What would you tell your 40 year old self?

[Knickerbockerglories]

Turned 40 today..... it has crept up on me, I don't have a skincare routine, I don't understand my pension, I have a toddler but feel like I'm winging parenting him....

If you could go back and tell yourself something at 40 (or younger) what would you say? I feel like I could be doing a better job at life but apart from a box of semi-permanent dye and considering exercise I'm not sure what!

Yes. It's sad, isn't it?

The trips we did take now provide memories and things to remember and laugh over. I wish we had three times as many stories to tell now there seem to be so few new 'adventures' together.

Don’t fall in love with that man. He’s not your second chance, he’s going to break your heart. Try and hang on to your friendships, it’s not that easy to make new ones as you get older. If you’re going to change careers do it now. Sort out your pension. Don’t let the weight creep up. Spend time with your mum while you can.

Ha ha ha love this.. and toilet roll

I'd say watch out for the rollercoaster of hormones, be kind to yourself and enjoy the ride.

Oh and don't fall for married men.

Amen to that.

If you’re overweight, lose the weight now. It will only get harder as you get past 45.

Pay as much as you can into your pension. When you get to your mid 50’s you may want to retire early.

This is a great thread thank you.
To the people who've got into lifting weights after 40, how did you do it? Did you join a gym or can you do it at home? And what if you have a weak pelvic floor - would it make it worse?
It sounds like a really good idea, I've no idea where to start.

@MonChoufleur123 , Get advice about how to start.
More lifting lighter is so much better than a few heavier lifts.

Don't stop running for more than a week.

Eat smaller portions.

Spend time more time with Dad.

Wear sun cream every day, do more exercise, and stop investing too much of yourself in people who don't reciprocate. I'd tell myself to be brutal and make the brave decisions. Most of all, I'd understand that time is rushing by. Treasure your DCs, DH, DPs.

Divorce now, it will get so much worse. Ask your parents everything you ever wanted to know about your family history, your grandparents etc, they'll be gone or unable to answer before you realise there's so much stuff you don't know. That's it for me.

I needed to read this

Be more ambitious and do it now!

Leave now and take the kids as far away as possible. It doesn't matter that there are 5 of them and they're all ND. You'll be so much happier and you'll save all of you an extra 20 years of trauma.

I'd tell my 40 year old self what perimenopause is, because noone told me that could be why I was so exhausted, had brain fog, mood swings, etc., not even GPs or therapists or my mother!

Its really ok to be single, dont put up with shit purely because you're scared of being alone!
Oh and look after your teeth - find he money to visit the dentist regularly!

Stop fucking dieting!! You may not be as slim as you were 10 years ago but you will be another 3 stones heavier in 10 years as a result of failed diets! By that time you'll be menopausal, your metabolism will be fucked and it'll be damn near impossible to shift. Be happy with yourself as you are, focus on fitness and weight maintenance.

Push through the awkwardness with your parents. You're a grown up now and can sculpt a better relationship. They wont be around much longer and you'll all benefit from having a bit of fun together.

Watch out for signs of that eating disorder your DD is going to develop.

Do NOT spend the night of your 40th listening to your drunk sister crying! Stick to your guns and spend the day/night with your DH and DC as you wanted to.

trust in the process- it will be tough but life changing when your home is renovated in 12 months time

it gets harder before it gets easier with everything unfortunately

keep the copper hair it suited you

Yoga. It’s the answer to everything - flexibility and strength - Even if it’s just that woman on YouTube. And put your phone down and talk to your kids. I’ve been watching videos of mine from a few years ago and to my dismay I can see I’m often distracted when they’re talking to me or looking at my phone. Now my DSs are grown up and rarely at home and I would love that time again. Happy birthday

I would tell myself:

The pandemic is going to cause lockdowns in one month so don’t just go to the local Italian with your DH for your birthday, go all out and really celebrate turning 40.

Just because people smile at you and listen to you doesn’t mean they are your friends and are not gossiping and laughing at you.

Don’t put off moving house. Get the house ready now and sell when the housing market booms.

Save during the pandemic instead of wasting money on lots of crap from Amazon.

Listen to your gut instinct, it has never been wrong yet.

I'm younger than 40- if I end up employed and have had a baby/have a toddler when I'm 40, I'll be really happy!

That you will end up giving up your career for your child with disabilities, you will divorce your cheating husband, and lose a lot of friends and family who won’t bother to make the effort when you can’t as much.

But that it will all be okay and you’ll find a new blossoming career and a great close relationship with your kids, even if financially it’s all a bit Pete Tong!

I’d say enjoy life … appreciate who you are, don’t compare yourself to anyone else, don’t worry …

I would tell 40-year old me to go with my gut instinct and ditch the guy who ended up ghosting me right after my birthday.

And that in two days, I would meet the man who would eventually give me more orgasms in a year than I’d had in the previous 20 years 😳😳😳

Oh, and to fix my mortgage rate earlier instead of wasting time trying to buy a house that I couldn’t afford to buy in the end.