Splitting the bill equally or paying for what you’ve ordered?

[Mamatolittleboy]

Would you agree on splitting the bill equally or do you ask to just pay for what you’ve ordered?

Went out for dinner as a group of 3 couples last night. One couple had lots of wine, expensive steaks etc. When bill arrived they worked our bill / 3 couples so equal shares. Myself and DH paid because we felt a bit awkward saying anything at the table as didn’t want to look petty. However, in the car mentioned to each other we would have got a couple of extra drinks each plus sides for the money we paid on top of what we ordered.

We have a big meal out for a friends milestone birthday soon where there are probably 18-20 people. We know some of these friends will be drinking many alcoholic beverages and enjoying more expensive meals (absolutely fine of course) however are now wondering what we should do bill wise.

Not sure if this matters but I’m currently on SMP so our income has almost halved.

Would we be unreasonable to ask to pay for what we have ordered to save us money or is that petty? Thinking about mentioning it once the bill arrives makes me feel embarrassed however DH thinks we should tell them we can’t afford more than what we’ve ordered.

If your on a budget/limit please just be honest . Just say money is a little short so I will sort my own bill. That way you know where you stand . No surprise. Works out best for everyone. Apart from the ones taking the piss.

Restaurants routinely do separate bills if you ask them to do it at the start. It's no biggie. They're used to it.

It strikes me that a lot of posters on here need better friends or friends who have more empathy or sense of fairness.

When I go out some drive and some don't we spilt the food bill and then the drinkers spilt the alcohol bill.
( free soft drinks to designated driver).

DH's parents used to go out for lunch with another retired couple and they just split the bill. But then another couple joined them and ordered much more expensive food and loads of drinks. The bloke was a borderline alcoholic from what PIL said. The other two couples only got stung the first time. After that each couple paid separately.

Always pay for your own share

Why the fuck should you pay for Tracy and Dave to trough steaks and bottles of wine as you have the risotto and a couple of cokes?

We either split the bill or just take turns picking up the tab. I've no issue with anyone wanting to have their own individual bill but please arrange it at the beginning of the meal as forensically dissecting the bill just ruins the occasion.

Any chance that the judgment on people who order 3 courses and like a drink could be dropped please? I know Mumsnet posters pride themselves on competitive under-eating but there's nothing wrong with treating yourself.

Obviously unless you expect someone else to fund it!

We also take turns hosting with certain close friends. This only works when everyone is truly comfortable with it.

Any chance that the judgment on people who order 3 courses and like a drink could be dropped please? I know Mumsnet posters pride themselves on competitive under-eating but there's nothing wrong with treating yourself.

@Electrictache I live in Yorkshire where pub food portions are huge. Not wanting to eat three courses has nothing to do with competitive undereating at all. I can only manage one course in any of the eateries round here.

as forensically dissecting the bill just ruins the occasion.

No it doesn't. Not at all @TigerQueenie. It is absolutely the norm among my friendship and hobby groups and not at all socially unacceptable in any way. It is obvious at the pubs we eat at that this is the norm as well.

I was referring to posts judging people on necking wine and cocktails and Tracey and Dave ordering steak.

Oh, I see @Electrictache. We don't look at what was consumed, just the cost on the bill. I am very lucky that the people I tend to eat out with have a sense of fairness. No-one takes the piss at all.

It really does. Clearly not to those who do such things but it is fucking tedious for everyone else.

Have your own tab and do whatever you want with it. But going through the bill with a fine tooth comb at the end of the meal to argue the toss over whether someone needs to pay an extra £1 because they upgraded from fries to dauphinoise is absolutely not my idea of a pleasant way to end a nice dinner.

But going through the bill with a fine tooth comb at the end of the meal to argue the toss over whether someone needs to pay an extra £1 because they upgraded from fries to dauphinoise is absolutely not my idea of a pleasant way to end a nice dinner.

But can't you just add it up / keep a track as you go along ?
Not sure why it is so difficult ?

That's not what's happening.
The judgment is for people who do that and then freeload off people who don't - for whatever reason - choose to eat and drink that quantity or such expensive items.

I disagree @ErrolTheDragon there's a nice bit of judgment for people eating/drinking what they want too.

I don't like splitting bills and I would have said something if I was in the OPs position. It's crazy that she paid £40 more than she should have done. So what if it's a bit awkward for some people. I don't find it awkward. I pay for what I eat and drink and I don't forget a tip. I've never needed a calculator to add it up either, it's not rocket science.

I'm generous to my friends. I'll treat friends to drinks or meals out sometimes and I'm someone people feel free to ask for favours but fuck me if I'm going to subsidise some cheeky fuckers eating steaks and knocking back booze.

I simple state I'm paying my own bill at the beginning of the meal.

obviously if its a sharing dishes type meal or a meal where everyone has the same then I'm happy to split evenly.

@TigerQueenie

No one is taking about a £1.

I'm in the split bill drinking camp with certain friends.

But once a month a big crowd meets after a hobby.

Some are teetotal. Others on a tight budget.

My single bill will be the equivalent of two people.

What's the bloody problem with respecting other folks and just paying what you had.

I'm no mathematician but surely it's easy enough for most people to do basic adding in their head.

What? I literally said I've got no problem with people paying just for what they had, but arrange it at the start of the meal rather than interrogating the bill at the end.

There’s not a judgement on those people at all. So long as they aren’t expecting others to pick up the tab for it.

Bitchy and judgmental.

I literally said I've got no problem with people paying just for what they had, but arrange it at the start of the meal rather than interrogating the bill at the end

I think what many of us are suggesting is that everyone paying for what they had ought to be the default position in the first place.
People shouldn't need to ask for separate bills.

I went out with work colleagues 3 weeks ago. There were 10 of us.
Yes, it was easier in that we were able to go to the bar for drinks, but when the bill came at the end, those had a starter and a pudding naturally put more cash on the table, or more on their card, than those who only had one, or the one person who just had a main course. It's not hard to add 3 numbers in your head, then choose what you would like to put as a tip, on top.
People shouldn't be made to feel different, or awkward because they think it is reasonable to pay for what they have.

@TigerQueenie exactly and not so long ago went out with friends who 'added' theirs up in our local and on the way out found out we were £20 short which I paid. Don't know which of the other families hadn't paid enough but it happens pretty often. I'm sure it happens as often as people claim to be screwed by people ordering lots of steak and cocktails. Splitting is almost always easier and not more expensive anyway.

Splitting is almost always easier and not more expensive anyway.

That simply isn't true. Three course plus wine is much more expensive than one course plus a coke.