To be sad no one cares that Ive retired

[Dinkiedoo]

I havent been in good health for a whike so decided to retire.
Not one person has sent a card. My family the people I worked with for 10 years no one.
Im sad and disappointed.
Im nice to people. Always lend an ear. Always buy little gifts for peoples birthdays etc etc.I am thoughtful and often the one who instigates suprises etc for other people.
I dont expect anything in return but a card or some flowers would have been nice.

Dinkiedoo Throw the alarm clock away, stock up with books, crafts etc for Autumn and settle in for a lovely time.

I was always the one who did the organising for our department ( teachers) and did a lunch or afternoon tea, often
in my garden. When I retired they asked what I would like to do and I said tea in the garden. I said I didn't mind whose we used ( we mostly live rurally in a few close villages and most have large gardens.
i was put out to hear ‘Oh, we will come to yours then’, which would give me the bulk of the arranging and catering to do. I said no, I would prefer to be the guest .

She's 65, not 95!

Happy retirement @dinkiedoo. I understand how you feel. I left a place of work after nearly 20 years, and did not receive an e-mail wishing me luck, a card or even a snatched 'goodbye' from another colleague.

Like others have said, the most likely reason was that I had been off sick for a few weeks, and probably no-one became aware that I had left until it was too embarrassing for them to contact me, or because I had no access to work e-mails, and they had no access to my personal contact details.

It did feel a little unfair. Yet, the situation also made me realise how dispensable I was, and, because I am not quite old enough to retire (nearly there!), I learnt never to think of work as anything more than a way to make some money. Sometimes it is a pleasant and rewarding way of making money; other times it is a drudge.

Retirement may give you opportunities to make friends or to do things just because you enjoy them.

Look after yourself, and have a long and truly happy retirement.

Totally understand you feel upset. Sounds like you were one of the organisers your old work place and the rest weren't up for the job. DH recently retired - it was a place that celebrated everything so he wasn't overlooked. I gave him a card and his friend sent a card with Lazy L.... (his name begins with L) on the front - good job they're good friends.

Do you have any plans for your retirement, or you intend to take time out and relax?

So what? I'm 48 and crafts, books and no alarm clock sound bloody brilliant to me.

Arrange your own party. Work celebrations have taken a nose dive since covid and now everyone works from home.

Wishing you a happy retirement.
Don't let the thoughtlessness of others eat you up.
I retired 6 years ago and had almost the same experience. It took me a long time to get over the disappointment that my colleagues were just colleagues and not the friends I thought.

I wouldn’t expect family or friends to acknowledge my retirement but I would feel sad that my workplace didn’t get me a leaving card.

That says a lot about the workplace and I would take pleasure in never having to work there again.

Ive got lots of stuff to do so will be busy .
Im moving on with my life. Stuff the past and work !

Congratulations on your retirement! I do hope you enjoy it and find ways to keep yourself occupied. I also hope your health improves to allow you to do all the things you always wanted to do on retirement.

With regards a send off, I have found the culture very different in the UK as opposed to Asia and the middle-east. Having worked in these countries previously I have found people a lot more generous with regards send offs both with gifts and send off parties. In my past experience in these countries, people have always been happy to contribute and organise these things either with company resources/employees welfare funds which lots of multinational companies have, or by contributing themselves. Here I have found people not as willing to contribute either time or money and more self absorbed. Maybe it is just culturally different here. An example is how in Asia and the middle east if you went out with friends they would be fighting to all pay the entire bill while here it is always split. Not that, that is a bad thing but I rarely see generosity of spirit here.

In your case I think it could also be that due to your health and absences at work people didn’t realise you had retired. Also some people just can’t be bothered to make effort for others. I hope this does not dull your retirement, you have obviously worked hard many years and you should celebrate this. Please treat yourself and your near and dear ones. All the best for a joyous retirement and good health!

Happy Retirement @Dinkiedoo 🎉

Your work most definitely should have done better! With regards to your family, as you retired due to ill health, could it be that they are not sure how you feel about it? My mum needed to retire at 60 due to ill health and my siblings and I felt we had to be cautious around the issue due to the fact that she was giving up work as a result of not ideal circumstances. They should of course have spoken to you about it, but could this be the underlying issue?

It sound like the transition has been a bit amorphous, and not best managed. You didn't hand over your organiser of team celebrations role!

I'm 36 and this sounds like heaven to me too!

If you've been off sick colleagues often have to pick up extra work, I appreciate that's down to poor management but it can cause a lot of stress. I had a colleague who was frequently off. When they left we had a quiet celebration without her

Family and friends? No it wouldn't occur to me to send a card. Work mates though - yes it's very anti climatic to stand there in the last day and just say 'well, uh, bye'! Your boss should have at least thanked you for your years of hard work and maybe a hug or two, even if no actual gathering.

I think sadly this is the culture now - and I don't think its a good thing - no one values those with age and experience and when they leave those left just close the gap and move on, there is no recognition of contributions as the current generation (first 10 yrs at work) tend to flit every 2 to 3 years and also have side hustles so don't understand loyalty and commitment. Its just not valued so please everyone look after yourselves, make sure you have your pensions in place, don't give yourself ill health working too hard and not looking after yourself. You only get one go at life and these days recognition of contribution is fleeting and shallow in my view.

Agreed. "Congratulations you're so ill you can't work anymore" is a bit awkward isn't it? It would make me think twice about approaching someone in OPs shoes to celebrate it. Difficult one. I'm not sure what I'd do. I'd probably take their lead, and see whether they were celebrating by organising a retirement doo, or just slinking off into the sunset on their last day.

You will have the last laugh
Its 9.30am. I’m back in bed with a cuppa and toast.
After years of my life being ruled by alarm clocks and spending precious lifetime working (patiently) with fcukwits this is the biggest luxury for me.
Your time is your own now. Congratulations xxx

I'm just about to retire and I expect a celebration. The fact that it will be after I leave is neither here nor there

That is crap. All it would take is for your immediate manager to send an email out to your department tellling everyone that you were leaving and pass around a card and use some petty cash to buy a small gift, chocs or flowers or have something ordered online and sent to you.

@Dinkiedoo OP did you see that someone started another thread on here for you, to say congratulations? All the best for your retirement x

Your life is so much more than work and you’ve found out how fickle work relationships can be. To organise a retirement you may need to suggest it yourself or have one strong supporter or things fall flat.
I hope you can move past the resentment and accept that people can be thoughtless and it’s not personal to you.
i’m glad you’re busy and have lots to do.

Happy Retirement 💐💝

I hope your health recovers and that you are able to enjoy your retirement. I am sorry your work colleagues didn’t acknowledge it. Are you sure they know? If you were off sick for a while, they may just think you’re still off sick.

I retired recently and none of my friends or family really acknowledged it although my workplace did.

💐💐