To tell my 5 year old she’d end up in hospital

[Perfectweatherforkites]

Dd had an impacted stomach around a year ago for almost a year. It started when she wouldn’t go to the toilet at nursery. I went threw months of hell with her, hospital visits, X-rays, blood tests etc to find out what was going on. We were prescribed medication that I later found can have really negative effects, I stopped it immediately and spent a lot of time researching natural ways to help her. I tried everything and the only thing I eventually found that works is a fresh kiwi juice with the skin on. I’ve found if she has it a few times a week and doesn’t eat too much chocolate/ice cream/biscuits she’s able to go to the toilet easily. After trial and error, I’ve noticed if we go a while without having the juice, her tummy becomes full of air, she trumps a lot, cries with stomach pain and can’t poo easily. She doesn’t like having the kiwi juice, it’s less than half a cup full and I give her a treat afterwards sometimes. She’s been refusing it recently and the tummy aches and sticking out tum are back, I’ve explained numerous times how important it is and how it helps her and tried different methods for her to drink it. Today she refused for around the fourth day and was being generally rude shouting that she wouldn’t have it and pushing me out of the way. I admit I got cross with her, told her to stop hitting me and shouted to her that she’d end up back in hospital again etc. She went out crying to Dh saying ‘She was making me drink it’ (She!) which I found completely disrespectful.
Dh came flying in shouting at me that she’s 5 and I shouldn’t say to her that she’ll end up in hospital. Dh who had no real involvement in all the months of hell, research, Dr and hospital visits etc and despite what I say brings her kinder eggs and biscuits home most nights after work.
Feeling like he really overrides me. He does the same when I say Dd can’t watch YouTube (only occasionally when sat with us and if we deem it appropriate. I lock the tv at night so YouTube can’t be accessed but Disney can and CBeebies/milkshake…Dd asks Dh to unlock it every morning…and he does. So this started a huge row where I said I was trying to parent and make sure she’s not ill again, whereas her let her watch YouTube all day and eat sweets and chocolate
Was I being unreasonable to say this to her in the heat of the moment? I’m generally a pretty laid back, caring and loving mum

Do you mean you serve it with bits of skin in it? It must taste horrible if you do. I don't know if you get them in the UK but there are gold kiwifruit. Anyway the gold ones have much smoother skins - much less hairy than the bright green ones - and that might be more palatable. They are also a bit sweeter than the green ones. Even as a New Zealander I have never eaten the skin.

Its not working though because she doesnt want to take it, so you need to find other options. Maybe mix it up - you said figs worked as well but she got sick of them and now the same has happened with the kiwi. A smoothie with a mix of high fibre fruits, different mixes of fruits each day (pay attention to soluble vs insoluble fibre in the rest of her diet as well) would be far better than trying to force down a small drink of something she hates.

Do consider that forcing food into your child, even for their own best interests, is highly likely to cause food issues further down the line

OP, please don’t try to get Movicol or Laxido etc banned because you think everyone should use natural remedies. My child has inflammatory bowel disease and we couldn’t manage without these laxatives. I think it’s selfish and over dramatic to say they should be banned so that no one can have them 😧

Hi OP, have you tried ripe pear? Works for my son everytime. He just eats it though, i don't make it into a smoothie @Perfectweatherforkites

Kefir every night, with optional fruit puree, is effective. (I wouldn't be able to bear the texture of kiwi skins.)

Just wanted to add I’m with you on the natural route, movicol is over prescribed and there is evidence to suggest it strips the gut and also contains PEG which is defiantly not good for you.. My little boy was hospitalised for constipation and had to have enemas which resulted in awful issues. We are now on magnesium, pineapple juice and occasional lactulose. So many people think medicines solve the problem when they can actually make the issue worse and also cause other side effects. I’ll defiantly try supplementing with kiwi, maybe try the pineapple juice as seems to be working for us at the moment.

Have you tried laxido?

