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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby girls name - is it awful

253 replies

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 21:30

Name changed as its very outing.
i am pregnant and now know it’s a girl which I expected a boy !
we lost DP early on in the pregnancy and I haven’t even had a moment to think of her name.
his family would like it to be in our honour of DP.
this Name - Cory middle name Lee
they want Cory but I am not overly keen on it for a girls name as much as I would love for her to have DP name
I have suggested coralie
and me cause he never had a daughter before and I know he wanted to go have his nans middle name in there somewhere it would be coralie Martha … surname.

or do you prefer Cory ?

OP posts:
CoffeeBean5 · 07/10/2023 22:53

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:49

@CoffeeBean5 yes they live with me full time and will most likely remain with me full time long term.

I think you should still give your baby your surname. It will make things so much easier. I like the sound of Lucy Coralie/Cora (your surname).

Daisybuttercup12345 · 07/10/2023 22:54

So sorry for your sad loss.
Coralie
Coral
Cordelia
Cora
Caroline

SherbetLemonn · 07/10/2023 22:55

I do also think you should seriously think about giving baby your surname.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:55

I do like coralie ( I do not want Cory Lee ) but also I’m still angry, and apart of me no matter how wrong it I that I feel that way don’t even thing he deserves it
and that is the most awful thing to say I’m aware.
everyone else doesn’t have the same anger as me.

OP posts:
NortieTortie · 07/10/2023 22:55

Cora is lovely; I'm not a fan of Coralee. I know all names were made up at some point but Coralee just doesn't sound like a name. That's not meant in a nasty way. Does his surname work as a first name?

SawX · 07/10/2023 22:55

Call her Lucy Martha and use your surname. Your stepdaughter can change her surname at a later time if she wants to.

Niinja · 07/10/2023 22:57

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

oh that's gorgeous! Doesn't Lucy mean "light"? That would be lovely positive choice for her in my view. But, your baby.

SherbetLemonn · 07/10/2023 22:58

It doesn’t sound awful, you’re going through a really bloody hard time and grief is such a strange beast. Honestly love I think you should go with the name you really love, Lucy, and perhaps have two middle names, Martha and Coralie/Cora/Corinne/whatever name you feel suits best. That way you have chosen a name you love to use day to day, but there’s that connection to her dad as well, if that’s something you’d want to do.

Goldbar · 07/10/2023 22:58

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything that you have had to cope with.

Their grief is understandable but this is your baby. I would thank his family for their suggestion and tell them that you will be announcing the baby's name once she arrives and would prefer not to discuss names until then.

NortieTortie · 07/10/2023 22:58

If you want to call her Lucy, call her Lucy. Or maybe something that can be shortened to Lucy -- Lucille, Lucia, Lucinda, then you could give her the middle name Cory. I'm sure your DP wouldn't begrudge you honouring him over Martha.

Scutterbug · 07/10/2023 23:01

Lucy Martha Coralie is lovely x

Mirabai · 07/10/2023 23:03

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:55

I do like coralie ( I do not want Cory Lee ) but also I’m still angry, and apart of me no matter how wrong it I that I feel that way don’t even thing he deserves it
and that is the most awful thing to say I’m aware.
everyone else doesn’t have the same anger as me.

I’m sorry to hear that - would you mind my asking if he died in accident or by his own hand - is that the issue?

EvelynBeatrice · 07/10/2023 23:03

You should please yourself. You're doing all the work! Lucy Martha Coraline is very pretty... no reason not to have two middle names.

OneLittleFinger · 07/10/2023 23:03

If I were you I'd choose Lucy Martha X-Y. That's your choice, his choice and both surnames so she shares with all her siblings.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 07/10/2023 23:04

So sorry for your loss.

I think it’s too much of a burden on your daughter to name her exactly after her deceased father. You’re far from any such thing, but who knows what the future will hold.

Will she bear your DH’s surname or yours?

I see where DH’s family are coming from, but naming his unborn daughter after him won’t alleviate their pain. And it’s too much for her.

Cory and Martha as middle names are nice.

Lucy Martha Cory Surname.

Torganer · 07/10/2023 23:04

Lucy is lovely. Your baby is her own person, as much as giving a memorial name is lovely in theory, maybe keep it as a middle name. Memorial names are a reminder for the people who knew that person, sadly your daughter won’t. Let your daughter be her own person with a name in her own right.

Mirabai · 07/10/2023 23:04

If there’s some kind of trauma around the way he died in addition to the pain of losing him then I would stay away from using his name.

Ivebeentogeorgia · 07/10/2023 23:05

Mirabai · 07/10/2023 23:04

If there’s some kind of trauma around the way he died in addition to the pain of losing him then I would stay away from using his name.

I agree with this. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to your baby

Bobbotgegrinch · 07/10/2023 23:05

If you want Lucy Martha, please go for Lucy Martha.

She's your daughter, don't let yourself be bullied, no matter how well intentioned.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 23:05

@Mirabai his own hand.

which trust me is far more confusing than I can ever get my head around !

OP posts:
Evaka · 07/10/2023 23:06

So, so sorry for your loss. Agree with all the PPs that you should call your baby whatever you wish. Coralie is very pretty x

Winnipeggy · 07/10/2023 23:06

I like both but it's COMPLETELY your choice. Please choose your favourite name, her grandparents will be obsessed with her regardless. Coralie is lovely, unique and lots of options for shortening. I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you have lots of support around you x

girljulian · 07/10/2023 23:06

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:55

I do like coralie ( I do not want Cory Lee ) but also I’m still angry, and apart of me no matter how wrong it I that I feel that way don’t even thing he deserves it
and that is the most awful thing to say I’m aware.
everyone else doesn’t have the same anger as me.

It’s not awful. In that case I think you should call the child Lucy Martha YourSurname.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 23:08

I have always liked Lucy ( absolutely no reason behind it )
I feel a little bit like I’m in a fish bowl right now though trying not to upset anyone !

OP posts:
Fuecoco · 07/10/2023 23:09

I’m so sorry op. I think Lucy Martha is gorgeous. Call her whatever you choose ❤️

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