Why say thank you?

[OfcourseitsaNC]

A man stopped on the wide pavement and stood to the side to allow me to pass. He didn't need to. I didn't say thank you, as it was a pointless act. I heard a very British mumbled sarcastic comment "Well THANK you".

Yesterday, a woman pulled the very long lead on her dog in so that there was no longer a cable across the width of the path. I didn't say thank you to her either.

I'm done saying thank you to people who either do something pointless which was never needed, or who are correcting incorrect behaviour.

AIBU?

I had this exact thing once when someone moved their dogs off the pavement . I was in my own world and thought they were moving because they were crossing the road and didn't realise they'd moved especially. The THANK YOU just made me feel like shit there was no need for it.

I don't get off on it.

I'd rather the person didn't block the aisle with their trolley.

I'd rather they responded when I said excuse me, while trying to get through.

I'd ignore your two words for me, as you were in the wrong.

I'm staggered how many people think they deserve to be thanked for stopping doing something thoughtless and inconsiderate. Manners are deteriorating in this country but its not the lack of thanks from the op, its all the selfish attitudes being shown

Where I come from its called good manners I wonder what you would say/think if people let the door close in your face? or are you more entitled than us mere mortals ?

Totally agree with you and I am a thanker! They can just walk past me normally, don't need to make a song and dance about stepping aside when there's no need to do so.Sometimes I will smile in acknowledgment but that's enough. I round my dog up to stop her wandering in front of approaching cyclists in the woods and wouldn't be snippy about it if I wasn't thanked.

Thank goodness for the majority on this thread, who think the OP is being unreasonable. I live in a rural area and being a dog owner myself, I slow right down and pull over to the other side of the road when passing walkers with dogs on country lanes. Most people wave as a thank you and those who don't, are as ignorant as the OP and her minority entourage. This thread reminds me of doing something nice for somebody, who says well I didn't ask you to do it. Horrible attitude.

@Hersecretserviceyourmaj actually that is a good point. I don't have an extendable lead for my dog so she is always relatively close and there is enough space for someone to pass technically. But when I see someone approach me, I always stop, stand in to the side and hold my dog. It has never occurred to me before that someone might be highly offended at me doing it, even though they would've had enough space to pass if I didn't 😅

You sound rude. There doesn't have to be a reason to do something thoughtful or kind for someone but it is absolutely basic good manners to acknowledge it. Why not say thank you? Ate you really that spur that you can't be polite & acknowledge something?

I’m with you OP. It really throws me when people do something that I’m not expecting I.e move over for me when they don’t need to. I wouldn’t thank them.
Same goes for cars who stop to let me out of a junction, please don’t! I’m not expecting you to do this it just creates confusion. And then they get pissy if you don’t wave thank you, when they decided to stop. It really baffles me.

😂that's how crazy it is. We've even got somebody on here being offended when drivers let them out of junctions 😂

Some woman eye rolled and tutted loudly at me the other week because she walked out in the road to walk past us, there was no need, loads of room, it was like reliving the covid nightmare when people would actively avoid passing each other.
I didn't say thankyou either for her rather random, needless gesture, but she was extremely annoyed. I actually felt like saying something to her!

How was what the man did thoughtful? He definitely wasn’t kind to OP when she didn’t do what he wanted.

How is it thoughtful to move further away from a stranger who is not even near you?

I always thank dog owners who hold their dogs in close, therefore consider the shared space we're all using.

The length of lead you have will, I'm sure, give your dog opportunity dart in front of a passer should they choose to. By you choosing to hold your dog close and shorten the lead shows a consideration for others. Thank you for that.

Thought of this thread today, as I was walking along a path on which 3 different people moved over, even though technically there was room for us to pass without them doing so.
As I am a normal human being, my response was to smile and nod at the first chap (who just edged over a bit to give me a wider berth) , and say thank you to the young teen who stopped and stepped off the path, then say thankyou to the youngish man with the push chair who stopped on a wider bit about 10 yards in front of me on a slightly wider bit of the path.
Yes, all of them could have passed by me without us bumping elbows, but all of them were considerate of other people and made the decision to stop, so, as they did stop, my instinctive reaction was to acknowledge that / thank them as any normal person would, or how everyone does around here.
Cost me nothing. Just makes the world a slightly nicer place to be for a few seconds.
I can't see why anybody wouldn't do so, let alone feel so worked up about it that they then start a thread about it.

Quite. I think the OP should have just gone all out and called the bloke a daft cunt for thinking he was helping.

I work in a school and I hate it when kids don't say thank you for holding doors open etc. to be honest I find that a lot of kids are definitely lacking manners and basic common courtesy , which is their own prerogative, but it will definitely not be appropriate/ appreciated when they are looking for future employers to hire them.

Genuinely I feel that manners say a lot about the upbringing of a person. So if you didn't say thank you to me for whatever reason, I wouldn't lose sleep but id think you were rude and entitled. And I'm
Sure you're a really nice person but that's just what id think

Please don't come Up North. You'd hate it.

Why on earth are you lumping 'being nice when it's not strictly necessary' in with 'being a prat'? (Or prattish behaviour)?

That's very odd.

Do you really find it confusing if a driver let's you out at a junction? How the hell does it cause any confusion to anyone?
And because they don't have to, you don't thank them?
I would actually find it confusing to live in your world where you only thank people some of the time.
Does it cause you a hardship to thank people or something?

Yeah it really does because I’m not expecting it. I’m looking 2 cars back and anticipating a gap and someone randomly stops, then I’m like wtf are they stopped for?
People should be predictable, especially when driving.

If you can't cope with unpredictability when driving, you shouldn't be driving. You need to be able to anticipate and cope with pretty much every possibility.

I’m actually a great driver and I can anticipate fantastically, my risk perception is great. I’ve never had an incident in 17 yrs.
just it irritates me when people are not predictable and don’t follow the rules.

And yet you get "thrown" when people let you out... 🤔

Not sure why you are being so rude. Yeh it irritates me, that is allowed. People are different you know? My husband feels the same so I know it isn’t just me.
example waiting at a junction, I’ve spotted a gap. But someone else before the gap stops. I’m not expecting that, I don’t want that. I would rather wait for the gap I have judged appropriate. I really don’t see what is wrong with that.

Holding doors open for each other is a very different premise to the two examples in my opening post though @crispycruncher Of course that requires a thanks to be given.

My first example equates to someone holding the science lab door open for you when you were walking into the drama studio at the other end of the school. Completely unnecessary.