Splitting the bill equally or paying for what you’ve ordered?

[Mamatolittleboy]

Would you agree on splitting the bill equally or do you ask to just pay for what you’ve ordered?

Went out for dinner as a group of 3 couples last night. One couple had lots of wine, expensive steaks etc. When bill arrived they worked our bill / 3 couples so equal shares. Myself and DH paid because we felt a bit awkward saying anything at the table as didn’t want to look petty. However, in the car mentioned to each other we would have got a couple of extra drinks each plus sides for the money we paid on top of what we ordered.

We have a big meal out for a friends milestone birthday soon where there are probably 18-20 people. We know some of these friends will be drinking many alcoholic beverages and enjoying more expensive meals (absolutely fine of course) however are now wondering what we should do bill wise.

Not sure if this matters but I’m currently on SMP so our income has almost halved.

Would we be unreasonable to ask to pay for what we have ordered to save us money or is that petty? Thinking about mentioning it once the bill arrives makes me feel embarrassed however DH thinks we should tell them we can’t afford more than what we’ve ordered.

I think the thing to do is loudly announce to everyone as you get the menus that you plan to order a lot so are going to ask for a separate bill for yourself. This then focuses the mind (embarrasses ) others who also plan to order a lot but wanted everyone else to pay for it. Doesn't matter if you do or don't then order a lot and stops you looking stingy when the bill comes.

Another tip of mine - if you plan to pay the bill for everyone (it's your birthday or something). Don't tell anyone that this is the plan until the bill arrives on the table. If I had a good friend that I knew couldn't afford it, I'd tell them in advance though so that they'd still come. I'd just ask them not to tell anyone else that I'd be paying.

Would not split the bill. Pay for our own