@Zigza 100% this

@GreenFritillary She doesn’t like Kefir either🙈I drink it everyday

@MirabelMadrigal She has pears sometimes, I didn’t notice a difference but will try again, thank you

Sorry if this has already been mentioned (I haven't read all the posts) but have you tried dates? My son suffers with the odd bout of constipation and a handful of dates after a meal help him massively! Hope your little one is feeling better soon!

@BurnToastAgain I’m not trying to ban it, I do believe it should be though. I hope your child is ok 💜

does she like chia 'pudding'?
just the seeds soaked in juice or milk.
it's fascinating to observe them soaking up the liquid and turning to glibber.
and they don't taste of anything really.

@Crabward I’m not forcing food into her, it’s a small juice drink twice per week, she was fine with it today. It’s like any medicine, she has to have it unfortunately

@GoldenSpangles No, all the skin is blitzed away, it’s complete juice, not as thick as a smoothie even. Yes, we have those golden kiwis

Thanks 😊 All the best to your little girl too x

The kiwi drink sounds disgusting. Just because she is five doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to find the taste awful and resist. I’d be looking for alternatives.

Have you tried her with homemade kefir? It's brilliant for any gut trouble. You could mix the kiwi juice into it, probably. It tastes like a mild yoghurt. DP had similar compacted issues and kefir sorted it for him. I make it daily, it's no bigger deal than pouring a glass of milk.

So my oldest also used to have similar problems. She has nearly grown out of it completely but is nearly 10.

Things that help are the usual orange juice and making sure she doesn't have to many eggs - as in not daily - something about them can clog people up as can bananas.

We also rehydrate raisins in boiling water with spices. The resulting raisins can be added to yoghurt once cooled plus the extra liquid we mix with milk either cold or warm and that usually does the trick to. Plus they're tasty.

Me & my DD suffer from constipation, I get it bad if I eat too much crap.

I found flaxseed reverses it for me, I sprinkle some on top of yogurt with granola and strawberries.

it got to the point where me and DD went the other way so I had to reduce how much we were having!

maybe try that as a “special breakfast” for a few days if she won’t have the Kiwi.

I know your post was about your DH though and no, YANBU. He should be discussing boundaries and what’s best for DD Etc when she’s in bed, coming to a decision with you and sticking with it. not overruling you while she’s there. Undermining you. It’s really not on.

My son suffered from chronic constipation and ended up having a procedure called manual evacuation done.

Haven't rtft, unfortunately some people would rather be popular than parent.

Eewww. Skin on kiwi juice doesn’t exactly sound great. I could imagine my DDs refusing when they were younger too. I had a similar issue with my youngest DD. I found plums to be the most effective method of moving things along. It kept recurring and a friend recommended reflexology to address it. I was a bit sceptical but … it hasn’t happened since 🤷🏼‍♀️

Really sorry to read some of these replies. You are doing your absolute best. Telling Dd she may have to go to hospital is not a threat it’s a fact of life. Eventually some intervention could/would be needed which you clearly are trying to avoid for her sake. Don’t listen to the ones who aren’t reading your posts, it’s not helpful to either of you. As for Dh, he needs to put on his big
boy pants and be a grown up, support you and realise the consequences of chocolate/ice cream etc causing Dd more harm. Good luck and keep at it.
In addition to my comments, I feel it would help you to know we went through a very similar situation with my son as a toddler too, terrible times for him and us as a family. Our Consultant suggested milk of magnesia which worked within days and the problem has never returned. This was 26 years ago though so worth checking contents before trying.

@KoalaChaos your situation sounds like my eldest at that age and a bit older.

We went down the lactulose route for quite a while with limited benefit. What worked for us was pureeing tinned prunes (with their liquid) - I used to freeze it in an ice cube tray and give her a couple of cubes morning and night, mixed with things like baby rice. (movicol wasn't yet being widely used for constipation in those days)

Movicol can be great but relying on it alone can be uncomfortable. Finding the right combo of foods for a given child - or adult - is the holy grail of constipation management ...