cares about your baby. Your poor child.

He is a little baby. Think about that. A baby.

You're a stuck up idiot, no wonder she took them off him. A chav? For wearing leggings? Grow the fuck up!

Omg this can't be real!

Babies should be in comfy, soft, stretchy and breathable fabrics. You're dressing your baby like a fancy doll.

She's being rude, but you're setting yourself up for it by putting your baby in ridiculous clothes. Babies need soft, comfy clothes that are suitable for sleeping and rolling around, not clothes for children that can walk. My four year old doesn't like even the softest jeans I've tried him in, he says they're too tight and mostly wears leggings.

There are some hugely expensive baby leggings if you're worried about looking cheap 😂

How odd to only dress him in what you would wear out and about! I wouldn’t go out wearing a princess dress, but I would regularly let my daughter go out in one. I think babies and children wearing leggings and tracksuit bottoms is very different to grown ups wearing them. I wouldn’t go out and about in leggings or sweat pants (although I don’t agree that anyone who does looks like a chav). But babies wearing them just look cute. And comfortable!

I think it's chavvier to dress a 5 month old in jeans than in leggings or a sleep suit 🤷‍♀️

Your baby doesn’t look presentable.

He looks silly and uncomfortable and everyone’s wondering wtf you’re thinking and why you aren’t putting his development first.