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Original poster

Baby girls name - is it awful

253 replies

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 21:30

Name changed as its very outing.
i am pregnant and now know it’s a girl which I expected a boy !
we lost DP early on in the pregnancy and I haven’t even had a moment to think of her name.
his family would like it to be in our honour of DP.
this Name - Cory middle name Lee
they want Cory but I am not overly keen on it for a girls name as much as I would love for her to have DP name
I have suggested coralie
and me cause he never had a daughter before and I know he wanted to go have his nans middle name in there somewhere it would be coralie Martha … surname.

or do you prefer Cory ?

OP posts:
BBQchickensalad · 07/10/2023 23:09

I'm sorry for your loss.

If you want to call the baby Lucy Martha, call her that. You are honouring your DP by including the name he would have wanted. You don't have to call her after him because his family wants that. Otherwise maybe you can do something like Lucy Martha Corrine. Honorary names are great but your child also needs their own identity and not to be in the shadow of the person they are named for.

Fuecoco · 07/10/2023 23:10

BBQchickensalad · 07/10/2023 23:09

I'm sorry for your loss.

If you want to call the baby Lucy Martha, call her that. You are honouring your DP by including the name he would have wanted. You don't have to call her after him because his family wants that. Otherwise maybe you can do something like Lucy Martha Corrine. Honorary names are great but your child also needs their own identity and not to be in the shadow of the person they are named for.

This is perfect.

RobinStrike · 07/10/2023 23:10

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 07/10/2023 22:52

I absolutely would not name my daughter after her deceased father. She is her own person, she is an individual, she is not a living memorial. A middle name, fine. That's a nice tribute. Just remember you're the one using her name multiple times a day, writing it on multiple forms, registering her etc etc not your PIL. Your heart wants Lucy and like PP have pointed out, they've had their chance to name their children. This is yours. Don't do something you'll regret because you feel obligated to.

I completely agree with this. Your daughter's name should be your choice and it should belong to her, not her father. Choose a name you love and want to call her, something that will give you joy at her birth and during her life. She will be a new future for you, and a new family Call her your choice of first name with your surname and look forward rather than back.

Mirabai · 07/10/2023 23:11

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 23:05

@Mirabai his own hand.

which trust me is far more confusing than I can ever get my head around !

OP - I am so very sorry to hear it. You poor thing 💐💐💐

I think that puts a different complexion on the whole issue.

I would stay away from his names completely for your well-being. Put yourself and your DD first.

Malin2Mizen · 07/10/2023 23:11

Lucy Martha is a beautiful name.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Winnipeggy · 07/10/2023 23:12

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

Oh OP, you do have a choice. It's all your choice, please don't be pressured. This baby is going to be loved and looked after by YOU, she is going to love you more than anyone in the world. You get to pick her name. Pick the one you want the most. Her grandparents may object but that will be temporary, you are not obliged to please them. There are other ways of remembering your partner. Sending so much love x

grumpycow1 · 07/10/2023 23:14

I’d go with your first choice. Lucy Martha is lovely.

Zonder · 07/10/2023 23:14

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 23:05

@Mirabai his own hand.

which trust me is far more confusing than I can ever get my head around !

That adds a whole other level of emotion, I'm sure. Please go with a name you love.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 23:14

Op, I'm going to be very blunt and direct.

Please, do not name your daughter after her father who took his own life. Do not burden your child this way. It is TOO MUCH. Your child deserves her own identity, not one tied to such horrible tragedy. It will be hard enough for her to know her father killed himself before she was even born.

You do need to grow a backbone because you are putting other people's wants above the well-being your child. It's madness.

Motherof2nannyof4 · 07/10/2023 23:18

I have a cousin named corrie but we call her corrie I love coral too xx

Changedmymind99 · 07/10/2023 23:19

Call your baby the name you choose.
give the baby your surname if that’s what you prefer.

I am so sorry OP. Remember you owe nothing to nobody else other than you and your own children.

Do you. Every damn day.

pontipinemum · 07/10/2023 23:19

Lucy Martha is lovely. I think it's nicer than Coralie. I'd also be worried about calling her something that will constantly remind you of your DP. My sister died young of cancer, soon after she died my other sister and I ''fought'' over which one of us could call our DD after her. Neither of us have (I haven't had a dd but wouldn't now) it would be too painful.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound like a strong woman by the way you write. I hope you have the support you deserve around you x

EveryOtherNameTaken · 07/10/2023 23:20

I don't believe in naming first names after relatives. They are individuals not copies. Choose your own name. Lucy Lee maybe. Her grandparents cannot live DPs life through your daughter.

