Why say thank you?

[OfcourseitsaNC]

A man stopped on the wide pavement and stood to the side to allow me to pass. He didn't need to. I didn't say thank you, as it was a pointless act. I heard a very British mumbled sarcastic comment "Well THANK you".

Yesterday, a woman pulled the very long lead on her dog in so that there was no longer a cable across the width of the path. I didn't say thank you to her either.

I'm done saying thank you to people who either do something pointless which was never needed, or who are correcting incorrect behaviour.

AIBU?

I get it OP. I was walking along a pavement where a woman had her car door wide open so it blocked the pavement. As I moved closer she pulled it in towards her then made a sarky comment about me not thanking her! I thought why should I thank you for closing a car door that was blocking the pavement! Which I’m pretty sure I did say out loud to her!

People talk about all sorts of inconsequential stuff on here. Doesn't mean they are insecure or seeking validation. That's such a reach.

I’m sorry maybe I miscommunicated, I was not talking in general. I was meaning specific to this thread, saying thank you or not, not something that needs to be over thought or to be starting a thread on to ask people if it’s ok. Which is what the op did. My post wasn’t aimed at you, you don’t need to act like the ops new bff.

😃 You're funny. Why is people discussing something equal needing validation in your mind?

It's perfectly possible to gather opinions on one's behaviour without it being a sign of insecurity. Not sure why it's riled you so much.

I’m with you OP. I’m usually a very polite person, but I don’t like it when people seem to demand my attention in order to elicit a response from me. I find it rude. And if people are rude to me, I don’t feel inclined to be polite to them. To me, the man on the path is doing the same kind of thing as the ones who say “Smile love.”

Your username says it all.

Maybe things are different in sexist Australia. Here women don’t tolerate sexism.

I think you are rude and crabby

That's funny 😁 😂 😀

Oh OP this is where you get to use the very British sarcastic thank you

I can't believe you have missed some opportunities try it, you will feel better for it, especially as it blocks the passive aggressive thank you or you're welcome.

So are you 🤣🤣🤣

Isn’t that different though?

You holding the door open for someone is helping them whereas what the guy was doing wasn’t helpful in any way.

YANBU.

Where I live now all the pleases and thank yous and sorries that the English language uses are seen as quite suspicious, more like fakery than courtesy.

And weird attempts to grab your attention are also ignored, like making space when there's already plenty! That's creepy behaviour, why didn't he just say good morning and keep moving.

Seems to me the OP is full of her own self importance.

Quite uptight. Aren't you.

How is it self important to not think you need to say thank you to someone who hasn't actually done anything that requires thanks?

He didn't do anything except inconvenience himself which there was no need for him to do as his actions didn't help the OP in any way so why does she owe him thanks?

Maybe I've just lived in too many slightly dodgy areas but if someone stopped ahead of me on a more than wide enough pathway in order to "let me pass" I'd either be expecting them to try and jump me from behind after I've passed or engage me in conversation and either try to scam or threaten me ...

He might be an anxious person. Either way, you're analysing a situation, which the majority of people would take at face value. The self importance was in reference to 'randoms' joining you at your table. I take it you asked them to, as to be so presumptious as to just sit at your table, would be rude. I don't think you've got manners but seem very me me me.

My post was meant for the OP

So much paranoia @melj1213

I think it's nice, polite, decent etc to say 'thank you' if someone does something courteous/nice/helpful etc, but no-one HAS to. I am a bit torn on this, as I think yeah it's nice to say thank you, (and I usually do.) But if you haven't asked someone to do something, do you really need to thank them?

And for someone to do something you didn't ask them to do, and then expect a thank you, and have a go at you for not giving them a thank you, is pretty arsey, shitty, passive-aggressive behaviour frankly. And smacks of an entitled, and controlling person.

YANBU @OfcourseitsaNC This man was very passive aggressive. Like, 'I am moving out of your way, and giving you permission to walk past me whilst I stop in my tracks, and God forbid you don't say thank you little missy!'

Tough one, and there's no right or wrong really, but I am leaning more towards being on your side OP. I bet also, that this man would not have said the same thing to a man.

Also, too right the woman should reel in her mutt on the overly-long bastard dog lead! Those long leads are a nuisance. I've lost count of the amount of times I have almost tripped on the fucking things!

Why say thank you?
It’s kind.
It’s culturally appropriate.
It’s a small act of human contact in an ever physically disconnected world.
It spreads a tiny bit of happiness and civility.

What you have written reminds me of those people that also refuse to say sorry to someone unless the thing that happened to the other person was caused solely and purposefully by them.

Hey look OP, the bloke from the footpath has arrived!

Oh of course, I must be a bloke because women can't comment on other women's behaviour. How mature.

where do you get off moving other people's trollies? Rude, just wait your turn. I'd have 2 words for you.

Where do they get off putting their trolleys in a way that troubles others and ignoring people saying excuse me for them to move?

I’ve never moved anyone’s trolley but it is rude to block aisles and even worse to ignore the people asking to get past.