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Original poster

To tell my 5 year old she’d end up in hospital

258 replies

Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 18:33

Dd had an impacted stomach around a year ago for almost a year. It started when she wouldn’t go to the toilet at nursery. I went threw months of hell with her, hospital visits, X-rays, blood tests etc to find out what was going on. We were prescribed medication that I later found can have really negative effects, I stopped it immediately and spent a lot of time researching natural ways to help her. I tried everything and the only thing I eventually found that works is a fresh kiwi juice with the skin on. I’ve found if she has it a few times a week and doesn’t eat too much chocolate/ice cream/biscuits she’s able to go to the toilet easily. After trial and error, I’ve noticed if we go a while without having the juice, her tummy becomes full of air, she trumps a lot, cries with stomach pain and can’t poo easily. She doesn’t like having the kiwi juice, it’s less than half a cup full and I give her a treat afterwards sometimes. She’s been refusing it recently and the tummy aches and sticking out tum are back, I’ve explained numerous times how important it is and how it helps her and tried different methods for her to drink it. Today she refused for around the fourth day and was being generally rude shouting that she wouldn’t have it and pushing me out of the way. I admit I got cross with her, told her to stop hitting me and shouted to her that she’d end up back in hospital again etc. She went out crying to Dh saying ‘She was making me drink it’ (She!) which I found completely disrespectful.
Dh came flying in shouting at me that she’s 5 and I shouldn’t say to her that she’ll end up in hospital. Dh who had no real involvement in all the months of hell, research, Dr and hospital visits etc and despite what I say brings her kinder eggs and biscuits home most nights after work.
Feeling like he really overrides me. He does the same when I say Dd can’t watch YouTube (only occasionally when sat with us and if we deem it appropriate. I lock the tv at night so YouTube can’t be accessed but Disney can and CBeebies/milkshake…Dd asks Dh to unlock it every morning…and he does. So this started a huge row where I said I was trying to parent and make sure she’s not ill again, whereas her let her watch YouTube all day and eat sweets and chocolate
Was I being unreasonable to say this to her in the heat of the moment? I’m generally a pretty laid back, caring and loving mum

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 07/10/2023 19:43

Also, YouTube is AWFUL for kids. I showed DD the new paw patrol trailer and the stuff it suggested to watch after was just BUY THIS TOY BUY BUY BUY BUY!

saffronsoup · 07/10/2023 19:43

Unfortunately it doesn't seem you have gotten to the root of the issue. She is still just as prone to sontipation as ever, you are just keeping it at bay with the fruit / fibre. But since you are in a panic if she doesn't take the kiwi juice for a couple days - the actual problem is still there and untreated. To the point that if she doesn't drink the juice, she will need to be hospitalized. Constipation is usually a treatable condition. I would see a specialist given your daugther's constipation hasn't been treated and is still just a cup a juice away from being a medical emergency.

She is quickly going to realize the power she has in not drinking this pulpy skin mixed fruit drink. I would bake it into something or get fruit and fruit juices into her in other ways rather than insisting on this one drink every morning.

caringcarer · 07/10/2023 19:43

Have you tried fresh orange juice with the bits in?

Universalsnail · 07/10/2023 19:46

Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 19:05

@letspartytomorrow Just in a juicer, chop the hard end parts off, cut it into squares, keeping the skin on and pop in the juicer, I add strawberries and other fruits sometimes. It’s just the fact of it being the drink she knows she has to have. Having the Movicol type drinks 8 times per day before was a 100% harder and had terrible side effects

What side effects were you getting?

Movicol isn't damaging long term. If she was having 8 sachets a day (that is what my son was on) it would imply that she still had an impactaction and so the poo was seeping around it. Did you do it to the point she was fully flushed out (so it was basically water). My son used to have to have sodium picosulfate to flush his impactaction out then go onto maintenance movicol as the movicol itself wouldn't flush it and the impactation got bigger and bigger and stretched his bowels.

I am just asking this as we had to have an x-ray to diagnose the impactaction. If she's left with an impactaction it will stretch her bowls and cause permanent damage like with my son.