Good luck 💐

Winnipeggy · 07/10/2023 23:20

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 23:14

Op, I'm going to be very blunt and direct.

Please, do not name your daughter after her father who took his own life. Do not burden your child this way. It is TOO MUCH. Your child deserves her own identity, not one tied to such horrible tragedy. It will be hard enough for her to know her father killed himself before she was even born.

You do need to grow a backbone because you are putting other people's wants above the well-being your child. It's madness.

I agree. You need a fresh start and she will be a light in your life, I feel like if she was called Cory or similar under the current circumstances it would be a massive burden for her and might have negative/traumatic connotations for you. I cannot stress enough how much it's your choice but I would name her Lucy Martha, ESPECIALLY if you are holding onto anger surrounding his death, you do not want to pass that on to your daughter. I feel like Lucy Martha will be best for you both x

CoffeeBean5 · 07/10/2023 23:20

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 23:14

Op, I'm going to be very blunt and direct.

Please, do not name your daughter after her father who took his own life. Do not burden your child this way. It is TOO MUCH. Your child deserves her own identity, not one tied to such horrible tragedy. It will be hard enough for her to know her father killed himself before she was even born.

You do need to grow a backbone because you are putting other people's wants above the well-being your child. It's madness.

I agree. My friend's boyfriend killed himself whilst my friend was pregnant. That fact alone is hard enough for her son. It would've been even harder if he had a similar name to his dad. He has his mum's surname.

BBQchickensalad · 07/10/2023 23:21

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 23:14

Op, I'm going to be very blunt and direct.

Please, do not name your daughter after her father who took his own life. Do not burden your child this way. It is TOO MUCH. Your child deserves her own identity, not one tied to such horrible tragedy. It will be hard enough for her to know her father killed himself before she was even born.

You do need to grow a backbone because you are putting other people's wants above the well-being your child. It's madness.

I'd like to quote this just to echo this.

Your daughter, in time, is going to have to deal with her feelings about her father who left before her birth. It may be difficult for her to carry his name in this situation.

SausageMonkey2 · 07/10/2023 23:22

I would call her Lucy. She will be her own person. She will not replace him or be him. For the sake of the other children I can’t imagine them hearing his name all the time. It might set her off on the wrong start. Are the children old enough to have a view?

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 23:23

Cory sounds better to me,

HolaPepper · 07/10/2023 23:25

Your choice of first name. Your choice of surname.

Personally in your circumstances I'd give the baby your surname 100%. I wouldn't choose to have a different surname from my child, especially if that meant she won't have a living parent with the other name. Double barrel would be a compromise.

Keepingitmoving · 07/10/2023 23:26

So sorry for your loss 💐Cora is a beautiful name as pp suggested. But do what you think is right and don’t be pressurised into anything!

Aknifewith16blades · 07/10/2023 23:27

It would be difficult for his other DC to have a new baby with the name of their dead DF. Use whatever names you think best.

AFieldGuideToTrees · 07/10/2023 23:29

Call her Lucy Martha YourSurname.

Like others have said, it would be so unhelpful to burden her with her father's name, and so unfair on her to have that huge weight of expectation from her grandparents in particular.

There's nothing wrong with SC having their father's surname, and all of your children having yours. It would be more odd if she was the only one of yours to not have the same surname as you. Particularly because your partner is no longer here.

Flowers
Waffle78 · 07/10/2023 23:30

I've only known Cory as a boy's name but would be ok for a middle name.

Peachy2005 · 07/10/2023 23:31

So sorry for your loss.

My goddaughter is named Cory, I think it’s a lovely name for a girl. But if it’s your DPs first name, it might be a bit too painful for you and so soon after losing him and his family should respect that. I personally don’t like Cora, it’s quite old-fashioned like Vera: like two little old ladies on Coronation Street! I’m not sure on Coralie, it looks lovely on paper but when I say it aloud, it sounds more like Carly so I wonder if she would be constantly correcting people that her name isn’t Carly and having to spell it. If you want to include Cory and Martha, they could be second and third names and you could give her a different first name altogether…just a thought.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 23:33

I realised I might have made it sound like we have a million kids between us. I have 1 and he had 1 both lived with us full time.
this baby is our first together.
All 3 will live with me.
I am going to hold off and maybe announce it after birth maybe … everyone would have had time to settle by then. I hope so. They are already mad at me about the DSC situation so it just seems everyone is against me.

OP posts:
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