Childless comment

[Spencer0220]

I'm 35. I've known since I was a teenager that having my own children wasn't a possibility. I haven't ever quite come to terms with it.

My little sister has 5 kids. The last being a mixed set of twins, two at Christmas. That would also be her only girl.

It's been a tumultuous relationship with my sister, but finally we are close.

She's always made a big thing of understanding my feelings about infertility and allowing me and DH a close relationship with her kids.

To the dilemma.

I have bought all the kids clothes over the years and always made sure to buy what their mum wanted. For Christmas I was super excited to buy baby girl a dress because I haven't bought dresses before. My sister told me the size and despite me asking multiple times, didn't have a style preference. She also said Vinted was fine, as she knows im fussy about quality.

So I bought a dress that DH and I both liked.

My sister HATED it and asked me to cancel the order. Which I did. To be honest, she was pretty vile about how much she hated the design. Fine, I understand. No problem.

But then she asked me if I could see her daughter in that. I can. She's worn colourful prints before. I said I'd dress my kid in that.

And that's when she said "well thank God you don't have children because you would dress them horribly."

I came off the phone and cried.

I don't mind honestly that she hated the dress.

But when she was glad I didn't have kids it broke my heart. AIBU?

I'm honestly scared to buy another dress.

That's awful knowing about your fertility struggles.
Why hasn't she apologised? I would let DH send the message. She can't treat you like that.

@Britpoplady You have got to be a troll or a sociopath to say something so purulently vile and abhorrent to the OP

What a horrible comment. Hope you ok

"well thank God you don't have children because you would dress them horribly."

What a bitch.

Zero sensitivity in your post!

Half the point is that the sister has children and OP can’t.

Also, people without children can be very busy and either way it is not an excuse to be so hurtful.

Crazy thing to say to you.

What was the outfit?

You bought a hideous dress and your sister had an awful foot-in-mouth moment. Can't you both laugh about this together?

well thank God you don't have children because you would dress them horribly

I'm another who isn't buying the she didn't mean it view. It doesn't pop out of nowhere. It's what she thinks of you.

So sorry you had to listen to that.

The skirt is lovely.

Seems that post has been deleted. It was nasty.

You must remember your sister is way busier then you

Didn't take long, did it?

Sorry, OP. That's an awful thing to say. I would just send a voucher. Don't spend any more time on finding another dress.

My Sister was like this during my infertility struggles. Once the seal is broken and that first comment made it will lead to more. She has her ‘precious’ daughter and will probably not be as willing to allow you to have a close relationship with her as she does her sons. For your sake I’d take a big step back and leave her to it.

Maybe OP finds Matalan good quality?

I do find it strange as well and probably would raise an eyebrow if someone bought DS second hand summer clothes as his Christmas presents unless they were incredibly relevant to something else (ie his favourite band on a t-shirt)

Just seen it. There is no need to be nasty if she didn't like it. Awful.

Thank you

Given that she's been supportive of you and this comment is out of character I'd put it down as her being tactless rather than mean. In other words she unintentionally goofed up.

I have an uncle who does this alot..so much so we now tend to let it slide rather than say anything to him.

Definitely have a word with her OP.

My sister once said to me, “If you had kids, who would take care of who?

Putting aside the atrocious grammar, it was a shitty thing to say and it’s stayed with me for the last 45 years.

Just file it away, @Spencer0220-
Regardless of whether or not she apologises, the damage is done — she can’t unsay these hurtful words and you’ll be hard pressed to forget them.

I’ll never understand why people have to go out of their way to be so cruel.

Thank you.

I'm a complete softie when it comes to her kids. I'll make sure they have everything before I buy for myself.

I know I probably shouldn't risk another dress, but I feel like I'd miss out by not buying her something and having that experience of buying for a girl. Am I being silly and overly emotional?

I think it's lovely!

I like to see small children in bright colours (I know there's nothing wrong with pastels, but they're pretty ubiquitous).

Is it the style rather than the colour/ pattern she was so against? It's very summery. (Though it could be worn with a little jumper.

The dress is adorable.

No you are not silly or overly emotional! I loved buying clothes for my nieces as I only had a son (enjoyed buying the clothes for nephews also ) but the dresses was a new experience

Thank you.

Just to point out, the twins are almost two. Eldest is 12 with ASD and ADHD, so I get how crazy her life is.

You absolutely don't need to buy a new gift! The baby won't notice and it's essentially a gift for your sister who doesn't deserve one.
That was a horrible thing to say

Fuck worrying about buying another gift, OP. Just give her a bloody voucher and let her deal with it.

Wow she was nasty!

Thank you. She may not mean it now, but she meant it for that second it was said.