What would you tell your 40 year old self?

[Knickerbockerglories]

Turned 40 today..... it has crept up on me, I don't have a skincare routine, I don't understand my pension, I have a toddler but feel like I'm winging parenting him....

If you could go back and tell yourself something at 40 (or younger) what would you say? I feel like I could be doing a better job at life but apart from a box of semi-permanent dye and considering exercise I'm not sure what!

I would say don't have kids, pick an easier job and marry for money. I got the skincare right though- lots of moisturiser from teenage years and avoiding the sun

I really wish I had been more supportive of my kids as they grew up, and realised that they still needed me even though they were late teens/early 20s. I took my eye off the parenting ball a bit when I got to 40, and I started doing things just for me. OP, take another look at your pension. You don't need to understand it in detail, you just need some figures.

@barbarahunter

Cut yourself some slack. Do late teens and young adults really listen anyway?

Pension - check out Financially Fearless by Hargreaves Lansdown - they have lots of materials and are geared specifically towards women’s finances.

Don’t worry about winging parenting, just love and cuddle your child any chance you get. 😊

aaww that's nice of you, and you have a point @Tribevibes

I am in my mid 40s now. I'd love to go back at tell mid-30s me to spend more time doing nice things with my Mum. She's still with me but ill health means she can do less and less and is almost housebound. We used to have lovely odd days out and I really wish we'd done more of them while she still could.

I had a 3 week old baby on my 40th birthday and my 40s were brilliant.
What would I have done differently?
I worked part time until My children were late teens but in hindsight I wish I had stopped work and stayed at home completely until children were much older.
Relaxed more about little things.
Done some exercise - just because you are not overweight doesn't mean you don't need to exercise and long term health might have been better.
Taken HRT.

On the day I turned 40? Start getting prepared for the divorce you're going to initiate in three months' time. Don't try to grow sunflowers on an iceberg. And blue doesn't suit you, start wearing more autumn colours.

Don’t forget your Kegels

If you don’t understand your pension, you can phone your pension provider and discuss it with them. I did this a few years ago and the woman on the phone was very nice about it. She said they get these calls all the time, loads of people don’t understand their pensions and a ten minute chat usually puts people’s minds at rest.

At 40 I would say “Hold on tight, kid, all hell is about to break loose and you will never be the same again.” and also “Get your powers of attorney in order.”

skincare be damned when you lose your health 🙁

Look after your teeth and wear shoes that will look after your feet.

Invest money in your pension and time in the people you love.
Above all things, value yourself and don't waste time on negative thoughts or people who don't have your very best interests at heart.

Don't marry him, be brave and.do it yourself, listen to your gut because it was right. As a mother you know more about your child. Eat less move more, appreciate your youth amd embrace it more.

LEAVE TEACHING

Be aware of changes in your marriage- keep your eyes and feelings open and don't take anything for granted.
Think about where you want to be living when kids leave home. Move now.
Don't keep being a SAHP

Have more confidence in yourself, stop worrying it solves nothing. Yes your going to get old but it's better than the other option. Can you tell I'm learning to chill 😁

What you think matters doesn’t matter. Life happens while you’re looking the other way.

@OccultOctopus same!! Very similar position with my elderly mum who can't walk far. I have spent years driving past places thinking 'that would be a nice place to take her' and I've now realised that I've left it too late as she struggles walking, gets tired quickly, and just doesn't have the desire to do much outside of her usual routine.

Listen, really listen to your children. Look after your teeth. Watch your weight before it gets out of hand. Enjoy your 40s, I loved them!

DON'T MOVE TO LEICESTERSHIRE.

Still 33 at the moment. But what I will say to my future self is that I hope the choices I make now, make you happy in the future.

The lottery numbers

I'd tell her to exercise and get in shape, because it was going to catch up with her a lot quicker than she thought.
I'd also tell her that lockdowns were imminent, so buy a load of lazy spa hot tubs to sell 🤣

Don't get fat

Give your Dad a big hug. Give up on the idea of a third child and enjoy your existing kids. And don’t have a creamy sauce with your fish.