MIL made me feel like a bad mum

[Littlepetites]

I’m a first time mum to a 5 month old DS. My MIL get on most of the time but she whenever we visit she ALWAYS has something to say about my parenting.

My DS is my entire world and I’m trying to be the best mum I can. Last week I brought DS to MIL house and she changed his nappy and said ‘those jeans are too tight on him I’m not putting them back on him!!’ And proceeded to talk about how people try and get too much wear out of baby clothes

firstly, my baby is average sized and the jeans were 3-6 months and fitted him fine. They were loose on his waist and legs and he was comfortable and they were fleeced lined.

secondly, I don’t like putting joggers or leggings on my DS, I think they’re cheap looking and so he wears cargos, Jeans, chinos etc and I take pride in what he wears.

the whole afternoon she kept going on about his jeans and about how awful it was to put him in jeans and how he was more settled when they were off….he wasn’t; his legs were freezing

I feel like she scrutinises everything I put on him to the point where I don’t want to go to her house anymore!

aibu?

Dressing a baby up like your own personal Ken doll is way more chavvy than putting him in appropriate, comfortable baby clothes. YABVU

Ironically calling people 'chavs' is one of those 'he who smelt it dealt if' things.

Everyone else thinks you're a chav for putting your baby in jeans and chinos.

Gets comfy… 🍿 🍷

I think my previous comment was very kind and fair, but I had to comment again as this has to be a joke. I do not think my 10 month old DD looks like a “chav” (ugh awful word!) in leggings or joggers. She looks like a normal, comfy baby. It is very odd to put a 5 month old in jeans and if anything that is more “chavvy” (again apologies, awful word). You sound as judgmental as your MIL and as if you were made for each other, good luck to your future DIL.

Hate to break it to you but the under-ones in jeans and expensive tiny trainers like minature 25-year-olds are the ones who look, well, like you're trying to avoid.

It's sober 'tober and I'm on keto as well.

Cheese and fizzy water for me <sigh>

Why? Are you concerned about what the other 5 month old babies will say?

Oh I’d never ever put him in trainers. He’s usually in either jeans, cargos, dungarees etc with a little polo collared top/jumper now we’re coming into the winter. Believe me he does not look like a chav.

https://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/brand/tommy-hilfiger/baby-monotype-denim-pants-313655#colcode=31365518

To paraphrase Shabaz on instagram - on today's episode of "I'm Rich, You're Poor", who on God's green earth buys these?

A collared top? Have a day off.

What a tit

This is genuinely hilarious. A chav? He's a baby OP. No one has ever looked at a baby and said cor look at that, in leggings instead of jeans, bet he rides around on an e-scooter vaping all day and listening to rap music.

And anyway it is genuinely "chavvier" to dress a child in age-inappropriate clothing to make them look like a tiny adult. It's up there with massive bows on baby girls and designer shoes on babies to small to stand up.

But having said all this, your MIL is still out of order and doesn't get to decide what your baby wears. You decide. If you want to dress him in ridiculous clothes to appease some inner judgements you have about babies dressing like babies then it is your right as a mum. She should tell her son if she cares that much, and defer to you when you are there.

The fact that you are using the word chav to describe anyone at all automatically means YABU and wrong. Team MIL.

Wow!!! Nice attitude.

A 5 month old doesn't need to be making a fashion statement. He's a tiny baby. Jogging trousers do not make him chav looking

Hes a baby not a fashion accessory for you to dress up

I'm with your MIL

hi there... @Littlepetites I'm wearing leggings... tbh that's all I wear. except when I wear joggers. and sadly I am more than 5 months old.

maybe if my parents had dressed me in chinos and jeans, I would have standards... and not be lying here covered in cookie crumbs... wondering where my life went...

my flexibility is great though...

Well, your MIL presumably does think you’re a ‘bad mother’ because of your clothing choices for your child. It’s up to you whether this is a problem for you, obviously.

She is a horror, Ignore her! She probably still thinks he should be wearing baby grows. It sounds like you dress him lovely.

I will say, she’s behaving like that because you facilitate it. Why an earth would you allow someone to dictate how you dress your child - she took the pants of and he was cold?! If anyone did that to my LO I’d be putting the pants back. End off. MIL would get the message that you’re in charge. Do not let her behave this was. She’ll only get worse!

Who is your 5 month old setting a standard for? Other babies?

I agree with this. My dd is 10mo and I don't bother with fancy clothes, she's in soft joggers most of the time. Your mil needs to respect you though, or say things respectfully.

😂

Over egged this one. 2/10

Crufts!

You’re clearly nuts to think that having a baby in uncomfortable clothing is having ‘standards’

leggings or babygrows are what babies should be wearing and are definitely not ‘chavvy’

You need to stand up to your MIL.

However, YABU for saying joggers and leggings look cheap. What a snobby comment. What matters most is what is more comfortable for your baby, not what looks good for Insta.