Why say thank you?

[OfcourseitsaNC]

A man stopped on the wide pavement and stood to the side to allow me to pass. He didn't need to. I didn't say thank you, as it was a pointless act. I heard a very British mumbled sarcastic comment "Well THANK you".

Yesterday, a woman pulled the very long lead on her dog in so that there was no longer a cable across the width of the path. I didn't say thank you to her either.

I'm done saying thank you to people who either do something pointless which was never needed, or who are correcting incorrect behaviour.

AIBU?

I had this happen to me but it felt off. The way he stopped but almost blocked my way going through an automatic sliding door that could definitely fit us both and more seemed aggressive or controlling, just made me feel uncomfortable for the forced interaction. It was enough that I was quite snarky and I am definitely not usually like that, I can smile,wave and ignore almost anything.

Yabu

YABU. It's polite to acknowledge someone showing consideration for you, even if you feel their consideration is unnecessary.

What if everyone thought "I'm done with courtesy"? The world doesn't need attitudes like yours OP.

I usually say thank you even when it is pointless but I understand your sentiment.

The one that annoys me most is when there are double swing doors in a corridor and for some inexplicable reason people only use one and form a contraflow. Then someone decides to stop and hold half the door open for me coming towards them. At which point I walk through the other side of the door demonstrating nobody needed to be held up in the first place.

I'm not thanking people just for causing that delay.

Exactly this.

Are you always so miserable OP?

Doesn't it make you feel better to be kind?

It costs nothing.

I always feel sorry for people like you as you must have such miserable lives if you can't even say thank you.

You are so cool.

You need to work on your social skills.

I thank people automatically as I was brought up to be polite
Thank you and a smile costs nothing and takes a second
I think YABU and unnecessarily rude

Just say thanks. It doesn't cost anything and might make you feel better.

Nah, you're doing it wrong op. You have to kick them in the shins as you walk past 😃

I’m with you, OP.

Can we add drivers who give way to you on roads wide enough to let two lorries past? 🤣

But they’re not as annoying as pedestrians and push chair pushers who think they own the pavement and expect people to recreate the parting of the Red Sea for them.

I think a part of you invites disapprobation. I wonder why.

Yeah that’ll stick it to those ‘moving out the way’ bastards

I don't agree that it is common courtesy to thank someone for being a prat. There was no need for the man to stop. 2 people abreast could have comfortably walked in the space between us.

Extendable dog leads should not be on full extension when others are using the path. Again, they were being a prat.

Another one which doesn't get a thanks. Prats who leave their trolley perpendicular in supermarket aisles. Who then don't hear/ignore your "excuse me", and get cross with you when you deign to move their trolley yourself.

And if it's British culture to thank them for their prattish behaviour, or say hello if you don't feel you can thank them, then I'm very happy to be counter cultural. I'll save my hellos for the people and thanks for the people who are being courteous and considerate.

I'd expect to be treated the same way if I were being a prat.

In schools kids are constantly told say please and thank you as its building blocks for a kinder society and makes other people feel appreciated.
It's not going to change thank god, why would you want it to?

No need to apologise. Own what you think.

In the same way I'm owning telling you that saying nothing to a person is a far better response to someone than calling a person a w⚓

Or a cunt @111111111a

Jesus, you sound insufferable!

Women are socialised to be polite to their own detriment.

My friend says sorry when people bump into her and then gets annoyed when they don’t say sorry back.

She just needs to stop saying sorry when people bump into her. I shout ‘oi’ when people bump into me because it’s quick and ambiguous.

I’m in a country where they really don’t say “thank you” very much. Even when I’m pushing the pram and letting people pass me they won’t give eye contact, they just walk on by. I’ve never seen anyone give a wave of thanks when a driver lets them cross the road. They don’t thank bus drivers either.

I am British and do all of the above. :)

I remember once I had an appointment to get a hair dye skin test with a new hairdresser. I wasn't sure where the hairdressers was, and I was walking along a narrow pavement looking in all the shop windows to trying to find it. A nice looking older lady with lovely hair started walking towards me on the narrow pavement so I thought I must be near the hairdressers because her hair was so nice and I was looking at her and wondering if she had just stepped out of the salon. I was a bit distracted by her and by the fact that I was still looking around for the hairdressers. She proceeded to step off the pavement to let me past and I smiled at her, still looking at her hair and wondering if she had just come out of the salon. She then suddenly said, "You're welcome!" in a really sarcastic and aggressive way that caught me off guard. I seriously wasn't being rude, I had just been distracted by trying to find the hairdressers, and also admiring her hair. I tried to put it out of my mind and found the salon a few doors along. As I was a little early for my appointment I walked back up the street and went into a couple of shops to kill some time. About fifteen minutes later I went back to the hair salon for my skin test appointment and lo and behold, the snarky aggressive woman was working there! It appeared she was the manager. I stared right at her, and I admit I got a bit of pleasure out of giving her a look that said, "we both know how rude you were to me fifteen minutes ago" and it was clear she was embarrassed. I went ahead with the skin test but needless to say I never went back to get my hair done there.

I don't want children to stop being taught please and thank you. I use those words frequently, as do my children.

Appropriately.

That's the key.

I'm not going to thank someone for something unnecessary. Or for doing something they should have already had the common courtesy to do. The door example earlier in the thread is a great one.

You sound like a very judgemental person who has no clue about human nature.

Perhaps you should look into why that is and what will make you less judgy and more understanding of people.