To be sad no one cares that Ive retired

[Dinkiedoo]

I havent been in good health for a whike so decided to retire.
Not one person has sent a card. My family the people I worked with for 10 years no one.
Im sad and disappointed.
Im nice to people. Always lend an ear. Always buy little gifts for peoples birthdays etc etc.I am thoughtful and often the one who instigates suprises etc for other people.
I dont expect anything in return but a card or some flowers would have been nice.

Agree with others. They might not know if you are coming back or not and aren’t sure what to do

I was told by mum many years ago that you have to make your own fuss and not rely on others. Don't wait for a surprise party and be disappointed when it doesn't happen. Don't down play big changesyour life rather make a thing if it yourself. Invite everyone to a leaving do and tell them how excited you are to retire, but let them that you will miss them all. People are very very busy and need a bit of a reminder!

I suspect it was because you were off and therefore, maybe they werent even aware you had retired permanently?

I get being upset about colleagues, but it wouldnt occur to me to send a retirement card to family members, that seems something your work place should do, not family.

I’ve seen this happen at work- really loved colleagues retiring, leaving or going on maternity leave and getting no acknowledgment and others getting parties and gifts- I was shocked but then realised that there was normally only one or two people doing all the organising and if they were off or something or unaware the week before it wouldn’t get done. Also if the person wasn’t in for a while before those events. It wasn’t personal. For what it’s worth though I’m one of the ones that never gets celebrated for one reason or other- big birthdays, leaving dates.. nothing.. so I know it feels horrible. Have a brilliant retirement Xxxxx

Happy Retirement! Hope you have many years, of better health!
I’m sorry you did receive any cards or presents from your colleagues, but maybe they haven’t realise you have retired, if you haven’t been in work for a while!
You sound like a lovely caring person, it’s their lost that they have lost you from their work place. 🏞️💐

I think this whole thread is very sad, I'd be GUTTED if I didnt even get a fucking card. Its unheard of in my workplace. We've organised leaving drinks for temps who have been with us for a couple of months, never mind 10 years.

Its shit from your line manager OP, as to me, its part of my job to ensure my team are 'sent off' be that leaving do's, getting married, or retirement.

The last person to retire did organise meet ups and came up to the office all week to catch everyone and say goodbye, (as its hybrid and only 20% of the office are in on any one day) we showered her with gifts (a big one from everyone chipping in) and individual cards and gifts from her close mates.

The main leaving do was on Teams, which was a bit shit , but no way even unpopular team mates could leave without at least a cheap card from their department with good luck.

Firstly, this is extremely bad form on the part of your employer. I'd be very disappointed.
As far as your colleagues are concerned try not to see it as an indication of how valued you are, because its typically nothing to do with that. I've known of people who no one had a good word for walk away with gifts and cards signed by everyone, simply because someone had a whip round and stuck a card under their nose, and its easier to chuck a £1 in the envelope that not. Similarly, a very popular woman went with nothing from the team because no one was aware of her leaving date.
Remember your career as a whole OP. The things you've achieved, the good people you've worked with, the positive feedback along the way. The way something ends does not define it.
And the future! It's all ahead of you!

Sending you big hugs.
Maybe it is you who has organised these things previously and there is no one to do it now?
Maybe it is only now they will realise how thoughtful you are - people often don't appreciate what they have until it's gone.
Also cards seem to be on the decline - I personally hate this "I am going to donate to a charity instead of sending cards" - I read that as I haven't got time to write as I love all lthe notes in Christmas cards and hearing from people I just hear from Christmas - maybe that I worked with 20 years ago!!

Happy retirement. Take care of yourself and recover your health xxxx

Yes your work should have done something, but expecting friends and family to celebrate? No OP, that’s not a thing.

Enjoy your retirement @Dinkiedoo 💐

When you say ‘family’ do you mean you worked with people you’re related to or that you viewed your colleagues as if they were your family?

I’m sorry that nobody made an effort but if you were the one organising things, it might take a while for someone else to step into your shoes, if they ever do.

Focus on improving your health for now, and making new friends. There’s lots of groups and activities aimed at older people and don’t be shy about joining them. You’ll find lots of information via your local library, community centre, local Facebook groups and newspapers. If you’re quite techie, your skills will be in demand too.

This is really on your management to sort out, not colleagues.

I remember when I was student, and worked with a massive team there was a collection literally every week and it became really expensive to keep up. They even started doing collections for people who had left years ago and had babies/got married etc. I think its your management who should be initiating this and chipping in the most and making the effort. Its them who I'd be upset at.

