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Original poster

Baby girls name - is it awful

253 replies

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 21:30

Name changed as its very outing.
i am pregnant and now know it’s a girl which I expected a boy !
we lost DP early on in the pregnancy and I haven’t even had a moment to think of her name.
his family would like it to be in our honour of DP.
this Name - Cory middle name Lee
they want Cory but I am not overly keen on it for a girls name as much as I would love for her to have DP name
I have suggested coralie
and me cause he never had a daughter before and I know he wanted to go have his nans middle name in there somewhere it would be coralie Martha … surname.

or do you prefer Cory ?

OP posts:
martinisforeveryone · 07/10/2023 22:12

I’m very sorry for your loss @Startre28 look after yourself. Whatever you do, keep your own counsel about names, choices and your decision. If anyone presses you stonewall them by saying you want to see her first before you name her.

When you do decide make sure she has names you’re totally happy with.

ClairDeLaLune · 07/10/2023 22:13

I’m so sorry for your loss. Coralie is an absolutely beautiful name and a lovely tribute to DP, similar without being the same, as your baby will be her own person. Martha goes very nicely as a middle name.

Ididivfama · 07/10/2023 22:13

This is absolutely your choice! Some would find it too painful and too soon. How do you feel?

Coralie is lovely.

ConnieTucker · 07/10/2023 22:20

Ididivfama · 07/10/2023 22:13

This is absolutely your choice! Some would find it too painful and too soon. How do you feel?

Coralie is lovely.

This. Name the baby what you want.

Okaaaay · 07/10/2023 22:25

Coralie Martha is beautiful - one my best friends is Coralie. Sorry for your loss - this must have been a very challenging time when one more decision to make is too much!

ZickZack · 07/10/2023 22:27

Coralie is lovely. A colleague's little girl is called it. Beautiful name.

That being said, you should be allowed to call your little girl whatever you like. Don't be pressured by his family

Moveoverdarlin · 07/10/2023 22:27

I love Martha, not as keen on Cory. Not keen on Coralie either. I would go with Martha Cory.

Lachimolala · 07/10/2023 22:29

Coralie Martha is just beautiful, I’m not keen on Cory Lee sorry!

Please remember she is your baby to name not his families, yes they will be grieving too but so are you. And if he wanted Martha and you like Coralie (which is a mix of Cory and Lee anyway) then absolutely go for it!

Motomum23 · 07/10/2023 22:29

I wouldn't give her the first name of your partner... it could be lovely, or it could be painful. You want a tribute without it being a constant painful reminder of a name you wished you were still able to use all the time.

carly2803 · 07/10/2023 22:30

cora is lovely

Emotions are running high, i would wait and meet her

dont be tempted to give his last name too - will open a massive can of worms long term

cordelia16 · 07/10/2023 22:30

Inertia · 07/10/2023 21:48

I’m so sorry for your loss, absolutely devastating for you all.

With all due respect to your partner’s family, they named their child. They need to let you name your own baby, with the level of remembrance you’re comfortable with.

Please don’t feel pressured into giving the baby his surname either.

Your baby will be her own person, not a living memorial.

Exactly this. She will be her own person - no need to give her a first name that will be a constant reminder of your loss. I always think the middle name is the place for a tribute name.

So choose a name you love - and then either use Cory or Coralie or Cora in the middle spot.

It's not your in-laws' decision.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 07/10/2023 22:32

Coralie is lovely. Cory is a boys name.

ButtonMoonLoon · 07/10/2023 22:32

Having her Dad’s name may be quite a big burden to her later in life and it could be quite triggering for you to hear it all the time.
If you like the name Martha and he expressed his wish to honour his Nan somewhere within her name then I would switch the suggested order and go for Martha Coralie which is really beautiful.
Be kind to yourself and go with whichever name YOU want to.
It is likely to be a highly emotional time for you and for his family, so I do hope you can follow the path you want to without any pressure.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:32

Yeh the surname is a whole different issue I have my DC with my surname and his DC ( this is his first daughter ) with his surname.
so will have to work that out along the way !

OP posts:
Zonder · 07/10/2023 22:34

Has he got other children? Give her your surname. It will make life easier in the long run.

Crayfishforyou · 07/10/2023 22:34

In the nicest possible way; your baby is not a living memorial to your DP. She will be her own person. If you love the name Coralie Martha, then use it. If you feel obligated, then don’t. You DP’d family have no rights over baby names. It must be so hard to navigate this sort of stuff when grieving.
I’m really sorry you lost your DP.

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:35

@Zonder yes 1 but they are with me to ( not mine ) but live with me.

OP posts:
Cantdoitallperfectly · 07/10/2023 22:36

Cora

CoffeeBean5 · 07/10/2023 22:37

Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:32

Yeh the surname is a whole different issue I have my DC with my surname and his DC ( this is his first daughter ) with his surname.
so will have to work that out along the way !

Use Coralie and Martha as middle names. Choose a first name you really like. Give her your surname so she has the same name as your other children. All your children will live together and share a mum so it would be best that you all have the same surname. She'll feel like an outsider with a different surname to the rest of her household. So sorry for your loss x

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:38

It’s literally all so manic that the poor baby hasn’t had a second thought really ! In the middle of looking for a nee house ( no choice ) navigating the kids grief as well as the usual life stuff like school etc.
I mean I haven’t even looked at buying anything for her to sleep in 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:38

@CoffeeBean5 the issue is if I do that then my DSC will be the only one with a different surname.

OP posts:
RandyAndTheRainbows · 07/10/2023 22:39

You could have CoraLee, I suppose?

Original poster
Startre28 · 07/10/2023 22:40

You are right about the trauma over whether it will being trauma by calling her name every day - everyone else is so sad and upset and I’m just angry ! Angry at him which probably is not helping.

OP posts:
Zonder · 07/10/2023 22:41

RandyAndTheRainbows · 07/10/2023 22:39

You could have CoraLee, I suppose?

Please no.

Zonder · 07/10/2023 22:41

Crayfishforyou · 07/10/2023 22:34

In the nicest possible way; your baby is not a living memorial to your DP. She will be her own person. If you love the name Coralie Martha, then use it. If you feel obligated, then don’t. You DP’d family have no rights over baby names. It must be so hard to navigate this sort of stuff when grieving.
I’m really sorry you lost your DP.

This is a really good point.