Just concerned if you stopped medication to switch to fruit juice that she's actually still impacted and so the fruit helps get some out but the reason she instantly gets constipated again when she doesn't have it is because there is still impactation that wasn't flushed. If I had just stopped my son's movicol he would have been in a right mess.

Obviously you know your daughter best but definitely worth making sure she has had a full flush out and is no longer impacted. Once the bowels are stretched from the impactation it takes a long time for them to shrink back and it's important to keep the book loose during that time.

Shopper727 · 07/10/2023 19:48

But by threatening hospitals what do you think they’ll do if you’re not prepared to give meds? Sort out your husband give the kiwi juice if it works, sounds disgusting but I hate kiwi better than gallons of movicol If it works

OdeToBarney · 07/10/2023 19:53

Universalsnail · 07/10/2023 19:46

What side effects were you getting?

Movicol isn't damaging long term. If she was having 8 sachets a day (that is what my son was on) it would imply that she still had an impactaction and so the poo was seeping around it. Did you do it to the point she was fully flushed out (so it was basically water). My son used to have to have sodium picosulfate to flush his impactaction out then go onto maintenance movicol as the movicol itself wouldn't flush it and the impactation got bigger and bigger and stretched his bowels.

I am just asking this as we had to have an x-ray to diagnose the impactaction. If she's left with an impactaction it will stretch her bowls and cause permanent damage like with my son.

Just concerned if you stopped medication to switch to fruit juice that she's actually still impacted and so the fruit helps get some out but the reason she instantly gets constipated again when she doesn't have it is because there is still impactation that wasn't flushed. If I had just stopped my son's movicol he would have been in a right mess.

Obviously you know your daughter best but definitely worth making sure she has had a full flush out and is no longer impacted. Once the bowels are stretched from the impactation it takes a long time for them to shrink back and it's important to keep the book loose during that time.

Show quote history

This. YANBU about your DH, and she's old enough to learn the consequences, but your approach isn't going to work long term. The hyperactivity was likely due to pain (from cramps etc - I know because my DD reacts the same way when she's in pain) and this would have passed when the impaction had cleared. You need a proper disimpaction routine and then you can figure what keeps it at bay - and tell your DH it is a deal breaker if he works against you because he is actively harming your child.

Justwondering36 · 07/10/2023 19:53

Did your husband agree with you stopping the movicol?

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 07/10/2023 20:01

I told my three year old he would die if he got hit by a car when he tried rubbing off in the car park. It's the truth

Sirzy · 07/10/2023 20:02

Universalsnail · 07/10/2023 19:46

What side effects were you getting?

Movicol isn't damaging long term. If she was having 8 sachets a day (that is what my son was on) it would imply that she still had an impactaction and so the poo was seeping around it. Did you do it to the point she was fully flushed out (so it was basically water). My son used to have to have sodium picosulfate to flush his impactaction out then go onto maintenance movicol as the movicol itself wouldn't flush it and the impactation got bigger and bigger and stretched his bowels.

I am just asking this as we had to have an x-ray to diagnose the impactaction. If she's left with an impactaction it will stretch her bowls and cause permanent damage like with my son.

Just concerned if you stopped medication to switch to fruit juice that she's actually still impacted and so the fruit helps get some out but the reason she instantly gets constipated again when she doesn't have it is because there is still impactation that wasn't flushed. If I had just stopped my son's movicol he would have been in a right mess.

Obviously you know your daughter best but definitely worth making sure she has had a full flush out and is no longer impacted. Once the bowels are stretched from the impactation it takes a long time for them to shrink back and it's important to keep the book loose during that time.

Show quote history

Exactly this.

and if so determined not to medicated i don’t see the point of mentioning hospital as they aren’t going to force kiwi juice down!

hellywelly3 · 07/10/2023 20:02

Her father is being neglectful to her needs. Does he not realise we’d all like to only do things that the kid likes.

LambMomo · 07/10/2023 20:05

and if so determined not to medicated i don’t see the point of mentioning hospital as they aren’t going to force kiwi juice down!

Yep, she’s get an NG tube and have movicol
put down it. If she didn’t drink it.

jelly79 · 07/10/2023 20:06

I feel your pain OP it's so tough! Movicol works for us along side a healthy diet, lots of water and a good routine of trying / relaxing on the toilet. But it's been so tough.

