To tell my 5 year old she’d end up in hospital

[Perfectweatherforkites]

Dd had an impacted stomach around a year ago for almost a year. It started when she wouldn’t go to the toilet at nursery. I went threw months of hell with her, hospital visits, X-rays, blood tests etc to find out what was going on. We were prescribed medication that I later found can have really negative effects, I stopped it immediately and spent a lot of time researching natural ways to help her. I tried everything and the only thing I eventually found that works is a fresh kiwi juice with the skin on. I’ve found if she has it a few times a week and doesn’t eat too much chocolate/ice cream/biscuits she’s able to go to the toilet easily. After trial and error, I’ve noticed if we go a while without having the juice, her tummy becomes full of air, she trumps a lot, cries with stomach pain and can’t poo easily. She doesn’t like having the kiwi juice, it’s less than half a cup full and I give her a treat afterwards sometimes. She’s been refusing it recently and the tummy aches and sticking out tum are back, I’ve explained numerous times how important it is and how it helps her and tried different methods for her to drink it. Today she refused for around the fourth day and was being generally rude shouting that she wouldn’t have it and pushing me out of the way. I admit I got cross with her, told her to stop hitting me and shouted to her that she’d end up back in hospital again etc. She went out crying to Dh saying ‘She was making me drink it’ (She!) which I found completely disrespectful.
Dh came flying in shouting at me that she’s 5 and I shouldn’t say to her that she’ll end up in hospital. Dh who had no real involvement in all the months of hell, research, Dr and hospital visits etc and despite what I say brings her kinder eggs and biscuits home most nights after work.
Feeling like he really overrides me. He does the same when I say Dd can’t watch YouTube (only occasionally when sat with us and if we deem it appropriate. I lock the tv at night so YouTube can’t be accessed but Disney can and CBeebies/milkshake…Dd asks Dh to unlock it every morning…and he does. So this started a huge row where I said I was trying to parent and make sure she’s not ill again, whereas her let her watch YouTube all day and eat sweets and chocolate
Was I being unreasonable to say this to her in the heat of the moment? I’m generally a pretty laid back, caring and loving mum

It's not question of drugs vs kiwi fruit. It is about finding another dietary item that does the same thing but that your child does not detest.

I think you actually have a husband problem here.....

There is probably a bigger cause for her tummy troubles as if she has a good diet she simply shouldn't get impacted unless there is a gut issue.

Does she get enough fluid? Because not enough fluid is a huge factor. So is stress. My daughter was born highly stressed and couldnt poop properly for the first year of her life so i know how distressing it is and how much pain they are in.

Have you tried a pinch of food grade epsom salt in a drink? It draws moisture to the bowel. It's a common constipation cure. Using a pinch means it doesnt taste of anything.

To be honest i wouldn't want to drink kiwi juice as they burn my mouth, the skin on would be an absolute no so i can understand why she doesnt want it (hence why hiding the epsom salts and not telling her might be a better idea). The only thing the skin would do is add fibre and plenty of other foods can do that - physillium husks can be added to anything and taste of nothing.

As for the hospital, it's the honest truth so why not tell her. I tell mine what sort of things end up making her ill and needing a hospital trip. It's not a scare tactic, it's a fact. I would also be telling her the belly ache and gas were because of not drinking her juice. But i would also try and see if there are things she would be more excepting of because long term if she genuinely cant stand it, it will cause big problems.

As for her dad - he needs a wake up call! Lazy parenting is clearly his chosen method for an easy life and not what is best for your daughter.

This is both to you and OP, smoothies are amazing for this, find fruits that have powerful flavours like strawberries or oranges etc and whack a kiwi in there. My son, and myself, suffer from constipation and orange juice has been a god send, as is prune juice. Prune juice is revolting though and DS hated it. Making a smoothie with it and letting him help chop the fruit and make a variety of different coloured drinks was/is a great way of getting him to have the prune and/or orange juice without argument.

(Posted the other day but now have more to add)

I stopped into the pharmacy today and whilst I was there chatted to the pharmacist about DS lactalose prescription and told her that kiwi had worked for us but I didn't know what to do because Dr was expecting a follow up on the lactalose in 2 weeks.

Response from the pharmacist was; if you have found something that even slightly works, then for the love of God don't take the lactalose. Drs prescribe it to make people go away but in the long run causes so many other problems. Lactalose only works if you drink an unusually large amount of water in a day to help flush the lactalose through the system (and since for us DS is a baby and can only have 30ml of water max that's not going to happen).

As a rule I tend to prefer advice from pharmacists than GPs (much more specialised and knowledgeable in their fields) so I'm going with that. 😁

P.s. Still not bought any plums yet

Yanbu for telling her she could end up in hospital. She needs to understand that could happen.

However if she really won't take the kiwi juice anymore you are going to have to try something else. Have you tried prunes? The ones that are in a packet are lovely and I prefer them to tinned. Kids like the fact that they look like giant raisins!

You could give her the choice of the prunes or her usual kiwi juice and she might enjoy having the choice.

If nothing else works movicol/laxido are safe for long term use (not like the stimulants eg senna) and if it's for maintenance it could just be one sachet a couple of times a week rather than the full 8 for disimpaction which is horrible for anyone to take never mind a small child.

@KoalaChaos Exactly 🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t know what anyone would go down the prescribed route if something natural worked. It’s a horrible horrible medicine

Your husband sounds like an arsehole. Next time she gets sick, hand her to him, say 'You did this' and let him deal with it.
Also, why does your 5 year old think it's okay to hit you? If she refuses to do everything she doesn't like, she's going to be a nightmare at school. Plenty of kids have dietary restrictions or have to take lifesaving meds and they don't behave like brats about it. The sooner she understands her condition, the better. My daughter had something similar, ended up with a prolapsed rectum and had to be manually cleaned out at the hospital. She was 3. She took her meds. End of.