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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sad no one cares that Ive retired

195 replies

Dinkiedoo · 07/10/2023 23:42

I havent been in good health for a whike so decided to retire.
Not one person has sent a card. My family the people I worked with for 10 years no one.
Im sad and disappointed.
Im nice to people. Always lend an ear. Always buy little gifts for peoples birthdays etc etc.I am thoughtful and often the one who instigates suprises etc for other people.
I dont expect anything in return but a card or some flowers would have been nice.

OP posts:
Dinkiedoo · 08/10/2023 13:20

Absolutely nothing

OP posts:
Dinkiedoo · 09/10/2023 01:38

Thank you guys. Feel much better now.

OP posts:
1988really · 09/10/2023 01:46

My husband retired last year after 25 years for his company! He got absolutely nothing apart from a farewell at a really cheap hotel where he had to foot the bill for snacks and nibbles….I was absolutely disgusted ! He has never taken a sick day ever and worked his bollocks off !!

Twelveisthebestnumber · 09/10/2023 01:56

I had the same OP. Nothing at all. I actually felt upset about it longer than I should have. Now I just relish the fact I don't know what day of the week it is half the time while I go on another walk, download another book, do some yoga, carry on my travels. Happy Retirement!!

Someoneonlyyouknow · 09/10/2023 02:34

If you have been off because of your health people may have not known when you left. Or may have felt it wasn't appropriate to celebrate as you have been unwell.

Also, if you are the one to organise collections maybe nobody else has stepped up. It's a bit rubbish and you must have had a manager who could have done something but you can't make people kind or thoughtful if they're not. Enjoy your retirement and hope your health improves

Californiabound · 09/10/2023 02:37

Didn't even know it was a thing tbh. Happy retirement though, hope you have a lovely time.

CherryMaDeara · 09/10/2023 02:52

That is shit, OP. Flowers

There really is no excuse.

I was going to ask if because your health you have been off work which means they haven’t seen you much over the last few months. But still that’s no excuse.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/10/2023 03:08

Happy retirement OP. People can be thoughtless but it's no reflection on you.
They probably see you as a strong type who 'doesn't need anything'.
I've found it's quite common for the caring to be forgotten about.
They're probably trying to spin more plates now that you've left.

PearlClutzsche · 09/10/2023 03:32

Have an awesome retirement, OP, you deserve it.

transformandriseup · 09/10/2023 03:34

I've never sent a card to family members who have retired but it usual for work to organise something. I've had leaving cards from places I've worked for just a couple of years.

HoppingPavlova · 09/10/2023 03:53

It’s sad that your colleagues did nothing g to acknowledge your retirement. Usually a card signed by the people you work with is the go, so that sucks.

It would be odd for family to do anything though, as they are not your workplace, never heard of family giving retirement cards etc.

decionsdecisions62 · 09/10/2023 04:19

Expectations - hard to manage aren't they. There's a lady at work just retired who moaned none stop on her last day that her team didn't do any speeches for her. She actually had two retirement dos at work! There's you with no one acknowledging it at all. I did say when I retire I will just want to shut my office door and creep out without all the shannanigans. Anyway happy retirement op.

echt · 09/10/2023 04:20

I think you nailed it in your OP. As the organiser of thoughtful gestures, there's no-one to look out for you. It's crap. Flowers

I've been that person in the place I've worked because I enjoyed it. Was it reciprocated? Most times not. In one place, after twelve years of service, I got a single postcard of Turner's "The Fighting Temeraire towed to her last berth to be broken up". Some irony there one thinks. Grin

Any way, all the very best to you in your retirement. I'm coming to the end of my second year and loving it. I don't know how I found the time to work.

momager1 · 09/10/2023 04:30

I retired in April as did my husband. We were moving country. My husband was lucky..the guys he worked with did a guys night out with him, and also his company ordered pizza for the whole factory to have lunch with him his last day. I owned my company ( a restaurant) with 28 employees. I had secured all their jobs with the new owner. I had loaned alot of them money thru payroll advances. I had catered two weddings for free for my employees getting married. I gave every staff member a free staff meal every shift and a free drink (alcohol) after each shift if they were of age. I retired. what did i get? NADA other than several now asking if they can crash here for a week ( I now live in the carribean.) But you know what. I am loving my new life here with my husband, and my door is only open to my TRUE friends (one who I picked up at the airport tonight and is staying for a week)

EmmaEmerald · 09/10/2023 04:53

Echt "I think you nailed it in your OP. As the organiser of thoughtful gestures, there's no-one to look out for you. It's crap. "

I guess it must be this. I'm sorry OP. It really makes you think. I was the organiser of all this in my last place. It was a huge department and when I left, it honestly looked (from the voucher value) like only my boss and a couple of others had put money in. I think no one bothered to even email the dept.

as I'm the one who bought the gift cards, I knew it was a pitiful amount. I was never forceful about getting money either, it was just an email saying "come to my office by x day if you want to contribute".

anyway, you don't have to think about all this now. Happy retirement!

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 09/10/2023 04:54

Congratulations on your retirement! What are your plans/hobbies you'd like to devote more time to?

slore · 09/10/2023 04:58

I may be completely ignorant, but as a 32 year old, it wouldn't occur to me to make a big fuss out of a retirement, especially if it's medical - it would seem like celebrating your ill health, and I would assume that retirement was not a positive for you, rather, something that was out of your control and unwanted. It would just seem inappropriate to make a fuss and treat it as a celebration.

EmmaEmerald · 09/10/2023 05:20

slore · 09/10/2023 04:58

I may be completely ignorant, but as a 32 year old, it wouldn't occur to me to make a big fuss out of a retirement, especially if it's medical - it would seem like celebrating your ill health, and I would assume that retirement was not a positive for you, rather, something that was out of your control and unwanted. It would just seem inappropriate to make a fuss and treat it as a celebration.

that does seem an odd position to take even if you were 22....you'd not want to even give a little card to say bye and thanks? OP wasn't asking for a huge party.

EmmaEmerald · 09/10/2023 05:22

HoppingPavlova · 09/10/2023 03:53

It’s sad that your colleagues did nothing g to acknowledge your retirement. Usually a card signed by the people you work with is the go, so that sucks.

It would be odd for family to do anything though, as they are not your workplace, never heard of family giving retirement cards etc.

To me that's definitely a thing, mum recently gave a friend a "happy retirement" card. I'm sure my parents gave many of these to friends over the last few years.

Joystir59 · 09/10/2023 05:29

I retired yesterday and arranged to go to lunch with a couple of friends after attending an art class in the morning. You need to reach out and make life happen OP. I wish you a fruitful and fun retirement as far as your health allows

Joystir59 · 09/10/2023 05:30

I got a few birthday cards as it was also my birthday but no retirement cards

pinkhousesarebest · 09/10/2023 05:51

I have a year to go and I will shake that dust with gay abandon. Move forward and leave them behind. A new chapter awaits.

RosesAndHellebores · 09/10/2023 05:55

I think retirement's massive. Sadly so few people actually chose to retire nowadays, in my sector at least, I think it's slipped. Most people shuffle of with a payout as there is yet another cost saving restructure.

@Dinkiedoo my very best wishes for a happy and fulfilling retirement. What are your plans?

HelloItsMeHowAreYou · 09/10/2023 06:22

Well if you were as reticent in rl as you are with your one word/no info answers here, they've probably not noticed you've gone.

nettie434 · 09/10/2023 06:32

I agree that the most likely explanation is that nobody has slotted into your organiser role. It's still frustrating. Wishing you a very happy retirement, health permitting.

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