I retired after one year sick leave but had been in touch with people from work throughout that time. I had worked there for 17 years and was always happy to help out and many people came to me if they needed anything. My official retirement was known. I didnt recieve a card. I was really upset by it. I had worked with most of these people for 17 years. It does say more about them than me but is still upsetting. I actually bought it up with one former colleague but still nothing. One year on and I have moved on and I am calm and content. Retirement is wonderful. Enjoy yours OP.

It wouldn't occur to me to congratulate a family member / friend on retirement, unless they made a point of telling me

But, I'm not at that age yet, so maybe that will change

Not one person has sent a card. My family.......

A good friend of mine has recently retired and she mentioned a card another friend had bought her. My immediate thought was “oh I didn’t know that was a thing. Perhaps I ought to get one” I haven’t got round to it because actually in my mind it’s not really a thing!

Workwise, I suspect if you are the usual organiser, the others just aren’t in that mindset. It’s crap but I wouldn’t take it personally.

That’s shit OP. I honestly think people have become a lot more selfish and anti-social - I was just thinking the other day that when I left work to have a baby 20 years ago my colleagues threw me a little party and made funny banners/cards and gave me presents. I’m not sure that would happen now. Even my supposed best friends rarely ask about my life and just cancel plans without a thought at the last minute. I sometimes feel like if I fell off a cliff no one would really notice or care! People have become a lot more wrapped up in themselves and happy to just sit scrolling on their phones or watching tv in their pyjamas!

Happy retirement op - if I had worked with you I’d have bought you a card.

I don't think I've ever sent a card to a family member for this, I'd just think "good for them!" and would congratulate them verbally when I saw them. Not sure if I even sent one to my parents or in-laws when they retired. It's usual for colleagues to mark it, but perhaps it is different if you have been away from work for a while.

It's mean and thoughtless of your company/workplace not to have done something to recognise a long-serving member of staff has retired. It's a big thing to retire from work and I'd expect an employer to show they understand that, to say thank you and to demonstrate how much they've valued the person and wish them well. Your employer and colleagues sound very selfish and thoughtless.

Congratulations on your retirement. I hope you have many years of enjoying not working to do all the things you are interested in. There are so many opportunities around to enjoy- my MIL is always busy and loves being retired. And I hope your health improves.

I'm sure it's because you haven't been in work you got overlooked it was nothing personal. Forget about them as they will have forgotten about you , again nothing personal . One door shuts another opens . Go through the open door in to your new life .

I didn't even know sending cards upon other people's retirement was a thing.

The boss always does a collection for anyone retiring here, we all sign a card and give them a present. Everyone gathers around to say goodbye and best wishes. Its the most awful embarrassing moment and everyone hates it. I presume when they get home they appreciate the card and gift though.

Blimey, that was generous!

I'll be retiring in about six months' time. I don't expect a celebration or acknowledgement from anyone. I understand that my colleagues, who will continue to have to work hard in a less and less pleasant work environment, where there is more pressure then ever and with housing and travel costs spiralling, won't feel much like celebrating my escape from the grind. Particularly if I'd been off sick a lot in the last year or so, meaning that personal connections had broken down and perhaps that colleagues had had to pick up the slack.

In the kindest way possible, perhaps you might want to explore your relationship with giving gifts and expecting appreciation etc. Are you doing it in the hope that they'll give back? I'm a bit wary of people who think that remembering peoples' birthdays makes them nice and kind people. IME they tend to be the people-pleasers. As I've got older I've realised that when I gave gifts it was often with the hope of external validation. I now give gifts spontaneously and from the heart, without expecting gratitude or to be told how kind I am.

I'm not planning to tell my wider family or my wider social circle I've retired. I assume that at some point I'm having more holidays but I don't assume I'm of any great importance in their lives. I'll be celebrating inwardly at having survived long enough to retire (I've had a number of contemporaries who didn't) and I'll probably organise and pay for a meal out with close friends, but I don't kid myself that my retirement is considered worthy of celebration by anyone except me.

I'm that kind of age and I would say "Ooh, lovely!" if someone told me they were retiring, but I wouldn't send a card. Maybe she means from relatives that she doesn't see much (dch?).

Happy retirement, OP. I hope it's a long and happy one. Get yourself out there and enjoy yourself xx

I'm also wondering if you've been signed off work for a while, or been seconded to another job because you weren't well enough to do yours?

When someone is fully present and active in the workplace we certainly celebrate their retirement with them, but if they have faded out through ill health, it feels like they had already retired before the technical retirement date, and we sort of missed it? Your family should have marked it, if you told them you were officially retired as of X date.