To be sad no one cares that Ive retired

[Dinkiedoo]

I havent been in good health for a whike so decided to retire.
Not one person has sent a card. My family the people I worked with for 10 years no one.
Im sad and disappointed.
Im nice to people. Always lend an ear. Always buy little gifts for peoples birthdays etc etc.I am thoughtful and often the one who instigates suprises etc for other people.
I dont expect anything in return but a card or some flowers would have been nice.

Happy retirement. Make this your time! 🥂 💐

Open an account on Viing and stick a card on for yourself, send it to all your work colleagues. Do yourself a collection.

Agree with all of this.
I retire in January. I'd rather no fuss at all as I will be so glad to go.

i wouldn’t worry. It’s a just a job and people never truly care about colleagues. It’s a sad fact of working life. Enjoy your retirement. Have you got plans?! How exciting.

Happy retirement OP...I can't wait to join you when I retire in December 💃🥂😍🙌🏼

To be honest though...it never occurred to me that anyone would 'celebrate' with me 🤷‍♀️ I imagined (before this thread) that I'd just leave as normal on Friday night...and just not go back on Monday. I genuinely think that people don't celebrate things like this now...I've been at my current place of work for 6 years now (been a teacher for nearly 30 years). I've never, in all that time, seen a fuss made about someone retiring. They just kind of left 🤷‍♀️ We don't even do collections for staff going off to have a baby anymore, which I think is really sad! I'd much rather celebrate that, than someone like me retiring!! After all, I'll NEVER have to go back and will have lots of lovely new adventures when I retire...the new mum will be spending her maternity leave exhausted looking after a new life.

Reframe this into something positive...you're about to start a new phase. Enjoy your retirement and I hope you recover from your health issues soon 🥂🎉💃

I think it depends on the workplace. Some places make a big deal out of anyone leaving. Others just let them leave without a word.

Agree that possibly if you've had a lot of time off and they haven't seen you in a while, it may have just slipped their mind.

I've never sent retirement gifts to family though. My dad retired a couple of years ago and don't think I sent him anything. I think I did take him out for dinner but I would do that anyway

Some of these replies are beyond thoughtless! So what if you yourself wouldn't want a fuss on your retirement? It's not about you!

OP I agree with others that it sounds like you're the sort of person who doesn't draw a lot of attention to yourself, or who is more focused on others - and that does mean that people can forget about you. I am sure you are very appreciated but that unfortunately there's no-one else who has taken the lead to get something organised for you.

I hope your retirement turns out to be a positive new chapter in your life - all the best.

I feel sad for you, too. You're a human being and retirement is a big deal! You worked there 10 years!

Honestly, you deserve acknowledgement, thank you and a celebration (if you had wanted one).

To be honest, because the people I know who have retired are older than me, I hadn't thought to congratulate them but now you have raised it, I will in future. It isn't just workplaces that should do this.

I think if you retire from work, you should get at least some flowers and a card. However, if you have not been in the workplace for a while due to ill health, I can understand how they might have overlooked you. Sad all the same.

I'll be honest OP, it would not occur to me to send a family member a happy retirement card.

Happy retirement @Dinkiedoo ! 🥳🥳🥳

Not a week goes by that i don't check my own retirement plan in some way, either to relent the date or play with the numbers /finances. I can't wait. Your time is finally your own. I hope you have a wonderful retirement.

I'm in a very similar position. In some ways I'm very sad that 20+ years isn't acknowledged but then again I've had some really shitty times with some really shitty people. Leaving without the hypocrisy and fuss is a complete relief.

It's a bit lazy of your work place to do nothing. You should be given a lunch or a card at least for goodness sake.

That sounds like shit OP. I’m sorry. I retired 4 years ago after 15 years in the organisation and 23 years in its parent organisation before that. I was disappointed at the lack of effort to mark it. I did receive a gift, but compared to the hundreds of pounds I must have put in to various collections over the years it was paltry. Think bottle of bubbly and £30 M&S voucher. And about 10 people turned up to my leaving drinks at the pub afterwards.

Don’t let it stop you enjoying your retirement though. It hasn’t stopped me. Still feels like a beautiful dream.

Your time is now freed up to make some more rewarding connections. There will be people out there who appreciate your kind gestures and reciprocate.

