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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby girls name - is it awful

253 replies

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 21:30

Name changed as its very outing.
i am pregnant and now know it’s a girl which I expected a boy !
we lost DP early on in the pregnancy and I haven’t even had a moment to think of her name.
his family would like it to be in our honour of DP.
this Name - Cory middle name Lee
they want Cory but I am not overly keen on it for a girls name as much as I would love for her to have DP name
I have suggested coralie
and me cause he never had a daughter before and I know he wanted to go have his nans middle name in there somewhere it would be coralie Martha … surname.

or do you prefer Cory ?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 22:42

Your daughter will automatically be a living legacy of your DP. You do not have to name her after him. Don't allow his family to pressure you. Personally, I would give your child her own name. She shouldn't have to feel that she's expected to 'live up' to anyone or anything, even her own father. Your daughter should have her own identity.

adriftabroad · 07/10/2023 22:43

Love Coralie Martha. x

mummy21blueeyed · 07/10/2023 22:44

Your DP would love and support you to choose any name you would like or would want. I wouldn’t call my girl Cory. It is wrong and you’ll forever have people thinking she is a boy on things like registers etc.

OceanicBoundlessness · 07/10/2023 22:44

I live the name you have chosen. I think she deserves her own name.

Mirabai · 07/10/2023 22:44

So sorry about your DP. Coralie Martha is a beautiful name. Only you can know whether it would feel a fitting tribute or a painful reminder.

A friend of mine called her baby after her mum who passed when she was pregnant. She was always happy with her choice.

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

OP posts:
jmx3 · 07/10/2023 22:46

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

That’s lovely too and if that’s what you want, go for it! Martha was your DP’s choice so he is still a part of the name.

CoffeeBean5 · 07/10/2023 22:47

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:38

@CoffeeBean5 the issue is if I do that then my DSC will be the only one with a different surname.

His family want to choose your baby's first name AND middle name AND surname? You're growing and will have to give birth to this baby. You will raise this baby on your own, unfortunately (again a heartbreaking situation).

Choose a different first name you like and use your surname. It will make things a lot easier if you have the same surname as your biological children. Does step child not have a mum? Do they live with you full time?

Blackandwhitemakesgrey · 07/10/2023 22:47

I'm sorry to for your loss. It must be so hard trying to plan for a baby while coping with your loss.

I think Coralie Lee is a bit much tbh. I would probably use his name as one of your daughter's middle names if you'd like to do so yourself but only if that is the case. While I understand your DP's parents would like their son to be honoured, I think it could be difficult for your daughter to grow up in his shadow and difficult for you to move forward celebrating a new life while being constantly reminded of your DP whenever you say her name. Of course this depends on how he passed away and I haven't RTFT.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 07/10/2023 22:48

Please call your baby the name you want. Sorry for your loss.

DysonSpheres · 07/10/2023 22:48

Coralie is beautiful and distinctive

Coralie Martha is a heavenly combo

But name her so only if it pleases you. Perhaps suspend the decision until she's born and you can look at her. Sometimes the name may not seem the right fit at that point.

ArabellaScott · 07/10/2023 22:49

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

That's a beautiful name.

It's your choice, OP. I'm sorry for your loss, may your baby bring you much joy.

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:49

@CoffeeBean5 yes they live with me full time and will most likely remain with me full time long term.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2023 22:49

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:45

If I had my choice
she would be called Lucy Martha … surname to be honest.

You DO have the choice. You are literally the only person on earth who has the absolute right to name your baby. This is your choice and yours alone.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 07/10/2023 22:49

So sorry for your loss

Coralie or Cory are beautiful & there is also Corina/Corinna https://www.thebump.com/b/corina-baby-name#

But it's your & your late DP's baby so you decide what YOU want to call your little girl when she arrives.
If you don't feel you could cope with calling her a Cor name then give her Coralie or Cory Lee as her middle names.

Re surnames is there the option of double barrelling any surnames?
However I do know of many people who due to parents divorcing & remarrying have different surnames to their DM & their new siblings from the next marriage/s

Corina - Baby Name Meaning, Origin and Popularity

Learn about the baby name Corina including baby name meaning, gender, origin, and more.

https://www.thebump.com/b/corina-baby-name#

RowenaEllis · 07/10/2023 22:50

PLEASE don't name your daughter what his family want above your own wishes and please don't call her Cory if his name was Cory, that will be too too traumatising and far too much weight for a little child to carry.

Tonight1 · 07/10/2023 22:50

Coralie is a beautiful name. Sorry about DP. Congrats on baby.

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:51

I know you are all right.
life has been very crazy all of a sudden and people are all over us with opinions on everything.
I think I probably need to grow a backbone.

OP posts:
SherbetLemonn · 07/10/2023 22:52

Oh my love. I’m so sorry for your loss, how awful for you and your family.
Coralie is a fine name, but honestly I do lean to the school of thinking that she ought to have her own first name, rather than it be a tribute to her father, although of course, I entirely understand the thinking there. Calling her exactly the same name (Cory Lee) would be, in my opinion, unfair on the girl.
It is your choice and your choice alone what you choose to name your daughter. If you love Lucy Martha then that should be her name. Do not allow yourself to be pushed into something you don’t really want.

Ivebeentogeorgia · 07/10/2023 22:52

Op it is your choice. You do have the choice. Choose the name you want for your baby.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 07/10/2023 22:52

I absolutely would not name my daughter after her deceased father. She is her own person, she is an individual, she is not a living memorial. A middle name, fine. That's a nice tribute. Just remember you're the one using her name multiple times a day, writing it on multiple forms, registering her etc etc not your PIL. Your heart wants Lucy and like PP have pointed out, they've had their chance to name their children. This is yours. Don't do something you'll regret because you feel obligated to.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 07/10/2023 22:52

If your choice is Lucy then go with that.

Shes your baby not DP's family's. Shes developing in your womb and you're going to give birth. Without DP here (I'm so sorry for your loss), it is entirely your decision what you name her. DP's family need to realise that.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 07/10/2023 22:53

Posted before I read that your choice would be Lucy Martha. So use that & if you wanted to you could give your baby girl an extra middle name of Coralie/Cory

sprigatito · 07/10/2023 22:53

If you love Coralie, I would go for that and let his family call her Cory as a nickname if they want to.

Dillane · 07/10/2023 22:53

Wishing you and your bump all the very best OP 💐