Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just a cup

178 replies

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 08:00

MIL lives nearby and sometimes comes over to our flat while we are out (with the excuse of) to drop off some eggs or washing we'd put on her line etc. While she is in she will potter a bit, have a cup of tea and wash anything in the bowl. She is just bored really and we don't mind.
Yesterday we couldn't find DH's favorite mug which I bought him as a gift, hand painted, not cheap china etc. MIL sent DH a message to say she'd accidentally broken it. He sounded annoyed but we agreed its not the end of the world. But I saw his messages later and their conversation went like this:
MIL. btw I broke your mug, i was washing up and it just slipped, sorry
DH. that's ok i didn't like it that much
MIL. worked out ok then!

Now I feel so betrayed, can't even look at him and don't want her in the house

OP posts:
CheersToMe · 09/10/2023 08:02

YABU
He wanted to make her feel better about breaking his mug.

MiddleagedBeachbum · 09/10/2023 08:02

Oh come on, get over this!

He was most likely making her feel better

Sirzy · 09/10/2023 08:02

Sounds like he was just trying to make it so she didn’t feel guilty over an accident.

RachelSTG · 09/10/2023 08:02

I think you're over reacting. You can't even look at him?

DuranNotSpandeau · 09/10/2023 08:03

But he might have said that to her so she wouldn't feel bad. Imagine if you broke someone's mug and they said "oh no, that was my favourite". You'd feel really shit so maybe he didn't want her to feel rubbish about it.

FloraClover · 09/10/2023 08:04

he probably told a white lie to make her feel better that it got broken.

What use would it have been to say “it was a cherished mug, expensive, hand-painted and I’m devastated that you broke it”?!

YABU, sorry

CesareBorgia · 09/10/2023 08:04

Your DH reproaching his mum wouldn't mend the mug.

If this is really about the broader issue of her letting herself into your flat and 'pottering about' that is what you need to address with your DH and her.

Don't get sidetracked on the issue of the mug.

margotrose · 09/10/2023 08:04

It's a mug 😂

You are massively overreacting here.

Sigmama · 09/10/2023 08:04

Her reply was a bit snarky, and it was obviously more than a cup to you

Wolfen · 09/10/2023 08:04

He probably just wanted to reassure her but even so, does it matter if he never liked the mug? He cared enough for you to never know about it.

EatYourVegetables · 09/10/2023 08:05

MIL seems to be doing you a huge favour very often, so please don’t be pissed off at her. Accidents happen.

Husband I’m undecided about.

FloraClover · 09/10/2023 08:06

Also….”betrayed” is a very strong word in a ‘broken mug’ scenario….

Broccoliforever · 09/10/2023 08:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Broccoliforever · 09/10/2023 08:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheShellBeach · 09/10/2023 08:07

Why were you looking at his phone?

readbooksdrinktea · 09/10/2023 08:12

Betrayed is a hell of a word to use here. Either you have bigger issues with your husband, or you're being dramatic for strangers on the Internet.

Abitslow · 09/10/2023 08:21

Feeling Betrayed over a mug Its just a mug move on.
Sounds like he was making her feel better .
YABU

Gypsum5 · 09/10/2023 08:22

Ask him about it. I’d also wonder if it was an accident. Take the key off her, she shouldn’t be snooping around in your home. She sounds like this lot, unpleasant, & nosy.

Sirzy · 09/10/2023 08:24

CesareBorgia · 09/10/2023 08:04

Your DH reproaching his mum wouldn't mend the mug.

If this is really about the broader issue of her letting herself into your flat and 'pottering about' that is what you need to address with your DH and her.

Don't get sidetracked on the issue of the mug.

But if that’s the issue then her and her DH need to stop using her washing line and things too. These things work both ways!

Broccoliforever · 09/10/2023 08:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

cocksstrideintheevening · 09/10/2023 08:26

It's a boundary issue, I get it.

WetBandits · 09/10/2023 08:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OP says that the MIL comes over to drop off washing that they have hung on her line.

Sirzy · 09/10/2023 08:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Yes in the OP she says one of the reasons she comes round is to bring washing they have put on her washing line. So if you don’t want her nipping round then dry your own washing!

WetBandits · 09/10/2023 08:29

Why were you reading his messages to his mum, for a start?

He was probably just trying to make her feel better! Telling her it was his favourite and that he was really upset about it would mend neither the mug nor her feelings.

Perhaps she needs to stop doing small favours for you if things are getting broken. 🙂

Broccoliforever · 09/10/2023 08:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.