Even if it's possible to rationalise the behaviour of others, that doesn't make it right. You deserve better.

I had a leaving do that none of my work colleagues turned up for - except a newbie who didn't realise I was persona non grata - it's horrible to feel rejected or ignored by your 'tribe'.

So sorry about your lack of recognition. Do you work in a hybrid office? I’ve found that all sorts of celebrations get missed due to the working dynamic now. I don’t even realise people have left at all for months! I had a milestone birthday this year and there wasn’t even a happy birthday message on the what’s app chat!

It does stick in the throat a bit doesn’t it?

My mindset has been to reframe it while I am still working. It’s allowed me to not be so bothered about work. I just get on with it and then leave it mentally behind at five. I won’t have a backwards glance when I retire.

sending love x

Exactly.

When my parents retired they joined lots of organisations and made new friends.

Every time I rang them, they were never in !

Now's your chance OP to do all the things you never had time for - learn French, join U3A, go to concerts.
You can get up and go to bed at whatever time you want etc.

My dad always said that he became so busy when he retired, he didn't know how he ever had time to go to work !

i assume you didnt have a retirement Do at work? or leaving meal? did you say goodbye to your colleagues?

i am not sure i would have expected family to send a card but work should have

I retired 2 years ago at 53 and it didn't even occur to me to think I'd need a retirement celebration.

The next Monday not having to get up and deal with their shite was enough and I get that feeling every single Monday since.

I did not know retirement required cards? Am I alone in this?

I’ve had friends retire and just never even thought of it 😬

Happy retirement!

I would expect a card from work but I don't think I'd expect one from outside of that context. I think the explanation sadly is that you were off sick previously so you haven't really had an official last day at work where people would think to make something of you.

Hope you are on the mend and can enjoy your work-free days! xxx

Have your parents or grandparents, or their friends, not retired since you became an adult? The norm used to be a party in work, or a paid meal, but some sort of celebration was paid for by management.
A lot of people then used to have an extra special celebration of their first birthday after retirement. The norm was 65. It's were the saying "not for a big clock" comes from. The standard gift was a fancy mantle clock.
It's really bad that the manager did nothing.

They are not thoughtful, or maybe envious.

you enjoy your retirement and o hope it’s a marvellous time for you.

Happy retirement! I do wonder though, if you have been off with health issues that maybe they didnt even know if this is something you wanted to do- hence it may have felt rather insensitive to send a "happy retirement" card to someone who is unable to work any more, possibly not by choice. That may well be why.

Could you organise a leaving drinks for a few favourite colleagues? It can be after the date I’m sure especially as you have been unwell. Im sure they would love to say goodbye but are waiting for you to ‘set the tone’ as it were?

Were you actually in work in the weeks leading up to it or had you been off sick?

It's usual for people to just "drift away" if they're not present in the workplace, shouldn't be like that, but it's harder to mark the occasion if you're not there and maybe havn't been in much contact leading up to it.

Similar happened to me, not from retirement, but from leaving one firm to join one of their clients. I'd already been spending ever increasing amounts of time on the client, plenty of days working at their premises and even in our own office, I'd spend most of my time working on the client, so wasn't really working on jobs with other staff. By the time I was offered a full time job there, I was probably working there 4 days out of 5 anyway, and in the week or two before "leaving", I was there all the time. "Leaving" day came and went, and there was nothing to mark the occasion because I wasn't in the office. Felt sad for a short time, but in reality, I wasn't there, so what did I expect? Certainly didn't expect them to come and see me in my new workplace. It was just a big "non event" for all concerned. Obviously, I soon got over it because I was busy with the new job, but I can see it would leave a void for someone retiring.

Similar happened again a few years later in a different job, I'd been having problems with the bosses, and we mutually agreed that an instant termination would be best all round at a meeting one morning. I "left" that lunchtime, the condition being that I'd not tell the other staff and just go, which I did, felt really strange appearing to go for my lunch but knowing I'd not be back. Bosses didn't even tell people en masse either, so the other staff just thought it strange I'd not come back, and it was a few days apparently before the staff grape vine informed them all I'd gone and wouldn't be back. So again, no actual "marking of the occasion". That time, I'd set up my own small business, so was busy with that, rather than dwelling on lack of a leaving do.