Why say thank you?

[OfcourseitsaNC]

A man stopped on the wide pavement and stood to the side to allow me to pass. He didn't need to. I didn't say thank you, as it was a pointless act. I heard a very British mumbled sarcastic comment "Well THANK you".

Yesterday, a woman pulled the very long lead on her dog in so that there was no longer a cable across the width of the path. I didn't say thank you to her either.

I'm done saying thank you to people who either do something pointless which was never needed, or who are correcting incorrect behaviour.

AIBU?

Strange isn't it

You're not a good driver because you don't grasp the concept of keeping traffic moving and not creating tailbacks.

Extendable dog lead etiquette, or the general lack of it, is one of my bugbears, so you’re not unreasonable on that score. It shouldn’t have been necessary to reel in her dog like a fish, so it doesn’t deserve thanks.

I also passionately hate people “letting you out” when driving, if they’re actually slowing down progress by doing it - for example when there’s no cars behind them and taking their priority would’ve been more efficient and clearer for everyone, or when the person they’re letting out can’t see other traffic and therefore can’t just pull out as instructed by the self-appointed road dictator. To be clear - that’s not people who let you out in busy traffic to keep the road processing safely - they’re perfectly sensible - it’s the ones who do it needlessly or dangerously I object to.

I would’ve thought the bloke who stopped to let you past just has a different idea of personal space to you, though, so I’d probably have thanked him, even if it wasn’t necessary in my opinion.

So on this morning's run, the same extendable dog lead owner had the lead across the entirety of the 4 person width path.

I actually growled at her, as I didn't see the thin lead in the dark and nearly tripped on it.

At this point in the day, you pass a dog walker, runner or walker every minute or so, so the path is being populated. People who take up the entire path with a dog lead are rude.

But according to the collective MN "wisdom" on here, I should have thanked her because she began to reel the lead in after I did my immediate stop in order to not fall over, right?

@OfcourseitsaNC if that's what you took from this thread then you ought to read through the responses again! 🙄

You sound very RUDE and self absorbed. Learn some manners. They cost nothing!!!

You're either mildly autistic or German. Which one is it?

I say "Thank you" or "Good morning" or "Lovely day for it" and all the other pointless, friendly things people say. Because I live on a long road with lots of older people and it might be one of the few social interactions they have. It cost nothing to be nice.

I wouldn’t. Not going to thank someone for a lack of self-awareness and thought of others. If it takes nothing to say thank you, it takes nothing to consider your environment and not have your dog on such a long lead that it impacts others.

Yup. Did that.

Several responses saying I should thank them for their courtesy as they reeled it in for me.

Several responses telling me kindness costs nothing.

Several responses telling me it may be the only interaction they get all day.

Several responses telling me it's nice to be nice.

Is there another conclusion which I should have drawn from MN "wisdom" on here?

Sounds like an unnecessary move on his part but I'd probs say thanks tbh just because of his well intentioned gesture. Plenty of men just bulldozer on expecting you to get out their way.

I say please and thank you to everyone who gives me service or consideration.
I have a wonky leg which I wear a knee brace on, use crutches and get overtaken by sloths.
Drivers who stop at crossings ( the ones without traffic lights ) who sit patiently while I lollop across always get a smile and a thank you, as do the people who either open doors or hold the door for me while I lollop towards them.
Most people are kind and considerate, so i acknowledge that with a thank you.
It's the little things in life.

@OfcourseitsaNC I have never known a Southerner with so much time on her hands.

I thought your update was that you'd gained some manners. You just seem aggressive.

Are you actually okay? You seem to just have a lot of pent up anger. How don't go about your day being so rude?!

OP, I posted up thread and have come back to say I changed my mind to YANBU.

I reflected on why my initial reaction was YABVVVVVVVVVU.

It's all about context. Having read your later replies, I get what you are saying.

The problem with MN is that the first post on a thread sets the tone - it's inevitable. No matter how many times the OP comes back to offer context (not dripfeeding), people have made up their minds and / or are in pile-on mode.

FWIW - you sound very level headed, pleasant and polite.

🌼🌼🌼

Much appreciated @MiniBossFromAus .

I agree the first few posts on threads set a tone. I've taken to reading the OP, then clicking to see their subsequent posts to try to hear their voice. Helps me post a more clear response to them rather than listen to the noise of other posters.

Or I say nothing at all and move along if I've nowt helpful nor kind to say. I don't want to be part of a pile on, that's for sure.

If you've just started your day in Aus, have a good one.