Good for you if you have found an alternative that works for you!

wishful2012 · 07/10/2023 20:17

Can’t she just eat the kiwi, my daughter eats the whole thing including skin 🤢

Original poster
Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 20:17

Can I just reiterate again…I didn’t just stop the medication, my Dd was no longer impacted, she isn’t impacted anymore. She suffers from constipation from time to time, this drink due to the fibre, works to keep it at bay, just like my mum for example gets constipated so has fresh orange with pulp bits in (to a pp who asked, it only worked a small amount for Dd, we’ve tried everything)
To a pp also, she’s not one cup away from hospitalisation, she was never hospitalised anyway as it wasn’t that severe (we had x rays at the hospital etc)
There is zero point to going back to Movicol as it didn’t work for us and made everything worse. This was not was I was posting for

OP posts:
Original poster
Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 20:19

@jelly79 Thank you 🙏you’ve no idea what a relief it was to find something that finally worked and it’s been fantastic, she regularly poos and has no issues

OP posts:
Original poster
Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 20:20

@wishful2012 She won’t eat it with the skin, two kiwis juiced produces such a small amount, less than half of one of the plastic ikea kids cups

OP posts:
Totaly · 07/10/2023 20:21

Why are people missing the actual point of the thread? OP doesn’t need advice. She knows what works.

Your DH is making her ill. He should deal with the consequences of his actions.

Or you should leave him.

Cowlover89 · 07/10/2023 20:22

Yanbu

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:27

I think most people aren't so much missing the point as taking for granted that your DH is being really unhelpful, and looking for alternatives your daughter might be willing to take, that would also work, now she's refusing the kiwi juice. That would avoid the DH problem.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 07/10/2023 20:29

YANBU
DS1 is now 18 but from toddler to 8/9iah he had chronic constipation. Was prescribed Mocvicol, lactulose and Senokot etc and he still struggled. It took over our lives. I did take him off the medication and gave him Innocent Smoothies daily which resolved the issue, after a very messy week.

tillylula · 07/10/2023 20:31

I think I tell my kids this every day 😅😅

Createausername1970 · 07/10/2023 20:31

Perfectweatherforkites · 07/10/2023 18:52

@Createausername1970 Exactly, I did end up saying to Dh in the argument that I’d leave it to him, he could let her sit around all day watching YouTube, eating crap and get ill and he could sort it out. Also the fact she was hitting me and going to complain to him, he should back me up

Agreed. He should be backing you up. You have to put on a united front.

If he doesn't agree with the kiwi, or has other suggestions, this is a conversation to have out of her hearing and you sort it out between you. He is, probably inadvertently, giving her permission to act like this. But, have faith, sooner or later he will do something your DD isn't happy with and he will be on the receiving end.

Hedgehog23 · 07/10/2023 20:38

Is it possible to find something else (maybe another juice or smoothie) that works for your daughter? I think it might be tricky if she won’t drink it because she no longer likes it and it might make your life easier if there’s another option.

purpletrees16 · 07/10/2023 20:44

https://www.oddbox.co.uk/recipes/skin-on-kiwi-pancakes

i’d fiddle with the ratio so you know 1 pancake is enough. Then give her the day to eat and make sure she has enough water. You could make them in a batch freeze, and defrost. Make it with the smoothie smush not visible kiwis.

Also have you tried a panel for intolerances - the “crap” could have one or two ingredients that you could cut out and still have treats. A private dietitian will do this if it’s an option for you.

Skin-On Kiwi Pancakes

Try these deliciously zesty kiwi pancakes. Made with skin-on kiwis and drizzled with maple syrup – courtesy of guest chef Camille @callherchef

https://www.oddbox.co.uk/recipes/skin-on-kiwi-pancakes

Leah5678 · 07/10/2023 20:48

You're not being unreasonable I told my son the same thing regarding running in the road it's pretty normal for parents to say that.
Husband is being unreasonable letting her watch YouTube (I've heard some horror stories about young kids stumbling across really weird shit through YouTube wtf is wrong with normal TV I can't understand people that let young kids under eight watch YouTube?) And all the chocolate constipating her sounds like a classic case of him wanting to be the "nice guy" and making you look bad for laying down some normal boundaries

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