Of course you’re not unreasonable for wanting your son to replace the chocolates that are bought for you, as a birthday gift!
Anyone who believes otherwise, doesn’t have good boundaries around acceptable/unacceptable behaviour!
When someone gifts something to someone else, they do so in the expectation that the recipient will have full enjoyment of said gift.
When someone takes something from someone else, they must give it back or replace it. Of course, your son can’t give you the gift back as he ate the chocolates. Therefore he must replace them, like for like.
Expecting someone to replace something of yours that they took, isn’t unreasonable, unrealistic, unacceptable, or inappropriate.
What is unreasonable, unrealistic, unacceptable and inappropriate is the person who took something from you, then either not replacing it, or trying to replace it with something cheaper, in order to save money or what have you!
Teaching your child boundaries is realistic, acceptable, reasonable and appropriate.
To the posters who say that @Newbieatthis is being unreasonable, NO!
This isn’t a 3 year old who doesn’t know better! It’s a nearly 16 year old, who does know better.
And I know that, because from the tone of the OP, they seem to be someone who does teach their children about respecting boundaries!
The (almost adult) son has a job and works. He has money to replace the chocolates and he should do.
Imagine if he took something that belonged to one of his colleagues or schoolmates.
Would you say it was unreasonable that he would be expected to return it, or replace it?
Is it different because it’s his mum?
Shouldn’t he be at least as respectful to his mother as he is to his work colleagues? Or other people at school?
And where would the YABVU posters draw the line?
What’s acceptable in your homes?
Your family members can help themselves to anything?
So if your nearly adult child took the television and sold it because they wanted the money for a new (e.g.) PlayStation, that would be ok?
Or they sold your car because they wanted to go to Ibiza with their friends? We okay with that?
And please, don’t say “it’s chocolates so it’s different”.
Really?
Let’s suppose that these were handmade chocolates and so the chocolates cost £150.
Just because the resale value of your television is greater (used smart TV might get, what? £300?) that doesn’t mean that taking the chocolates was alright or okay.
And it’s not okay to take the chocolates “because she’s his mum”.
Boundaries are there to teach people (usually children but some adults can be boundary encroaching) what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.
The only difference between the chocolates and the television is the value.
But taking either is wrong.
It’s disgraceful that some posters can’t see that.
Perhaps they need to reflect upon how UK society is now and what part parents play in making their community, and larger society, a better place!